Have you ever been frustrated with others, only to reflect on the situation and realise you were the one at fault?
Have you ever moaned or complained about something, only to realise you were being a hypocrite?
At a recent dinner party in Los Angeles, I committed the cardinal sin of conversation.
In this week’s video I want to tell that story.
Envisioning yourself being the centre of a room and holding court… This is how NOT to do it, followed by a few useful tips to get you back there.
Hi Matthew, I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years in September of 2013. We got back together then in January of 2014. However, the relationship only lasted a couple of weeks as we were both studying in separate universities and I was confused about the future of our relationship due to the distance. So I ended the relationship again. We did not speak after we broke up. I started drinking heavily and going out a lot. My ex knows I was out partying quite often as we remained friends on facebook. I think this may have given him the impression that I was not bothered by the break up but I was I was drinking to forgot the pain. I really thought ending the relationship was the best choice but I still really missed him. We did not speak for five months after it ended until one day he text me saying hope you are doing good, well done on passing your final year exams, no one knows how hard you worked more than I do. We exchanged a few casual texts that day and that was it. I wanted to tell him how I felt that day but I was afraid so I didn’t. five weeks later I finally decided to text him to say hello and ask how he was keeping but he never replied?? I waited a few days and still no reply so I decided to text again. This time I told him how much I missed him and that I was sorry for everything that happened. I told him I wouldn’t text again as he had not answered my texts so I assumed he does not want to speak to me. Why did he not text me back?? Is he over me??? I really miss him. Please write back I don’t know what to do..I really need your help! x
I loved the message about approaching people like interesting books to read. It feels so different when someone shows genuine interest in us, rather than half-hearted “uh-huh”s as we tell a story. Have you ever met someone in one venue, for instance in a corporate setting, and they seem stiff and boring, but then you meet them in another venue, for instance a sporting event or party, and you discover how interesting the person is? The person hasn’t changed – just the venue. We can help others change their internal venue to reveal their “interesting” parts by asking good questions and drawing them out. Suddenly the conversation becomes more interesting for everyone!!
I agree. But I’m thinking that sometimes listening, just listening and watching people talk, their excitement, their enthusiasm, their faces and smiles when they are passionate about something can be the most beautiful thing. I learn a lot from that too.
Great topic Matt! Great perspective! Thanks!