Did You Sleep With Him Too Fast?

You’re in bed with a guy.

It’s the morning after the night before.

You had a great time. The sex was hot. He’s hot.

It all happened so fast. And now you’re starting to have that classic worry: Did I give it away too soon? 

Even in the modern world it’s common for women to have this feeling of anxiety after sleeping with a guy too quickly. Maybe you’re worried about he’ll lose respect you, or you want to make sure you don’t attached to him BEFORE you know whether he sees you two as a serious thing. Maybe it all just happened in the heat of the moment and you want to slow down next time before you jump into having regular sex.

Relax. Sex is to be enjoyed, not something to be constantly agonized over.

In this week’s video, I show exactly what to do next if you feel like you’ve slept with a guy too quickly, and reveal a golden line you can say to him if you want to slow things down that will make him EVEN MORE attracted to you and send his respect for you through the roof.

Remember: there’s no conflict between having a fun sex life and being high value.

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81 Replies to “Did You Sleep With Him Too Fast?”

  • I love your advice. I think I may have found a suitable candidate, so I plan to relisten to my previous videos over the next few weeks. #Mathew can get me where I want to be

  • This is really going to help me. I really like this guy. Going to meet him 3rd time today. He has shown lot of intrest in me and I am very much attracted to him. But I want to make it very clear to him that I wouldn’t feel comfortable having sex with him, without knowing where this relationship is going towards. But at the same time I do not want to push him away.

  • I love your talks and i know with the various tips and coaching am better and smarter in te dating scene


  • In theory, this seems like it would work. But if you’ve only seen the guy for 3 weeks and slept with him sooner than you usually do, now bringing up, “this isn’t what I normally do without knowing what direction this is going”. That is the classic line that scares guys away, is it not? “Where is this going?” I would think most guys would hear,” I’m not going to have more sex with you until I know what direction this is going” as being pushed into a relationship and then run the other way. Matthew, please advise. I just think the tactic you advise could backfire terribly. Let me know your thoughts. -Darri

    1. The wording that Matthew uses is if Im not sure where its going etc…not asking the person directly “where is this going’? which can put a person on the defensive…but also in the new book he had scripts to ask “what’s you intention”? which was asked of him and the follow up was classic…which again doesn’t put the man on the defensive ( I remember Matthew saying that it first alarmed him but the follow up put him at ease and set a standard and more respect in his eyes)

  • Matt I feel you have held my hand & heart through out the last year since discovering your spot on common sense wise advise & helped me to find the real me that was hiding behind rejection hurt betrayal & low confidence in myself. The butterfly who flys after her wings have been damaged I was gutted after buying ticket I wasn’t able to attend London seminar (terminal illness) next time for sure so I can give you a one size fits all HUG :) thanku to an old soul for inspiring my heart to feel & accept again love & peace Helly x

  • Good video, thanks Matt, quick question? Please tell me how to avoid the emotionally unavailable men? Its obviously something that I do, lol Yvonne xx

  • Love this video. It speaks volume yet it’s very enduring. However, I must add, if a woman has standards and thinks of having sex too soon as a regret, just don’t do it. Living with regret is a huge load to carry and takes away the fun you just experienced with someone you’re obviously attracted to. It’s not a regret, it’s just a bad decision or a good decision at the wrong time. Just my thoughts…

  • Love this video! Had a very recent experience similar to this. And you’re so right, we can reset your boundaries. When I did, he was all over it. :-)

    Just my 2 – cents: I like videos that are short and to the point. I like to watch your 5 – min clips over and over. Your long videos are quite painful to watch and I usually end up watching just halfway through. I’m sure they’re great videos but they just don’t fit well with busy professionals like myself. I’d like to be able to listen to your short clips while I’m getting ready for work, having a coffee or on a little break. I’m sure there are those women who share the same sentiments so I really really appreciate it when you try to keep your videos short and sweet. Cheers!

  • Thank you, thank you, thank you Matt!

    Great video!

    I’ve just starting dating a lovely guy and after 2 weeks of dating (3 fun dates total after our initial first meeting), it felt right to go to the next step of sleeping together.

    It was great and he treated me with so much respect and love. However I have to admit that the day after, I felt much anxiety and fear of being judged or disrespected by him.

    Anyway your point is well taken and I think it’s great advice for women to own their actions and feel good about themselves and sex.

    p.s. your coaching videos have been so helpful for me through this initial early stage of dating. I’ve learnt so much about how men really think and feel and how taking the high value road will always win.

    thank you

  • Hi Matt been seeing a great man for 10 months its great in many ways we have had a few conversations about commitment he always reminds “Im not ready for that level” but he tells me he loves me…which i havent said back to him…but told him he can rock my world…so he knows but just not said it…we have grown closer and he admits that – he was hurt very bad by an ex-wife she cheated and had a baby with another man he was hurt we had a good talk about it and I feel he just has issues with moving forward we’ve tried to cut it off several times during this year and one of us always comes back ….even if we have seen other people – im so confused and dont know which way to go and all your advice seems to be good but im just worried about wasting my time on this one but hes got me hooked and I really feel in my heart …not just saying this that we have a connection and it will work out one day even a dear male friend i have that i console in tells me he will see us at the alter one day…but then somedays tells me not to waste my time…i dong know what to think…i feel hes doing a reverse get the girl on me sometimes and just dont know where to go with it all – I do very much care for him and we have an explosive relationship on one level (like no other before & hes said the same to me) Im lost in all this and feel i need to make a drastic move in one direction and stick to it this video i just watched above made me think for the first time there may be hope for both of us in this either it will stand the test or fail either way something needs to happen and its time going on 1 year in January we’ve been doing all this – Angela

  • Hello Matthew,
    I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month and after the third date we slept together. It’s a bit different from what you might think because I’m still a virgin- he knows this. I did enjoy my time and followed the advice, but I think I might have offended him or confused him and now he’s not really talking to me like how he used to. This guy has done nothing but be sweet and awesome and I would like to know what I could do to explain to him what I meant and want (take it a bit slowly) without sounding desperate or too detached.
    Thank you. Would greatly appreciate your help.

  • Love Love Love this video!! Thank you for making me feel better about owning what I did and what to say to slow it down between us!! You are the Best!!

  • Hi Matthew,

    Thank you so much for your advice in this video. I loved the line that you gave in this video, and I will definitely be using it the next time I see this guy.

    I’m a little conflicted because, before I went ahead and got physical with this guy, I actually told him that I don’t get physical when I’m just getting to know someone, and then proceeded to go against my own standard.

    The problem in this situation is, not only did I go back on my standards, but I went back on my standards after I told this guy that I had them, and thanked him in advance for respecting them! Therefore, I’m worried that this guy is either going to think I’m a bipolar sex fiend, or that I’m insecure and couldn’t stick to my own standards. He even expressed that he was surprised that things went so far, right after I made myself out to be a prude.

    How can I recover from THAT? Can I still use the same line?

    Thank you, and best wishes.

  • @Madison, curious to know how that worked out for you? I am in a similar situation. Matthew hussey, If you want to respond to hers or my comment and give your input on that scenario, that would be helpful!

  • What if you thought you had a non-physical attraction and you slept together too soon. Then aside from a few texts back and forth he stopped reaching out. I haven’t reached out to him either but it’s been 3-4 days.

  • Hi Matthew, it’s taken me years to find a guy. We had a lot of fun on our first night. I did own it, regretted nothing. But haven’t seen him since as he said he’d injured himself and now has flu. He still talks the talk, very complimentary. Surely he wouldn’t just play me ? It’s been two weeks since .

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