How To Be Sexier And Smarter At The Same Time

Knowledge is one of the most attractive things we can have.

Sometimes knowledge comes in the form of what we know, other times in the form of things we can do and skills we have.

We live in a world where it’s become more necessary than ever to have eclectic knowledge and diverse skillsets.

Men are running out of ways to feel special

It’s not enough that we make money or have status, because women today already have these things.

We have to work a little harder to be interesting

We cannot afford NOT to be a Renaissance man or woman with a variety of skillsets, art forms and knowledge bases.

Knowledge and skill is a good look on anyone – as is curiosity which inevitably leads us to these things.

And attraction is sustained for longer periods of time when you’re able to keep surprising your partner.


Go and learn about or study something that you have no real need for. Just do something new.

When you’ve decided, leave a comment about the thing you’ve picked. Then come back and leave another at the end of the week to let me know how you’ve gotten on! Do you feel more interesting? Do you have a story because of it?

Be sure to let me know as you’ll be giving me ideas for what I can go on to do next myself!

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563 Replies to “How To Be Sexier And Smarter At The Same Time”

  • Hey Matthew you’re a Gemini right? I’m a Gemini too… Gemini’s LOVE being Renaissance people to us variety is fascinating. I have been on dates with about 10 men in the las 6 weeks ( I was in Paris and the men are very forward there). Honestly from my personal life- in friendships and making new contacts diversity and range are good, but from my recent dating i’ve found men to not all be fascinated in several things or interested in a multi-faceted person. Sometimes the more facets you have to your personality the less understood you can be. Does that make sense? I’ve found men see one aspect in me they can relate to and then they presume we’re perfect together. (In fact the only guy I was able to relate to was another Gemini.. yes i’m a hippy). I’m not saying don’t develop yourself as a person, I’m all for that, I feel everyone should be the best them, however I really like your videos about core confidence more. This is coming from someone who speaks 4 languages, and has too many hobbies to list…and still had/recovering from a lot of neediness and insecurity issues when it comes to relationships. So much advice out there is about changing the superficial things, I really love your videos but it would be great to see more about core confidence!! Keep rocking that mandarin fellow Gemini Hussey

  • You have the perfect timing sometimes, Matt. We’d be awesome friends if you stayed in Chicago for a bit lol. I was just sucked into the Freakonomics documentary last Sunday and deciding I need to spend more time at the library learning about Economy and language. (You were speaking Mandarin in the video, correct?) You remind me of that scene in Clueless where Cher tells Ty she has to learn new vocabulary words as well as do the buns of steel workout so she’s improving her mind and body. I’ll be back once I’ve started to utilize one of my city’s libraries.

    Happy Sunday!

  • I was always charmed by smart man :) I should work as well a little harder and find time to learn always about something new!

    Thank you Matt!!!

  • Hey Matt you are so right! I think that an interested person is interesting. Your videos are so inspirational. I have been out of the dating loop for a while and am finding your insights on how to get a guy very helpful. Thank you so much.


  • Already being a language student and majoring in French I possibly would want to go to a totally different direction which is dancing. Social dancing is what I meant with that… Waltz, Rumba + Salsa…Even though I do not have a partner to learn with or to dance with, I still decided to at first start teaching those dances to myself with a little help of tutorials on Youtube. Missing partner was the only con I could think of when I was considering learning to dance socially as something new to learn this week. But it’s doable so why the heck not. Actually, I think with the little cheeky headstart of having learned the steps by myself, it’d be so much more easier to actually learn it or dance with a guy. The other thing I’ve always been fascinated about is winery and le monde d’un bon vin. It probably has something to do with me being a French student and having lived in France. So yeah, 2 new things to learn… Getting excited?? Are you all too for you challenges?

  • I can not agree with you more Matthew. Knowledge is very attractive. in my opinion it is more attractive then someones outer appearance, for example I dated this guy really good looking, however he was dumber then a box of rocks, and never had anything interesting to talk about (I sound shallow, I know)
    I absolutely love learning about new things even to a point where a subject of interest can become a bit obsessive with me.
    The majority of my friends ask me why I even bother with half the things I read about or study because it has nothing to do with my “normal” everyday life: example I studied the Latin language (not Spanish) the extinct language. no one even speaks this language anymore and I thus who do I communicate this to?? no one???
    So why then did I bother??? because knowledge is true beauty. and I love love love it!!!
    By the way, you said you were learning about The Reformation, were you speaking of the 16th century Protestant Reformation??? if you were may I say that is a very interesting subject.
    From one knowledge seeker to another, Have a great day :-)

  • Knowledge is wonderful – even more so if you can show how that knowledge has enhanced your life and how it’s made you a better person. Like you said, it’s showing that you’re growing and expanding. I feel like if I stay open to growth opportunities, I will attract the same type of people in my life.

    By the way, I read “Confidence Secrets” in which you list techniques for improving confidence. One of the techniques you mentioned was turning fear into excitement and you used the example of a roller coaster ride. What’s amazing is that I had the same realization the day before coming across what you had written! I had been paralyzed and stuck in fear about something when the thought occurred to me that instead of imagining the worse case scenario, I could view the situation with excitement – ask myself “what if the very BEST outcome occurred?”. It’s a whole different energy then feeling paralyzed. Anyway, thank you for what you wrote – it was extremely encouraging to know that I’m on the right path!


  • I am going to learn this coming year from september to september 2014 a new language, and practice a new skill. Facing the things that I have postponed so far, get rid of my shyness to be afraid to ask for a guy his name or something else, even if I talk to him the whole time or lie next to him, because I like a person, what I do is trying to impress him unconsciously by talking too much then necessary, because I get soo excited of him, but totally forget because I am shy to ask for his personal information.
    That same problem have I with a boss, with a director, with people in power or with my manager. I am going to force myself this year to talk to these people especially when they are my boss, they sometimes thinks that I don’t like them, but because of my culture I was taught to respect my boss and my manager. But actually it is my shyness, and at the same time I perform much better when I don’t interact directly with my boss or my manager.
    This year I am going to overcome this by going to sit next to them at a table, the bigger the boss, the nearer I am going to sit and talk to them. Like Michelle Obama said she is tired to be afraid all of the times, and decided to support her husband with his running for the president election. Her comment keeps repeating in my head.
    I am tired of the old me, I am going to learn to be the new me, thanks to your lead by example.

  • I am really enjoying this series of videos, thanks Matthew!

    I have a topic suggestion… Are you interested in learning more about pure foods? Have you ever been curious about olive oil and what makes it extra virgin? How do select fresh extra virgin olive oil? Where is the best olive oil from and how can you actually get it?

    I just did a tasting event for Pylos Pressed, pure 100% Greek extra virgin olive oil, and think this is a great conversation topic considering olive oil, food fraud and the health benefits of the Mediterranean Diet are a hot topic.

    Check out the Kickstarter Project called Pylos Pressed at this web link (copy and paste it into your web browser if you need to) to learn more, get behind the idea and pre-order for the upcoming harvest season:

  • Hiya Matt, i already cook and bake but i think i might try cooking some foregin recipes:
    -Japanese: Tiger roll sushi
    -Greek: Aubergine and tahini dip
    -Belgian: Curried muscles
    -Scandinavian: Prawn and plaice sandwiches

    I have not decided which yet but they all sound like good ideas to me :)

  • Ni hao! My favorite animal is the Bengal tiger, and i originally liked it because of reading Life of Pi when i was in high school. So I actually researched it. learning Chinese too! I could have used this two days ago! Ahhh..

  • I took my comments about your video here, since you suggested that Matthew!
    I first have to say that I LOVED your book ‘Get The Guy’ and that it was so awesome to read, and I’ve love your videos! Every video is full of great advice, and while I’m still beginning of using that advice, I still really value it!
    On this video, I love this idea of learning! I haven’t really learned any new things since school, so this is great motivation for me, to go out there and learn something!

  • Hey Matt,
    I am a mind of useless information, I am the Rain Man in social gatherings.
    So today, for my work, I gained a greater understanding of the volatility of ETFs when used by Joe Public, just hope going forward I don’t get rumbled by mixing my ETFs with EFT.

  • Wow! I did NOT expect you to speak Mandarin. Well done! Putting me to shame. How long have you studied? I’ve been at it for years and I’m Chinese (ABC)! Anyway, thought you might want to check this out to learn a little about Chinese calligraphy (also helpful with learning the order of strokes if you’re learning how to write characters).

  • Thank you for humoring me. I needed that. Actually, I love love love your videos! You are adorable. Anytime you send a video, I get excited and it always puts a smile on my face.
    adore you

  • Hey Matt!

    Good point you have. Many of the “game Literature” also suggests learning a bit of everything to be able to have more interesting conversations, but here’s my struggle:

    What if the next language i want to lear is… C++? :p

    what if i am so passionate about a lot of technical stuff that i definetely want to read and have more knowledge about, but it is boring to almost every person on the planet?

    Do i have to incorporate knowledge that will appeal to most people? Or just interact with people that might share my similar passions?

  • Love it Matthew!!! I have been wanting to learn Spanish because everyone always ask me If I speak Spanish due to my dark hair and brown eyes. So Now I can surprise them and say yes….. I do know a few phases to get started wish me Luck!!!

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