Did You Sleep With Him Too Fast?

You’re in bed with a guy.

It’s the morning after the night before.

You had a great time. The sex was hot. He’s hot.

It all happened so fast. And now you’re starting to have that classic worry: Did I give it away too soon? 

Even in the modern world it’s common for women to have this feeling of anxiety after sleeping with a guy too quickly. Maybe you’re worried about he’ll lose respect you, or you want to make sure you don’t attached to him BEFORE you know whether he sees you two as a serious thing. Maybe it all just happened in the heat of the moment and you want to slow down next time before you jump into having regular sex.

Relax. Sex is to be enjoyed, not something to be constantly agonized over.

In this week’s video, I show exactly what to do next if you feel like you’ve slept with a guy too quickly, and reveal a golden line you can say to him if you want to slow things down that will make him EVEN MORE attracted to you and send his respect for you through the roof.

Remember: there’s no conflict between having a fun sex life and being high value.

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81 Replies to “Did You Sleep With Him Too Fast?”

  • “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” – Mr Winston Churchill. Whatever state you’re in, or perceive you are in, it doesn’t matter: identify something you can give, and do it. Me… accident, I couldn’t walk much, look down, (functionally quite restricted) or drive for a time (7 months or so), but I could ring my friends on their birthday and sing, really sing, Happy Birthday for them (close friends, old friends, family, slightly estranged friends). Sing my best with all the love I have inside of me, and wish them a great year ahead. They were stoked. Bonus, I stayed connected and reignited connections in a meaningful way, whilst restricted and struggling with my own situation, and sometimes fearing for my future. I bet you can think of something you can give,from what you’re got, a platform to give it from. Joy-making; life-shaping.

    1. Whoops, my share above was meant for Matt’s, 5 ways to enjoy being single video with Louis Howse. Worth the watch, thanks guys, x.

  • Matt,

    Can’t thank you enough for this video – I did exactly this ‘slept with him too skin’s. I am owning it and don’t regret a minute of it but now I know what to say to him next time! Perfect solution as I was racking my brains… I think that line is sassy,sexy and empowering for a guy to hear. At the same time I know he will be back for more . Keep up the good work for us all girls out there. Debs x

  • Really liked this video.
    It’s something that we all… as a girl could relate to.
    Thank you Mathew, I think you are great. I hope you are as nice guy as you appear to be in all of your videos.

  • Love you Matt! Always such common sense advice. i don’t think I’ll be making this mistake. It’s been about 3 years since my last encounter as it’s hard to find quality, single men in their 50s where I live but you have rekindled my faith in the possibility :). Here’s to me shagging someone too soon! Lol!


  • So helpful. Thank you!! I can’t wait to use this and assert my standard while still owning what already happened

  • Love it! I appreciate the idea of owning your actions and not regretting anything and still being able to assert a standard at any time during the development of a budding relationship. Thank you, Matt.

  • Most of the guys that i meet only seem to want sex and some want me on a more serious level, why is this, is it me or them? Thank you
    Kate xx

  • Hi Matthew,

    First off I just want to say that I’m SO glad I found your channel. You are just incredible and your advice is so so good.
    I have a question- this has really been bothering me and it’s so frustrating I just had to put this comment out there even though the chance of you actually replying is very small.
    So there’s this guy I met online. We met up and we really hit it off. In my eyes he was just PERFECT- handsome, sweet, good morals, all in 1 package. After we met up he asked for my number and texted me almost every single day the following week. Then we met up a second time, and that didn’t go so well- we just didn’t click as well as we did before.
    A couple of days after that he offered to help me with something and we agreed to meet up at a certain time. He then texted me when we were supposed to meet and told me he couldn’t have texted me earlier because his phone died, and that something urgent came up and he can’t come. He never apologized and never tried to make it up to me. He hasn’t texted me since then and I’ve not contacted him since either.
    I don’t know what this means because I really felt like I was receiving signals from him that indicated that he’s intrested. He’d poke me jokingly, touch my arm when we’d talk, stand close to me, etc. But I don’t know what changed. I really really like him… But I feel like he’s in the wrong here since he stood me up and didn’t even bother to apologize. What should I do? Do you think he was ever interested or was he just playing?

    Thank you and it would be so amazing if you’d answer!

    1. Ok Anna, if u wrote this here, that means u got too emotionally invested in him.

      For the way u write about him, after the 2nd date something happens to both of u. It seems to me u messed up in the 2nd date in terms of standards or in a scarcity mindset. Since u described him as “PERFECT”, that might triggered the “I should keep this guy around cuz he is a keeper” mindset, and then ur “true personality” didn’t come up, making u less atractive in his eyes. (maybe that’s why u have the feeling u didn’t click this time).

      So, to sum up, Was he insterested? Yeap, definitly (poking, touching, texting u a lot). So he then:
      a)Somehow lost insterested during the 2nd date and bellowed u to a NON Relationship potencial.

      b)Maybe something really bad happens to him or to his circle of friends/family, so he has all his atention focus in that subject.

      -To me, if the former is the case, just move on, next him unless u only want a Friends with Benefits relationship or a similar category. The fact that u didn’t have a great second date, plus in terms of standards he also didn’t apologize to u, u will hand down too much power trying to reaching him out.

      -If the latter is the case, just call him and ask him what really happened to him (since u really like him, u should be truly worried for him, instead of just waiting for an apology), and then wait (in a proactive way: focus on ur hobbies and job, keep going out with ur friends, flirt with other guys) for him to see the light of whatever he is passing through.

      Hope that helps Anna!

  • I’ve actually never had a one night stand. I tend to have more trouble on the front end of this. Men have been very persuasive for me to come home with them. I do what you teach. I express my desire and I state my standards and then I inspire him to meet up with me later. I then have had men get very assertive and say that “I am too guarded and that I need to ease up and not let the men of my past keep me scared.” Or they threaten “I could meet my future wife tomorrow and you would have missed your chance with me.”

    I know of course that these men are complete feces but would this be apparent had I not said no?

    I now have been thinking of having a one night stand (on my own terms). How can I make sure that I am not sleeping with one of these jerks if I am saying yes to the offer?

  • Thank you. That’s just what I needed to hear and understand. Your wisdom not only helps me, but helps me help my daughter as well! You are wise beyond your years.

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