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Everything You Know About Attraction is Wrong

Maybe it’s happened to you before: you knew you kind of liked a guy, but then he did one special move that made your heart do a triple back flip – now you are crazy about him.

How does this happen??

It’s not about fancy tricks, it’s about understanding this secret of deep, lasting attraction…

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"9 Texts No Man Can Resist"

549 Replies to “Everything You Know About Attraction is Wrong”

  • The concept of microattractions is THE THING! They appear tiny but are huge.

    I’m dating a guy who
    1. went with me (drove 200 km in rain) to another city to see a dance performance I’d been dreaming of seeing – although it wasn’t really his thing …
    2. buys me goat cheese and cashew nuts because he knows I love them …
    3. asks for my opinion and advise
    4. helps me look at my problems from a different perspective – which helps me see a way out, a solution, hope, light
    5. took me to Lisbon on a 5-day holiday because he knew it was my dream destination …

    Thank you, Matt, for making me see these things more clearly :)
    Lots of love,

  • He asked me, “What motivates you?” I was completely honest about what motivates me in terms of career, with family/friends, and life in general. I felt a bit naked with the answer, but he told me that my response was very unique and extremely attractive.

  • One or the best messages that should be put across the world! So true the most gorgeous man can imegiately disgust me if he down talks to someone and the most average looking woman can shine a room with her caring or outgoing personality. .a little thing I was told I had that won my ex was how sensitive I am.
    And how I over think .. something j can’t stand in myself

  • I had been sort of seeing Carl for a couple months, we would go out walking twice a week in the evenings. One night we ran into each other at the grocery store and when I was at the check-out I noticed Carl with his basket waiting by the door for me so he could walk me to my car because it was dark outside and his first thought was to protect me and keep me safe. A year later we were married :)

  • When he wants to get involved in the things that matter to me (and he gets excited about it!) Like I volunteer with animals (yes it’s awesome) but he wanted to get involved and loved every second of it. It was very attractive and made us closer :)

  • When I am sad for my bad performance and standing in at the corner of the room.he came to me and told me I was doing well.
    When I am really rude to him ,he said nothing and listen to me.protect me when someone try to say bad stuffs.its really attractive when he says he loves his old things no matter how they are.its beautiful when you see him handling everything and talking amiably to others

  • So it was just the second date with this guy and we went back to his place. We were having a drink just talking about pointed out a couple of mannerisms I do and said how endearing he found them. It was that moment I realised that he was curious about every single detail to do with me. He saw past the exterior surface which everyone gets too see and found things even I didn’t notice were part of me.

  • It happened on the Christmas lunch at my friend’s. I’d never met my friend’s brother until this day.
    There were a small group of friends there and we were just chatting about movies. He then asked us whether we knew how many Mission Impossible movies were out. Since I haven’t seen them all, I just guessed. But his friend said a split second ahead of me “5, and the new one is just coming out”. My friend’s brother looked at me and said “yes, this is going to be the sixth”. His friend then jokingly commented “how come her 6 is better than mine?!” To which comment he just kept smiling at me.
    (And yes, he invited me to watch a movie together.)

  • We were driving home from our first date and a little baby possum was dazed and lost in the middle of the road, traffic was slowing down… and i panicked as he drove…he slowed down and let it pass in front of his suv, we looked at each other, i felt so thankful he did that, … that was one moment…there are many lol

  • Hi Mathew – this resonated with me and I’m delighted you are being this stream to your message. I think the confident mindset and levelling up your dating game is magnificent work but for me this was an area that needed some of your magic. Authenticity and allowing your humanity (imperfections) to shine. The Japanese call it WabiSabi -.its where the magic happens. But always balanced with standards!

  • A guy confessed to me that he was romantically interested in me. I said I didn’t feel that way. He said that he could “edit” his behavior arouond me and not bother with those feelings if I didn’t like them; we could just be friends. And he kept up being kind to me. His willingness to taylor his responses because I wasn’t interested made me fall for him.

  • There is this guy I had a couple of dates with before Christmas but we couldn’t meet up again because we both left the country for a couple of months so decided to see each other again once we would be back. So he called me last week, as soon as he was back in town, and we went on a date on Sunday. It was really nice, we took a walk and grabbed something to eat, we spent hours together, we spoke a lot, hugged and felt like the chemistry was there, even stronger than before.

    Something I can’t stop thinking of happened: my dad is sick, and he asked me how he was doing, so I ended up telling him how shocking it had been for me the day I saw my dad after a complicated surgery at the hospital, and how my life changed since, after feeling he looked so weak and vulnerable and it had to actually be me the one protecting him and no the other way around. As I was talking, I could see tears on his eyes and he gave me a long hug. That moment I thought ‘wow, I really like him, he’s so sensitive and sweet, I want to get to know him more’…

    But not sure this matters now, I haven’t heard much from him these days and he hasn’t tried to take me out again, maybe it’s too soon to assume anything or maybe I should make a move, I’m completely lost.

    Thanks Matthew

  • We were having lunch at a restaurant with our friends. While we were having fun and chatting, he suddenly stopped eating and said:”The inequality in this world hurts me.” None of us except him could notice the little boy who was collecting the garbage outside of the restaurant. He send the waiter for making him come to the restaurant. Long story short, he payed for the child’s meal. At that time I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with him.

  • I always have a soft spot for a man who shows that he will take care lf me. It’s not about how much money he makes or if he pays for every date. Some men I dated that truly touched my feelings are when they’re willing to drive me home, no matter what.

    I had a man who I traveled with, returned from the airport it was midnight, Sunday, and he drove me home though it’s very far away from his house. We’re both working on Monday.

    Then there was this guy who’s willing to go to a seafood place I suggested, which was 2 hours driving, then sent me home afterwards. He enjoyed the food and sent me home, though that place is nearer to his house.

    Recently there’s this charming, witty man. On our first date, lasted till around 1am. He asked me, “Do you want me to send you home or grab Uber?” i replied, “Up to you”. But he insisted, “I know it’s up to me, but what do you want?” I told him I wanted him to send me home… and he did. It was 1am, raining and he could just straightaway sleep but he got up and drove me home.

    In this era where Uber and other transportation apps exist, it feels so good and touching to know that the man you’re dating, who owns a car, shows that he truly care about you by sending you home. Or drive hundred miles for you :)

  • After helping him move, I stayed the night & next day as he went out as I stayed in bed he came back with breakfast with coffee, without even asking if I wanted it. he’d already bought dinner night before so this was an added bonus.
    The sweetest thing ever.

  • I was drawn to him when he took me to church and he was playing keyboards on his worship team. I fell for him at that moment, he never fell for me. Took 2 years to get over that broken heart…one-way micro moments are treacherous, indeed.

  • Beautiful video,
    Once I was chatting with a guy I was dating over the phone and he told me that he was walking his dog while we were talking. In the middle of our chat, he mentioned that he’s about to cross the street. I kept silent for about 30 seconds because I did not want to distract him, and then asked him if he already crossed the street. He was surprised by this gesture. I did it because I genuinely cared about his safety and I was equally surprised how emotionally this small thing affected him.

  • A guy I was dating said that he loves how responsible I am as a granddaughter towards my grandma and also other family members

  • Having a drink with a guy in the BFI bar in London. A homeless guy came in and a member of staff asked him to leave. Before he left my date gave him a fiver.

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