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Win Someone Over In 5 Seconds: Conversation Tricks

As a teenager, I was obsessed with learning about people.

It was my #1 hobby.

I would see charismatic people in interviews on TV: movie stars, public speakers, fascinating storytellers, and I would wonder, “What is their secret?”

Luckily, my Dad was an enormous self-improver. He had a ton of books on communication, negotiation, influence, and thanks to him I learnt so many secrets of impact that I still use every single day in my seminars, in my YouTube videos, in my business negotiations…

When you learn that importance of having influence and impact on people, you realise that it NEVER stops being important. So in this week’s video, I want to open up the kimono and share some of these secrets by showing THREE simple ways you can immediately make someone drawn to you in conversation.

Want the free guide my brother wrote exposing the charisma secrets I use on national TV and Radio? Download It Here


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"9 Texts No Man Can Resist"

23 Replies to “Win Someone Over In 5 Seconds: Conversation Tricks”

  • Hey Matt thanks for the great advice you are giving out!
    Love it and it helped me heaps since I started following you!
    By the way you look sexier than ever in this video!

  • Interesting read Stephen and Matt it musn’t have been easy allowing your bro to do this given its so personal! But that for me personally is what makes your life and relationship coaching so authentic and impactful. You show that you are human and don’t profess to be some sort of untouchable guru type figure like other coaches out there. I’m sure you were apprehensive in endorsing Stephen’s idea but it was certainly well worth it and will only help in increasing your popularity..Great Sunday morning feed to wake up to!

  • Great video…I downloaded & printed “The First 5 Minutes” a while back…It was awesome! A great collection to all the other articles I printed…
    I am learning so much! Thanks Matthew!
    I actually go to a event every month with a local radio station here in Edmonton, AB. Canada..I have 4 frends that work there…The event is called “The Art of Conversation”…& every month it is at a different restaurant..Forced to put your cell phones away…and meet all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds…Young, older…professionals…blue collar…white collar…It’s wonderful! & makes you converse with people..perhaps you wouldn’t normally meet in one place…Great practice! & a great place to meet new & interesting people…& it’s NOT A DATE you are with…so, there is NO pressure & you can leave when you want to….Escape if you need to..but at least I am getting out & about! & it is NOT a waste of time…I’ve met some really cool people there…& there are no strings attatched…Converse..have fun…eat some food, have a drink..and go home…& you never know who you might meet…Keeping those doors open…Exactly what you have told us to do…..No harm in it…but opening your circle of friends even larger…so you can meet more new people….It’s all good! ;) <3 Cheers!

    1. I’ve done that myself Sydney… LOL! We have been out for dinner at a restaurant.. & I have told my girls to turn their phones off! No need to interrupt our meal unless they are bleeding & dying somewhere! LOL! They are 26 & 23… They can NOT resist answering a text if their phones are on… I just think it is rude & offensive to my Mom (their grandma) & their cousins & Uncles & Aunts.. To be doing that at dinner…Plus, we don’t get together that often… Everyone is busy with their lives… So when we get together… The phones should be turned off… Nothing is that important, friend-wise to interrupt a family dinner! I have told my adult girls… “You have lost the art of conversation… You are going to be socially retarded if you keep it up & not make the effort to get out & see your friends face to face”! Technology is great… Don’t get me wrong… But people are really getting lazy with conversation (talking to one another) & getting out to socialize.. I am old-school… Have always loved being out & talking with people face to face… It shows you a more genuine person… You can hide your true self behind a phone & computer… But, when it is in person… It reveals a lot more… Doesn’t it??? Just saying… You get a vibe from that person… More personable… I have always been able to read people quite well.. That gut feeling you get from meeting people… Whether positive or negative…some people give me the “creeps” when I meet them…& my intuition is usually right…

  • The only thing i experienced when making another person the expert is that then they can misread that and think they are superior to you. It’s happened in speed dating scenarios with more than one guy! Really put me off immediately. Also – the captivate ‘so let me ask you…’ – if its not a great question coming afterwards, then people could mentally brush you aside as ‘not interesting/useful’. Some rooms are hard to work! I think it’s how to phrase those things that’s an art in itself!

  • Thank you so much for your videos
    i appreciate them a lot :)
    And I rediscovered my interest in psychology in combination for human behaviour again… So I would be very interested in getting some recommendations on books, podcasts, films or whatever that you read or listen to :) maybe some people who serve as a role model for you?
    Thanks and have a good time :)
    Sarah with greets from Vienna

  • Hey Matty, can you talk more about being assertive? I used to be a mean girl, and in being determined to change I became too nice and very passive. Would love your input on that for dating and life in general. I’ve done a good job at applying all your advice on dating, but this is the one area where I still struggle. Your content on breaking rapport is great, but lacks this part. Assertiveness is a must in order to confidently break rapport, and consistently communicate my standards – without being aggressive. Know what I mean?

  • Matt, you say you have a stylist? I’m sorry I find it hard to concentrate on what you’re saying with your hair this messy, what happened? Your hair always looks great. Also you look like you borrowed a jacket from a hobo. This look, this way looks awful on camera, it’s not working, you don’t look polished. Am I mistaken or no one oversaw your styling the day you made this video? I can always tell when a guy dressed himself. hahaha. I truly love you Matt, your videos and programmes have been quite helpful. I’m a professional stylist, and actually I love working with guys. Can you please let me style you? I’m sorry, I just can’t bear to see you dressed like this on videos! It’s not the first time your outfit makes me cringe. You’re always sending out such powerful messages, it really looses power if you don’t look the part. You should redo this video, and for God sakes, let me style you. You’re too hot to be dressed all shabby. What a waste.

  • Very interesting, but! In my experience, when people go for the question of tip 1, they pose questions that are meant to challenge, but in a bad way. So when someone does this, it predesposes me (and others that I’ve asked about it) quite negatively.
    I’ve also had weird experiences with the 3rd tip. It’s something i used to do a lot, for the exact reasons you mention. But usually it brings other people to an awkward position as they don’t really know what to say or even want to answer, and makes me the person that has neither knowledge nor anything better to say. And in the end, they either brush me off as being too challenging and difficult to talk to, or bc I’m not “worthy of their time” as they rather speak with those who don’t need explanations and expositions..(this happens both in friendly context and not). Another scenario is that they think I’m romantically interested in them bc i show so much interest and pay attention, instead of just considering a nice person, so i end up with people i don’t like hitting on me..

    The second one is delightful. Have done it a lot, since like always, but perhaps I’ve done it too much.. as i said, people usually think I’m flirting even when I’m not :/ which tends to bring me to awkward situations…

  • Hi, I tried to download “The First 5” but it’s telling me “this form is no longer accepting submissions”.

    Does anyone know of another way to get this download??


  • I just love everything about you, you changed my life…. I feel so passionate about human dynamics… it’s like a completely new world and i only want to learn more… I have been listening to you for 3 weeks no and i am obsessed Thank you Thank you Thank you

  • Dear Matthew and Stephen,
    You are so creative, I always love getting your perspective on things. Stephen’s guide was thouroughly presented and has set a new standard for me. I couldn’t stop laughing while hearing the first five minutes of Matthew’s interview, as well admiring the special dedication and persevenance he must have had all these years, in order to be able to win anyone over. With Stephen’s help I was able to fully interpret Matthew’s strategy. Your achievment is a great motivator and example to us all. Thanks for such an uplifting coverage.
    Regards from rainy Athens

  • Hi gentlemen.

    I’ve tried to download this three times. I keep getting an error that the form is no longer accepting submissions.
    Matthew I love your tips.

  • Matthew —

    I’ve tried several times, on two different computers and using two different e-mail addresses, to download the guide your brother wrote (“The First Five Minutes”). Unfortunately each time I get this same error message:

    There was 1 error:

    This form is no longer accepting submissions.

    I wrote you an e-mail about it a week ago, but the address I used might not be monitored for responses. I’m hoping responses here will be seen. (If someone else has already notified you, then sorry for the redundancy.)


  • He can be an excellent life coach. I think he already is. I watched many of his videos and this might sound a bit off but my take away has always been more than dating problems. I think he means a lot more than what we think he is saying. Out of all the videos that I have watched, I have learnt to be prepared. To be prepared to achieve success, to be recognized, to be respected and and to be loved. You just need to work hard on yourself, to be better everyday, to improve yourself every day and to be worthy of all that you wish for in life. That is what I absorb when I listen to him. There is always a deep and hidden meaning to every one of his videos.

  • Matt, (..pregnant pause..), you are so lovely, and I feel like I’ve discovered a ‘big brother, albeit a ‘digital big brother’ who gives life-bringing advice to help along the journey. Again, you are so lovely and thank you! You have such a genuine look in your eyes as you speak. Love it.

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