When He Says “I Need Time,” You Say This…

Ever had a guy who swings between making you feel like he wants no one else in the world and suddenly pulling away and freaking out?

It’s easy to assume that you somehow have to figure out what’s going on his head and convince him of the right choice.

Instead, I want you to do this…

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21 Replies to “When He Says “I Need Time,” You Say This…”

  • I am in a situation, which i can’t handle. I love my boyfriend so much but he betrayed our love, hurt me so badly he cheated and got the lady pregnant, he asked forgiveness which i did but I can’t be in the relationship with him..i feel so angry when he texts me or calls but sometimes I feel like i should try to give him another chance. I honestly don’t know what to do about this.

  • I met a guy in a dating site. Very charming and of course we met. First flag and I know I should have walked away immediately was when he told me that his divorce was not finalized ☹️ . But I said well he’s been honest so I went and continue. Now 3 months later and intimate, he tells me he enjoys everything that he does with me, going out,spending time together, our sex, etc. But he’s not ready for a relationship and he knows that’s no fair for me. But he’s still calls me every day and want to do everything like in a relationship. I’m so confused. Part of me wants to walk away and the other wants to hang and wait.

  • As someone trying to leave a relationship with an alcoholic, the red flags come up twice during the video. My situation is more common than you would imagine.

  • I met a guy 7 months ago. Perfect guy until he started accusing me of cheating. Blocked him, then reconnected again. Problem is we have a great time together. Everything is great, just always waiting for his insecurities to surface.

  • Lol, had an exact same situation this past Wednesday, with a guy I wasted two years on and hate to admit tempted to find an excuse for him and waste some more time. That being said my question is “why is girl brain so messed up?” Lol. I mean I’ve known all along what I needed to do in this situation and didn’t do, not doing it properly even now.

  • I would ask him ” is the time and energy I give and spend on us, valuable to you?”

    if he says yes then say ” I am flattered that you are aware not to waste it by asking me to wait”

    If he says No then it’s an obvious thing to walk away.

  • Nice shirt Matt, that color really complements your eyes. Btw good video, its nice that your showing issues that come along and giving the instructions how to answer/handle it.

  • Hi. I loved this video. My question is,, how to take a guy out of your head when we know there is no future or not a good future together.

  • We were in relationship for 14 months he was workaholic, spending most of his time on university courses, works and getting different certificates, and stressed out most of the time. I tried to adjust myself and my expectations to fit with his situation. But I wasn’t happy as I didn’t feel he put any effort toward our relationship. I asked him a few times before that what’s his vision for our relationship and he just told me I’m thinking about you long-term and ‘ve never had such connection with anyone in my life and pretty sure that I cannot find anyone in future with such a connection. You are my best friend we have so much fun with each other, but currently I can’t put more effort than this as my career goals and certificates are so important and high priorities for me.
    There were a couple of weekends that he wasn’t able to spend time with me due to his exams except for a short walk or coffee talk. One day about more than two months ago, after not seeing each other for two weeks due to his exams, I was so mad he didn’t put a little effort to spend more time with me, he just came over to go for a walk. I’be been always patience and in control never goes mad bit this time uncontrollably I was mad and disappointed we started talking and I raised my question are we in relationship at all? And if we want this relationship works we need to invest in it. If I take one step to build and improve the relationship are you willing to take one step?
    He got mad and he was already stressed out he said You’re giving me more stress. I need a break 2 months or more!
    I was mad too I asked what is this? Do you mean we’re done!? He said no I asked for a break. Then after some other discussions I asked him to come over to my house to give him back his stuff. He said I’ll come and pick them up later. I said no right now. I was so mad I didn’t want to break up and finish. He dropped me off and left I called him why you left he said I come an take them later.
    He hasn’t contacted me from that day,Neither did I.
    I am still hoping to get him back I controlled myself not to contact him up until now. Please please let me know what I should do?
    I can’t believe how he was able to stay away from me. He was hot and cold gave me mixed signals. One day he talked about WE, one day talked about I.

    If you can help me know what action I should take to get him back? And ask what’s our status now?
    I appreciate it greatly. Can’t wait to hear back from you.

    Thanks Mathew,

  • I’ve been with a guy for nearly 8 yrs. we both are divorced with kids (grown). He had been up and down over the years and sometimes needs time. We had a talk this morning to discuss “us” and he’s going through a hard time coping with a lot of “stuff” in his life and is pulling away. He needs time and asked me to hang in there. He always says he loves me no matter what.
    But this is not the first time he’s doing this and won’t be the last. I’m not getting any younger, all of 54 years, and it’s not easy and unsettling to have a person that does this every time he has a lot to deal with. It’s the roller coaster ride I’ve been on for many years. He’s a camera man in the film industry and just finished working on a show and trying to find work and so it’s “freak out” time. It’s very hard to deal with. Any advice for me would be great. TY

  • 1. Still Enjoy your life
    2. Enjoy every moment of your life cuz life is only one time.
    3. Still enjoy your life, be happy cuz he’s not good for me. Yeah baby

  • That’s cool. You take whatever time you need. I’m going to go on enjoying my life. You do it in a nice, pleasant way but make it clear.

  • Matthew,, there’s this guy I had in my life.we dated for some times it was working well.But there came an issue I have failed to understand completely.thebguy does not pick up . Neither did he reply to my watsap massages..He is not in my country,(Uganda) but he is a Ugandan..At the moment he is in Jordan.. So what could this kind of love mean?? Am confused..

  • Matt- I can’t thank you enough for what you do and your positive unique approach to this life of love and emotion. I’m 56 been married for 20 years and have two “semi” grown children. I’ve been divorced for 13 years and been through 3 relationships each lasting about 3 years. Fortunately I have a good bond and friendship with each of my ex’s. I believe if you ever really love someone , and I’ve been lucky to have loved, you always love them, even if you’re not destined to be together for the rest of life.
    I can go on and on about where I am romantically and how I managed to get there but the point I really wanted to make with this email is how you’ve given me, someone whose naturally talkative and a bit flirty, the courage and motivation to be a better me!
    I’ve talked to my sisters and friends about how you’re approach to dating begins with getting your own life in balance. Just wanted to say thanks for being there. You’re a wonderful coach.

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