The #1 Biggest Mistake You Can Make in a Relationship

There is ONE mistake a woman can make that will ruin a relationship every time.

Think you know what it is?

You may be surprised at the answer…

This is just one of the questions I tackle in this week’s video in our newly-popular #AskMatthewHussey format.

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19 Replies to “The #1 Biggest Mistake You Can Make in a Relationship”

  • 1st,your light is too flashy?!…lol
    okay i get that ;) putting emphasis on something.

    2nd,finally-jameson got his 2nd break ;) and that kristina’s :) question was similar to my situation…coming back home and building same connection is challenging but it’s not really impossible at all if there was something that linked us in the first place…find that common ground you once had or something you know that interests them:) just be casual, if you wanted to win a friend ;) then be friendly always starts in you ;)

    3rd,yes as the world innovates our relationships too must progress-from dating to friendships, friendships to partners, partners to lovers and so on…progression is the antidote to boredom and finding meaning to why we are sticking in certain relationships- if we are growing…it’s a good hint that we’re in the right place with the right people…

    keep it coming coach Edward, i mean coach Matthew-your whole team rocks!

  • Can you do a video about helping women that got out of a violent relationship? There are lots of women that have experienced domestic violence and find difficulty trusting again. There is very little information on how to trust again and get back to dating.
    Most women do the freedom program to help them move on but all it does is to make women freak out that all men around them are abusers.
    Women’s aid forum has many women that are asking for guidelines and there isn’t much info online. I know it is a special case but it will be great to see someone caring for this group that really needs help.
    Thanks in advance
    Candice x

  • I think, when u pressure a guy by asking questions like how far do u want to take this relationship with me. or asking where r u, where r u going. (Keeping track of him). Not a good idea.I find that a relationship should not have conditions or stipulations… it should be about 2 people who love each other and want to be together.

  • Hi Matthew.

    I’ve been friends with this guy for about 4 years. I was his boss when I met him. The past 3 years, we’ve got different jobs now. Anyway. I’ve slowly grown to have a thing for him every time I see him. We have the same friends. So since we’re both single, things finally happy about a month ago on my birthday weekend. We’ve gone on a few dates and things happened. Some of my friends say that it was inevitable that it was bound to happen between me and him. My thing is, he’s my friend and how do I transition into this whole “I like you more than a friend” or “I like you for more than all of this fun we are having with each other”. I’ve been trying not to overwhelm him this week by not initiating texts or asking him to hang. We’re busy people and have weird schedules and make time to take care of things for our individual selves. Tonight, one of our friends invited him out, I grabbed him and said to come into the club with us because it’ll be a good time. So TONIGHT this video of “make him chase you” I think worked. I made sure to make my circles and have fun. Guys were flirting with me in front of him and he kept his eyes on me. Doing this whole initiate contact and walk away and talk to others I believed worked. He soon came next to me and talked to me and gently touched my arm, stomach, and back. Later, he came behind me and put his head on my shoulder and was holding me from behind while I was talking to or friends. My friends knew what was going on just by guessing. It was their first time seeing him being like that full on with me. They were like kids being giddy and laughing. Before he left to take my friends home. He hugged me for awhile and kissed me on the cheek twice. I kissed him back. Weird because our friends were behind him giggling. Well, it’s been tough to get another one on one with him. My sister and brother’s fiancé say not to ask anymore or text until he texts me and asks me. I’ve tried 3x this past week and for him something comes up and I genuinely believe his reasons. I like him and don’t want to be a fool. Am I doing the right thing by waiting for him to reinitiate contact? We never used to text a lot before until things happened. It used to be every few months. I don’t want to make a mistake here. What are your thoughts?

  • I think the biggest mistake that I can make in my future relationship is when I didn’t trust him 100% and always asking do you love me? How much do you love me? Questions like that will be the cause of a relationship mistake.

  • Hi Matthew.
    I meet this guy recently and we’ve been on several dates together. After our first date it was quite evident we were attracted to each other we had an amazing time and by the end of the date he set up a second date , which he took me to his house ans showed me where he lived nothing happened we had dinner and watched a movie together. We text each other almost everyday and talk on the phone sometimes. I am still a student and he works full time and we donot have enough time to spend together. I thought we had some good going on and I was excited to find out where it was heading because I was beginning to like him but 4 days ago he sent me a text saying we should be “cuddle buddies” and the is not going to be sex involved . The problem here is I donot want the whole cuddle buddy thing and Iam not into the friends with benefits thing either if that should ever come up. What do you suggest I do should I just Move on and forget about this guy?. Between iam 24 and he is 31.

  • C mon! You hated Bora Bora :D
    Ok, thanx for the great video.
    I really like the quality of camera work and content and Matt, you are getting more Man every day!
    Keep up the good work ;)

  • I recently met this guy and he has told me he doesn’t want to see me again even though we both like each other. He says he doesn’t want to hurt me and told me that he isn’t in the right place to commit. Question ‘in such a case where a guy has already said from day 1 that he is emotionally unavailable, is there any way of breaking down that barrier still?’ #askmatthewhussey

    1. No, Zoe Gude, I think believe what he is telling you and move on. If a guy is not looking for a relationship or if he does not want one with you, then there is nothing you can say or do to change that.

      The more you try to force a relationship, you will feel worse and it will not work anyways. Only invest in people who invest in you, you deserve someone who wants to be with you, you are a high value woman and high value women do not force connections. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you.

      I have been where you are, let this one go and open up your eyes and your heart and you will find the right one and follow Matt’s advice.

  • Hi matt

    recently my Ex send me a text ,the ‘how you doing’ text afer breaking up around 4 years ago and I was a bit surprised. We went on a few dates and thing happened after that . I had feelings for him during that time but now I find my self drifting away . He wants to “try ” to make it work but their is no communication no ‘I want to spend time with you Lets hangout’ etc . so my question is should I try and make it work with him or am I putting myself up for failure and giving him what he wants without getting anything my self out of this ?.

  • I agree with what you said about doing things to improve the relationship. it’s so easy to get comfortable and it seems like once there is too much comfort, the relationship is ruined. There should always be a sense of spontaneity for it to work and last.

  • Hello Matthew! Love your videos :) Since you meet hundreds of women at your live events and retreats, what sets one woman apart from others that makes you want to pursue her? Im curious of what your looking for personally in a partner. Also excited to see you at your live event at Orlando in April. Keep up the good work!

  • Okay so I’ve been dating this guy I met on Tinder (yes, Tinder) for over 7 months now. He goes to school 4 hours from my school, but we’re closer when I’m at home (2 hours). He’s 23 and I’m 21. He’s the sweetest guy ever and I have fallen for him. He’s been in long term relationships all his life so he had made a pact (before he met me) that he wouldnt have a girlfriend in 2014. I, on the other hand, have always had a good thing with a guy and then been left out of the blue with no explanation. It always hovers around 2 months or less before flopping out. So this is the longest “situation” I’ve been in. He acts like he’s in love with me. I always get the looks, and he adores me and all that. We’ve been talking on the phone much more lately, as before we would just communicate via snapchat. I go see him about every 3 weeks for a weekend (his truck is terrible and I have a brand new car with great mileage, plus he has a big boy job and I only have a job at school). Things are going great. He claims me as his woman and everything, not a problem there. He lives in a house with 2 other people. I know his friends. I’ve met his family and he’s met mine.

    The only thing is that there’s no “solid” commitment. And I already told him I loved him (month 4, and my first time saying it out loud to a guy) but at the time he said he was sorry [basically he didnt] and it was because of his past relationships. He did have some psycho girlfriends in the past and they were all long term (all 3+ years). I’m graduating this May and he’s in until December. I either will go to grad school closer to him or farther away (depending on where I get in). I have no idea how to talk to him and bring things up without messing everything up, which is my biggest fear. I know that he has a blueprint in his head that he needs to be “single” (it’s technical, because we’re basically in a relationship and he would never cheat on me) for a while so he can focus on himself. A very good thing to do, I’m not knocking that. But I think he feels, just like I do, that this is way more permanent. Like I can definitely see myself marrying this man. He always future talks (not marriage and kids, but future holidays and things like that) so its not a mystery as to him seeing us having some sort of future. I just don’t know what to do. Help me out.

    1. BK, if I were going with what I’ve learned from Matthew, I’d say you need to try and bring up the “what are we” question as non-threatening as possible. It sounds like he’s afraid of making your relationship a “thing” because of his past experiences. It’s a mind game – the minute he identifies you two as being together, his mind is going to bombard him with emotions and reasons why it’s a bad idea to define it. I personally would try and bring it up casually, sharing your feelings with him, but definitely stressing that making you two official doesn’t have to change the fun you’re having together. Show him that this is something he wants (which inwardly he does), not something to be feared. It may take more time, but you can do it! Ultimately he wants to feel he’s the one that’s making the decision to move forward – Matthew is all about letting the guy think he’s doing the work. ;)

  • This was different…good work mattt,, your a blessing to so manyyy…:) stay blessed…6 on 10 fof vedio:)

  • Hello All,

    I was at Matthew’s event in Toronto last weekend and want to put some of his techniques to work.

    Anyone want to join me at a bar this weekend to practice?

    Ladies night out where we can run around pretending men are our body guards and complementing them on their shoes.

    No more sitting at home…say YES!

    Let me know you can make it on this site. Thanks!

  • Hi Matthew,
    I am in an online relationship. We are meeting in 3 weeks and we have had at the beginning where we got to know one another and had meaningful conversation that has turned very sexual and now I am concerned that when we meet that is all that it will be. I really like this guy but would like more.


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