I’m sitting here less than two weeks out from my new TV show and book release (both on the 9th of April) and it’s a very surreal moment.
Advanced copies just arrived in the post, and it’s the first time I’ve had my hands on the real thing.
It’s a pretty special moment to be holding the book for the first time.
As I open it, between the dedication (to my mum of course ;) and the first chapter, I read the epigraph that I chose:
“This moment contains all moments” – C.S. Lewis
The meaning I take from this is that in this moment you hold the power to every other moment in your life.
Right now you have a huge array of decisions you COULD make, actions you COULD take, paths you COULD embark on. Which one you choose will determine which of the many roads you go down.
This beautiful sentence to me sums up what we do at GetTheGuy. I’ve come to learn that the smallest things we do are the things that generally have the biggest impact on our lives.
When a woman comes to me worried that guys just see her as a friend – or one of the guys – she usually can’t see that she is just ‘millimeters’ away from being seen as sexy or feminine. The tiny things she does in the way she touches men in a more masculine manner, or the odd word that suggests a friendship rather than a sexual connection are what determine how she is seen.
When a woman worries that she comes across as cold and unapproachable, it’s not because of anything major she’s doing wrong. It’s the small stuff. The way she turns away too fast when a guy gives her eye contact. It’s because she doesn’t smile just a couple of millimeters more with her mouth to show she’s non-threatening. It’s the way her answers to a man’s questions are just a few words short of seeming interested.
And of course, it’s the same in relationships. The moment you kiss your partner passionately for no reason at all. The 10 second call you make to tell someone you are thinking of them. The little present you bring them that cost $5 but shows you were listening when they said that thing two weeks ago.
Often we become overwhelmed by the amount of things we have to do to reach a desired goal.
I meet people all the time who are overwhelmed by the concept of going from single to meeting ‘the One’. “What am I doing wrong?” “Where should I be going?” “What do I need to be doing differently?”
If this moment does indeed contain ALL moments – every possible future outcome for your life – then what you do right now will change the picture of your life one day from now, one year from now, and even ten years from now. But nothing is served by overwhelming yourself with anticipating this change in any given moment. Instead, focus on the tiny shift you can make right now.
Pick one way to do this in this very moment.
And remember… There’s nothing bigger than the little things.
Matthew xxx
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As you know my book is coming out in less than two weeks. If you are wondering what ‘little things’ you can do in your love life to find and create an incredible relationship with an amazing guy, grab a copy. You won’t regret it.
Pre-order your copy of Get The Guy now…
PPS: So proud of you, Matthew!^^ And so glad that we are witness of your increasing success in bringing souls together :)
I’m in a long-term relationship (7 years) with a man 13 years YOUNGER than myself. It drives me crazy when I know that he spends time w/ his best female friend. She’s young, cute, petite! Everything that I am not. But I’m freaking AWESOME!!! She can’t hold a candle to me (at least that’s what I telling myself) I am learning to control my thoughts of negative things, and my jealous actions… “in this moment, and all moments I choose to be a bigger and better version of my AWESOME self”
Ya know what…? Just simply reading that you took a quote from
C.S. Lewis made me recognize that I could trust in the wisdom you bestow. It’s had to follow the wise words of another as sometimes there are hidden agendas (more ways to make money), but Matthew – I am impressed by you and that quote alone let me know your intentions are pure.
:) thank you, Amanda
I’ve got my popcorn, and my girls and we are ready for love!
Congratulations Matt, it’s really awesome to see your hard work and dedication pay off – your passion really shines through everything you do.
Cheers,
Celine
So lovely! And so encouraging! xo
Hello Matt
I have an exam today , wish me luck
Good luck!!! x
Great news I did great in the exam , I expect to get 90% of the answers correct :D . I am so happy and my Spring Holiday just started.
my previous reply was 2 hours before the exam and I could not resist reading the whole article very quickly and replying.
We are so lucky to have you Matt , first time I watched your video in August 2011 I was like why I did not know about this person before !!!.
But before that I saw you once in Plain Jane show in March and I liked your advices that you gave to the girl in the show and then I totally forgot about you and I did not even know that you have an online website. and One day in youtube in August I was searching about “guys advices for girls” and I found your video and I said oh he looked familiar.. where did I saw him.. and yeah I remembered you, from that time magic happend in my life. I just got back my life I am totally a different person comparing to that time. I just keep growing everyday. I am happy with my level now and I look forward for more. I just keep telling my friends and family about you, your video and your upcoming book and I am so excited and they ask my why are you so excited haha , I answer them they will never know what I am talking about unless they watch one of your video. Unfortunately, there are not a lot of videos for guys , most of them are about girls issue and dating. But I am persistent haha they got to watch your videos and read your articles.
Thanks a lot
I wish you a magical life.
Reem with love
Wow, this inspired me to be productive! Matthew, next time you’re going between American and Europe, make a stop in Iceland. I’ll show you around, it’ll be fun! ;)
Just pre-ordered your book. Love all your work Matthew, you have a real gift. Please continue to touch people´s heart and inspire them. Oh and come to Brazil sometime. =)
This moment contains all moments… Couldn’t be more true… You have changed my outlook on life and on relationships forever… Wish you all the success in your career and in your private life… Zs xxx
Hmm.. Thank you for showing us (again) that “the little things” in life determine what the next (great!) thing can be. Action-reaction.
So with a little change/adjustment (from us), a whole other reaction can be triggered. This just shows that we have to become more aware of how we react towards others and if we look deeper why we react like that. What needs some adjustments? Very deep stuff.. I like it..!
Thank you for sharing!
x Tamara
One of the things I greatly appreciate about you, Matt is that you are very respectful and kind. You seem to care about yourself and everyone around you with an awareness that is present…confident…a knowinf for how to take it up a notch.
I just pre-ordered your book and look forward to receiving and reading it!
Here’s to many more awesome times for you and your team!!!
I just got here from the mail (it was not needy, just plain adorable!)
xx :)
I’m going to london for a few days, I’ll say hi if I see you!
Hey Matt!
Jesus Crist, that’s the second time you’re mentioning those millimeter shifts, and in fact I already was about to comment already last time. I have quite the opposite problem from being seen as merely a friend and believe me it makes life hell. And I’m not even having the happily ever after either!!!! I would give SO SO much to be able to just be seen as a friend instead of somebody guys want to chase down, drag into bed or get married to!!! And with this I do not intend to imply that I’m so wonderful hot or amazing that men just can’t keep their distance. It’s just seriously awful if you don’t find a job where the girls hate you and the guys hit on you, write your thesis without being hit on by your prof as every other student does or have male friends. My female friends don’t want to go out with me any more since they claim not to get to know any guys when I’m around and others won’t even have me meet their new boyfriends!!! I have absolutely NO idea what I’m doing different from your regular girl next door… So please do explain some more about those millimeter shifts, or a private lesson about “how to get rid of the guy (without being impossible)” or something!!! Thanks so much!!!! XXX,
Honestly Leticia, when I read your comment, I felt as if I was the one who wrote it! I’m in the same situation than you. I have to focus on work right now, and every one (guys) seems to – like you said – hit on me! So much that it’s hard for me to focus. I’m just “me”, always trying to see the good sides of things in life, always seem to be happy, joyful, optimistic! What are those things in behaviour we’re doing “wrong” Matt?
Hey Elle!!!
Probably the thing we’re doing wrong is that our focus is set elsewhere, not on men! On the other hand it might not be helpful to be too excessively nice to men, maybe, at least if not interested. In my opinion I treat everyone the same, though, men and women… It would seriously be amazing to hear what you have to say, Matthew!!!
This blog was written at the perfect time for me!
Life is a culmination of all of our little moments, it’s so important to make each one count.
Thank you Matthew!
P.S. Your personality really shines through in your writing. It’s so refreshing to see/read how genuinely passionate you are about helping others.
I can’t wait to read your book,and I’m so excited that you will have a whole new platform for reaching people.
All the BEST!
Hi, Matt!
I’m going to gift myself by attending one of your 5 day retreat seminars within the year, and I live in Asia. After all, I deserve only the very best, right? ; )
Wishing you the very best life has to offer,
Angela
Your advice is universal. Everything you say applies to so much more than just one’s love life. “Thank you” doesn’t seem sufficient. Expect lots of hugs when you come to New York. Actions speak louder than words, and I warn you now — I’m a hugger.
Lisa G
Hi there Matt,
Am first to admit, I’m deeply emotional.
After reading through your thoughts, naturally I became a little bit tearful – it touched me, at a core which obviously stirred my heart strings.
Your understanding of the subtle things of ‘connection’ and explanations of them, in your commitment to help and re-assure, is truly from someone who only wants true happiness, for others.
Btw, I have pre-ordered your wonderful work.
And, having read some of the introductory excerpts, am fascinated with the instant way you immediately wrap your ‘angel’ wings around us.
Thats the heartfelt feeling, which comes across.
It feels secure knowing, you are so genuine, in your love of people.
Thanks for your thoughts today, Matt –
And so incredibly true
I love your passion & commitment
You Amaze me!
Tina x
You, Matt, are one of those random things people come across in the world of YouTube and can’t get enough. Hooked from day one!
You are so full of it! Ha, but of the logical and practical sort! I was in LA last week and had a women question me in the parking lot right after your seminar ended. She asked if you’re really “legitimate.” This almost made me laugh because if 4 hours didn’t convince a person if YOU are or aren’t, not sure what would. =D Anyway, my reply was short and simple. It is that if you can make sense out of it then that makes it legitimate. And I am all for that, logic & sense!
Know that I and many are enjoying your blog and look forward to your complete volume of Get the Guy. Keep us all posted on your book-signing “moment” on the east coast, please! Love yah!
Thanks Matthew.. Honestly, mean that.
I’m barely going to turn twenty in a few days with a beautiful three year old son and already in life I’ve lost allot of my self worth.. I was down in the dumps one day about the father of the kid and how my hopes for our love and our happy family were perishing when I finally decided to do something.. And I found this. All this time I’ve been reading every email and learning that much more that I do matter.. So for that I thank you. The dad and I may not be together, but I can already see that he’s learning to value me just like you taught me to value myself
Love you Matthew – Beatriz Sanchez <3
My problem is sometimes I like the guy so much and have so many thoughts running through my head that I can’t think straight then I just sound and look silly:( What do you do when you really want the guy to know you adore him but he makes you so nervous (in a good way) you just don’t know how to control it especially when you can’t remember the last time someone made you nervous and giddy. I don’t fall often but when I do it’s pretty big