Are you stuck comparing everyone you meet to an ex who felt like “the one”? In this new video, you’ll learn why we hold on to past relationships, and discover a surprising truth about closure that might just change how you see your breakup.
If you’ve ever felt like no one measures up to the chemistry or excitement you had before, this is a must-watch. A powerful mindset shift I share will help you (finally!) let go of the fantasy and open yourself up to the love you truly deserve.
Thanks so so so much Matthew for that video. I’ve been listening to episodes of your Love Life podcast all weekend to help me with my recently broken heart. They have been full of helpful insights from yourself, the lovely Audrey and Stephen.
But this video has helped on a very specific level as I’ve been having trouble moving on from the man who broke up with me in April. I’d believed he’d be my next husband. The chemistry was earth shattering and we melded ourselves into each other, saying we wanted to live our lives together etc etc. Then after 11 blissful weeks he suddenly ended it. No real reasons given at all. No explanation. Just a cold hard discard. I’ve been fully shattered and have had trouble with moving on and healing.
It’s helpful to now regard him as a four seasons hotel from a summer holiday. It’s a helpful metaphor.
Your other lessons in the video were also very helpful.
When you’ve had a loveless marriage for decades and then you start to date again, and you meet someone and it feels fantastic, you think it’s your next chapter. Then when it ends you think that your love life is therefore bound to be fully over.
Thanks for the hopefulness and compassion in your video. Thanks for allowing me to hope for something even better. It’s one I will replay and replay.
Kym, Sydney Australia
Thank you Matthew. It was amazing and then he blew me off. It was over a year ago. He is back telling me that he loves me and that we belong together. Which I did ( do) believe it true. We had ( and now still have ) an amazing connection emotionally and physically. Here’s the kicker… he is back with the girlfriend before me – living with her. But still texting and sexting me… I’m out on dates trying to find someone else but…. He says he’s done. He’s told her and he’s moving out…. That I’ve heard for months. Stupid me
Hi Kym, I can def relate having gone through something very similar, also ending in April… When she just “walked out”, but still wanted contact, which I cut-off completely. Love this clip as well! And funny thing is that we bonded over some of MH’s podcast appearances (loved the Jay Shetty one!).
Anyway, just thought I’d reach out as someone who knows very well what you are going through, and looks like we are not that far away (Im in New Zealand).
Hope you are doing better, and it would be great to chat if you are up for it!
Matt, this is possibly the most incredible self help video of all time. If I were in this situation, it would be music to my ears. But I:ve been following you for so long that I don’t have these issues anymore. Happy days, maestro! P.S. do you think the ringing in your ears could have been from the night clubs when you were a teenager, and all you experienced there? Xox
This video was worth 10 yrs of therapy
Absolutely brilliant
It the basic premise
What I call the Matthew Mantra
The right person is the one that chooses you
This video was worth 10 yrs of therapy
Absolutely brilliant
Hi Matthew ~
It took me awhile to realize this but his rejection of me IS closure. Would have, should have, and could have all belong in the past. I am enough!! Thank you!!
❤️
Thank you Matthew, I loved your wisdom! It arrived at just the right moment. I needed it so deeply.
You are so generous in your giving. Even if I cannot afford your full courses, I can still buy bits and pieces of your advice and some lessons. I needed this so much! I’ll keep listening to this over and over. It is a balm for my heart. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart
Mathew, Mathew, once again you have knocked it out of the ball park for anyone struggling with rejection & heartbreak! Your concepts and idea’s have given me a new roadmap to feeling better. We split, well he left, the relationship, in late April (ugh it’s been 6 weeks) & my feelings/moods surrounding it are like a yo-yo! But, your video’s, podcasts, your book, all help soften the edges & help push me thru with a little progress daily.
I could go on and on, but what I really want to say “THANK YOU”
I am forever grateful ❤️
Thank you, this was amazing!
Thank you Matthew. This was brilliant and really resonated with the way I am currently feeling. I have been searching for closure, living in a fantasy world of how wonderful our life could have been and unable to let go without that closure. I realize that I now don’t need that closure. After 7 years he didn’t choose me. He chose someone else and I now realize that was not my fault and I had no control over that. He was a beautiful marathon but I still have many more marathons to run. Thank you
Exactly my story. It’s so hard and I’m still crying myself to sleep after 7
months. We will get there and as Mathew says, who knows what’s around the corner. ❤️
The only way I am not super pining for the horrible ex-narcissist, aged 76, is that he died!!!!! This way I cannot go back for another round of trauma bonding!! I do think about him occasionally, but I do not obsess as I did when he was alive! Finally!!! I had already mourned for the fantasy relationship that was never going to happen.
I am not heartless: I tried to help Bob with his health, but he would not listen. He did nothing positive for his health and dies of cancer: a lifetime of chain smoking, an alcoholic, a porn addict, self-described cross-dresser, someone who ignored his doctors’ advice……he ate Wonderbread , hot dogs and Campbell’s soup til the end, and no exercise! The opposite of my lifestyle! I did my best with him, but he was stubborn til the end. I am so glad that the silent treatments are over for good!!!
Hi Mathew, I just cried through my lunch but it’s all good really. I have been broken hearted for over 2 yrs and actually had a date this weekend. He was lovely but I spent the whole date looking at how he wasn’t as tall/fit/dynamic/etc as my ex. I am still so sad about the past and I know I am letting impact on my future. But your words today have really helped me get a bit more perspective. And I have forgotten the bad bits so I need to re-visit my journal, where I wrote down how bad I was feeling when I was actually IN the relationship! He was a four star hotel and I knew it couldn’t really fulfil me but it hurts so much even still. This new guy wants to see me again. He is kind and fun to be around. I will try not to compare and I’m taking it slow but I feel I am capable of moving away from the past at last Thank you.
I most certainly feel like our relationship was never given enough time to develop. It feels like there was so much more to learn and discover about each other but he just said no, he’s not giving it more time and he had to let me go. One of the hardest parts is that I chose him every single day and he decided to not choose me.
Speechless. ♥️
But someone is going to be living at the four season’s. And it’s not going to be me.
Your blog is a testament to your dedication to your craft. Your commitment to excellence is evident in every aspect of your writing. Thank you for being such a positive influence in the online community.
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My ex-boyfriend Bertrand me behind my back. To this girl I know his name is Chris Hover he was working with her in Siren. I was engaged to Chris Hover but get this he broke the engagement off on my birthday