Last year I found myself on camera for a TV show – on one of the biggest stages I’d ever been on – in front of a live studio audience…
This clip is going to ‘inoculate’ you for life and have you ready should anyone ever try to embarrass you in front of others.
As a compliment to this video, get the guide that everyone’s been going crazy about…
Click here for my brother’s expose ‘The First Five Minutes’ >>
Hi Matt,
WOW! I like this video…love the way situation was handled. Such strength and composure very NICE. Thank you :0)
What I would love to see is a video like this, but in real life. :)
You having a conversation around a group of people you’re not familiar with. You having a conversation with a group of people you WISH to connect with.
I’ve always wanted to see how other people navigate through those situations, and I’d love to see your take on it.
It would be a hard one to engineer – maybe we need Matt to have a camera hidden on him when he goes into meetings ;)
All best Emily,
Steve x
Yes I liked learning how to navagite negative people
This was a great video, and it had really good advice on it. Thank you for making and posting it!
By the way, is there a reason you referred to “Ready for Love” as a “horrible” or “dumb” reality show? Not necessarily disagreeing (or agreeing) with you, but I’m just a little curious if Eva Longoria, who likely put a lot of work into making a show that helped you become more internationally renowned, would agree. (What do producers and other participants think of their shows that have been cancelled? Networks often don’t give shows enough of a chance sometimes. e.g. Family Guy was a great show that the network cancelled…but luckily brought back years later.)
Thanks again for the video/advice!
Before any sticklers for grammar say anything, please feel free to take out the word “often” in the second paragraph of my comment in the parenthesis. :)
Hi Matt,
I thought this was very useful. I deal with conflict on a daily level and I would like to handle myself better.
The dynamic there in that scene is so clear and a lot of people deal with critique by going into the offensive mode including me if I’m not on top of the world.
Helle :-)
Thanks Helle,
Hope this helped give you some tools to practice. Here’s hoping Matt does more video blogs on these topics – I’m loving them!
Steve x
Hi Matt
Great clip!
I can’t say that I always act with so much calm and poise though I do think that I am much better at it than I was when I was younger. The best training ground I received for being able to keep my emotions in check was working for 3 years in corporate and personal bankruptcy. Clients are often highly emotional, knowing that there business is going under, and so, are usually very defensive. I still remember the first time that I was told to f*** off by a someone that needed to pay their debts. I managed to stay calm and get the other person to calm down in order to reach some resolution.
Now I work as a university lecturer and being only a few years older than my 20 year old students, I can be on the receiving end of some serious attitude. The ability to take a breath before replying calmly really irritates some students. I will be bookmarking this page as a reminder.
Please keep posting on related topics.
Definitely Elka, I’ve taught undergrads as well so I know what it’s like when you have to think on your feet!
Thanks,
Steve x
Wow! Love this video!! Love the way you were so centered and had the right answer.
That situation really reminds myself having to face so many people specially older ones as I started to teach at a such young age. I teach English as a second language and I was just 15 when I started! Thank God I was able to manage all those “doubtful looks” at me and 20 years later I can say for sure that all my students do respect and love me.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
Xoxo
Hey Patricia,
Teaching is a great place to use these skills. I’ve taught university students and find it really helpful to work on these kinds of skills when you start out and need to portray confidence and be assured.
All best,
Steve x
Oh my goodness! This video was so helpful! I would love it if you would talk more about how you keep your emotional center in situations like this and what your preparation process is – you already had something in mind that would come up as a reaction to what you were planning to say to this woman. What kinds of behaviors in her did you pay attention to earlier when you considered how the dynamic of a touchy subject like defensiveness would be received and how did you determine the best approach to working through the conflict? The clip was full of witty comebacks, but I can’t imagine they showed the whole of the conversation.
They did show it, believe me Felicia I was there! I think the key Matt realised was to be comfortable with pauses and let the woman trip herself up on her own words. He just came from the frame of “I’m going to try and help and not be hurtful or get personal” – he kept focused on the issue instead of rising to the bait and trying to justify himself.
Thanks!
Steve x
Hi Matt, yes I’ve enjoyed this video!
It’s very useful to see these principles actually put into actions and it’s also easier for us to take example from these scenes as they happen as opposed to just hear or read about these ideas, I think it sticks better into your mind when you see teachings put into action!
For different topics, it would be interesting to get more knowledgable and see examples of how to turnaround a one to one conversation with someone you’d like to attract and not fall into the easy path of having a ‘what do you do?’ type of conversation that often ends in a dead path! That’s really in everyday life, not just with love interests but with new people you meet in general.
Thanks
Elisa
Hey Elisa,
We’ve got a few articles on having better conversations on the blog already, so do check those out if you want more on attractive/engaging date conversations. Perhaps we can also convince Matt to do one in his weekly video some time soon too.
Thanks,
Steve x
Hi Matt to be honest with you,stuff like this is super important to me because this subject is really one of the things i’m really trying to get better at,so Please Keep Giving Us Contents Like THIS ONE !People can be very mean and i want to react in the most classy and confident way so please keep doing this.Thank YOU for everything
Thanks Alexia, Matt’s really on a roll this week! x
i really loved the new video behind the curtain,these things teach so much for our life.please do more of that teaching.it`s so interesting….
and it shows,that you are a human being as well…:) and it`s giving hope for everybody…..
Thanks Bettina – hopefully I can keep Matt on this path for a while now we’ve got him there ;)
Hy Matt
Thank you very much for the video. It is very helpful! I would love to hear more of your opinion and experiences on this topic. Especially on how to deal with anger, when being hurt or disrespected by someone close. As you say, there are ways of how deal more appropriate in these kind of situations. But sometimes it is just hard to stay calm and control emotions…
Thanking you in anticipation
Alex
I’ll pass your suggestions onto Matt, Alex. Glad you find this material as useful as I did!
Steve x
I’m so excited that you’re finally coming out with videos aimed towards other areas in life involving human behavior. It’s because of you and your booo that i had even begun interested in learning more about these topics so thank you so. Much. :)
Andrea
Thanks Andrea!
Steve x
Fab Matt,
More of this please :)
I too do not relish any form of confrontation. I tend to develop brain freeze and get frustrated afterwards thinking of what I could’ve/should’ve said.
A proud moment for me was when I was involved in a debate about a topic I had addressed to benefit my neighbours and myself. This debate pretty much turned into a personal pop at myself. One person, who pretty much ‘bull dozed’ the meeting I had arranged, dug a whole for herself when I turned to her in the group and told her outright that ‘I felt’ she was now having a personal pop at me. She stuttered and stammered a bit in front of the others and to be honest I don’t remember much of what she said as she continued to spout forth (and as you commented on in your video)verbally trip her true self up. I didn’t respond with any body language and spoke in a cool, calm manner. Completely surprised myself.
I will definitely show your video to my teenage daughter and hopefully she’ll adopt your advice too.
Many thanks,
Love and hugs
J
Awesome Janie – great to hear you used this to your advantage.
Steve x
Thank you! This is was extremely helpful for myself as I struggle with how to deal with conflict. I often go red, and shutdown. This allows me to understand a step-by-step process that I can try to put into action …and begin practicing until it becomes my natural response. Thank you Matt!
I’ve always found confrontation uncomfortable and something I’ve had to learn to deal with, so this is really practical for me too. Keep at it Roses x
Hi Matt,
thank you for making this video for us. I really enjoyed watching it. I think this type of content could be useful in many areas of our lives.
Reacting to difficult situations in a strong and authentic way is a challenge for many people (myself included). So I’d like to see more videos like this!
Thank you
Me too! x
Yes, this was *extremely* helpful. More like this, please!!
My favorite part: “… studio (apartment). Let’s go to camera 2!” :) I love how playful and funny you are even within the context of these powerful lessons. This material is incredibly useful, but you still keep it light and fun, which makes it *lots* easier for me to engage with. Thank you, Matt and Jameson! I look forward to the Sunday videos every week :)
Thanks Darcy – will pass the great feedback onto Matt and Jameson.
Steve x
I remember watching this and I loved your reaction. You reacted with such class and maturity, which already proves that your age has no effect on your expertise. This is a great lesson because I know sometimes I can react emotionally and go on explaining myself when I should have more confidence. Thank you Matt!
Yes, remaining unemotional and being above the fray helps wonders. You can use emotion to communicate, as long as you are in control of it and use to good effect without flying off the handle.
Take care Paula,
Steve x
Thanks for the reply Steve!! xo
Ugh, amazing!! Love this! Sooo useful.
confrontation makes my legs feel like jelly. Having techniques to “take into the ring” that is everyday situations in life is incredibly helpful, especially about how to keep your personal power in a classy way, and not get flustered.
Definitely hoping you create more content in this realm, thanks!
Thanks Erin! The best thing I learnt in this was to treat it like exposure therapy. Just put yourself gradually in more and more conflict situations and try to remain calm and collected, and you’ll start to get much better at it. Also, don’t let your emotions take over and slow down.
Thanks,
Steve x
hi ! i totally agree with you ! i would have reacted in the same manner !
I would have tried – but definitely wouldn’t have been as cool and calm as Matt was!