Hey everyone!
I wanted to give you a little something from my tour so far, so that wherever you are in the world you can get a taste of what’s happening all around America right now.
As I’m sure you know by now, in celebration of my new book GetTheGuy, and my new show on NBC ‘Ready For Love’, I’m going to 10 major USA cities to help women across America find love.
This video was taken from a question and answer session at my LA event (the first stop on the tour). I still have 9 more stops to go, and there is still time to get tickets.
I hope you enjoy the video. You’ll see me answering questions asked live by the audience. Amongst the questions I answer are:
–How do I deal with it when a guy is blowing hot and cold?
–What if I shut down with new guys because I’ve been hurt in the past?
–Is it ok to date multiple men at the same time?
–How do I figure out if he has a girlfriend or not when I first meet him?
–What should I do if I keep attracting the wrong men?
Enjoy!
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>>Pre-order your copy of Get The Guy now…
great answers matt, so convinsing :) thanks :D
Hello, Matthew–
This clip really puts things into perspective; you are a natural motivational speaker, very engaging and funny.
“Just because he’s a stalker, it doesn’t mean he has bad taste!” Let that be my mantra. I always thought like these women thought that attracting crazies and weirdos meant there was something wrong with me, as if I had a big target on my back. You totally turn things around on this misperception. You appreciate and value women in a way we don’t value ourselves because we don’t know our own power. Your philosophy can apply to anything we do in life, not just dating. And might I suggest you give a few tips for guys on getting he girl?
I’m at the age where my friends and I are dating divorced men, some who have been bossed around and hen-pecked for 20 or 30 years and are used to the women planning all the activities and directing the relationship. They come across as passive and emasculated in their interactions with us. They are unrealistic and want a combination of Annie Oakley, Halle Berry, Ginger AND Mary Ann. They want someone who can “climb Mt. Rainier in the morning and change into an evening gown at night.” (They actually say, that; just read some of their online profiles.) They want a fairy princess who is trim, fit and beautiful when the men are not. They use texting to keep us simmering on the back burner and to avoid intimacy. Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned phone call to follow up after a date?
My last date, a strapping man of 6’4 texted me and said he is not the “aggressor type.” Well, neither am I. It does not make me feel like a woman to have to lead the conversation, draw the guy out, get him to talk and make him feel secure. Nor do I want to take responsibility for planning all the dates. The female as pursuer has taken hold in American society; women have to take responsibility for this trend as well. This is not the way it works in nature or in the rest of the animal kingdom (note how hard a lion or a wolf or even a bird has to work for sex). A guy who tries, who is charming or who just talks to a woman as you say is way ahead of the rest of the pack. It is time to turn back the pendulum and stop giving everything of ourselves away all at once.
My friend was so impressed with your video that she signed us both up for your seminar in Seattle, and I have invited another friend as well. Hope you have some advice for us baby boomers and Gen-X’rs who are dealing with post-40 Wounded Bears. I have watched this clip 3 times and will watch it several more until it is hard-wired into my brain.
So many of us women face that problem, it’s not that no guys like us, it just seems to be not the right ones.
Yes, Rebecca, you nailed it!
Wow!! You are right so many men and women don’t talk to each other. This video was awesome!! :)
Hey Mathew, I am a singer songwriter from Brazil and I think I am going to start using some of your ideas In my lyrics!
Come to Sao Paulo sometime, we will make sure to find You a translator.
And here, too, men and women are not talking to each other…unfortunatelly.
All the best,
Vanessa
Thanks you sharing with us! I’m currently single but I’m very interested in a guy I know. I’ve known him for a few years now. When we are alone we talk non-stop but when we are in a group he kind of closes off. Sort of like he doesn’t know what to say. Especially if his ex is in the same room. I’m so confused. I catch him staring and smiling at me, but he’s never really said anything that would have me to believe he likes me. I’ll ask him to help me do something and almost every time he jumps at the chance. When he is talking to me and is trying to assure me or tryng to make a point he touches me. And when we are in a group he stands next to me or across from me. I don’t know if he’s just being nice or if he likes me. If someone could please help me I would greatly appreciate it. And if you have any tips on how to show him I’m interested or for me to know he is interested in me I would love it.
It really does sound like he likes you. He just seems to have a touch of uncertainty, or interior conflict, or something as well. But I would say yes, he does like you.
Dear Lady in waiting :)
You are single & interested in a guy YOU know since a few years :)
I wish YOu all the best ways to show him YOU are interested :) & to see if he is interested in YOU :)
How to tell if a guy likes YOU instantly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJe_C-iF3Bk
Many thanks! I really enjoyed watching this video!!!
Hello, Matt !
I totally loved this video. You made good points and at the same time you make us laugh. It makes me want to participate at one of your events. I’ve been thinking about that for a long time, but as a student, I don’t have enough money to do it (I already have my rent and my bills to pay).
Your answer to the woman who seems cold and unapproachable has particularly interested me because I have the same problem. i’m not used to let someone take care of me. I was taught to take care of myself really early. Old habits die hard. ^^
Your advices will help me a lot ! I will still see if I can do something to attend one of your seminars.
Kind regard
Diane
Really, I can’t pull myself back from stopping watching this video. It’s so amazing, funny and definitely useful for me. Thanks a lot, Matt.
You’re so incredible in every way. Just keep going! :x:X:X
Hi Matt, thanks for your video and all the hard work. I have been following your work for a while. hopefully you will eventually come to south africa. i have tried some of your technics but to no avail. I was married for 14 years. Divorced for 9 years. Have been on many dates but that is about all. Nothing comes to pass. I did meet somebody 5 years ago. I have very strong feelings for him but he is not interested in a relationship just on a very casual friendship. I have never told him about my feelings. but would like to do it now. I don’t really have anything to loss but hope I will not damage the friendship.. what should I do? thank you !!
Look up Matt’s youtube video on:
What Does It Mean When a Guy Just Wants to be Friends
before you do anything
(you need to change something in the dynamics of the relationship before doing anything else, so that by the time he knows how you feel, he will be more likely to have started feeling the same way. Matt’s youtube video will tell you how to do this.Don’t tell this guy your feelings until the dynamics have been changed)
Hey Matthew,
I think you should have a pocket guide or flash cards (maybe both) we can carry on us..love seeing this! I hope to get your book soon. I was laughing out loud when I heard your responses but you definitely answered questions I had. I’ve attracted sleezebags and it made me feel awful about myself but it says more about that particular individual not on me. Thanks..
Hi Matthew, awesome video. I know that you are touring around the USA currently but do you have any plans to tour in New Zealand and Australia? As we need help down here too :)
Matthew, since I received your book yesterday I could not put it down. I have to drive to London today and I am shattered. It has been going round my head all night. I liked what you said about texting. Nothing worse than having it all going for you and ruining it after one or two texts, especially after a glass of wine which is when you actually feel compelled to send one!
I have noticed we are all from different countries on this blog. What with all the travelling we do these days I would be interested on your thoughts to keep attraction going over Skype?
Kathryn
Xxx
I am soooooo glad I find you on you tube I love everything about you I reallyyyy what to meet you soooo bad in person. its like a dream if the would happened u always help me when I am having a really bad day with guys thanks for everything Matthew;))))
Thank you for sharing this video. It sounds like they, and you aswell, are having a great time together. Being open and feeling confident in sharing their experiences, listening to one another and learning.
Thanks again for sharing! You’re doing great to me! Enjoy the rest of your tour!
Love, Tamara
OMG! I am very very thankful dear Mathew ! This video really helped me ! I feel confident now ! I don t have to feel shy or awkward anymore ! U really saved my love life thank u sweetheart xxx
This is for everyone! Matthew said it right with what I am calling “getting through the garbage”. I had to ask my long time friend the other day, if it was me sending vibes, since 3 married guys have hit on me in the last week, and no single ones. Granted I have not been out much, but when I was, this is what I got. He is right, we are beautiful and fun and all men love that, but the “garbage” are the ones that feel they could show it.
I am not letting myself change and nor should anyone that is awesome the way they are, just because of the “garbage” out there. I know that quality is around the corner for me. Like you said Matthew, we need to get out there and show the level of who we are, as we are.
Thank you for all you do. You are awesome and so glad I have you here.
It’s amazing how so many of ur ideas Matthew can be transferred into all aspects of life. I first started reading to get ideas about dating and becoming more confidnet in that area but have found myself also thinking about it in terms of general relationships with people. A friend once said that I can be too independent at times and that others are here to help. Thinking now my independence keeps even friends at a distance as much as it does guys. I’ve been hurt by friends in the past when I need them (as well as partners) so I stopped letting people do things for me so that I never needed to rely on them or test their abilities to help/be there for me. all this protecting myself from hurt means that no-one is allowed close and relationships are kept at a superficial level. Allowing men to be the man is not the only thing I need to lean, allowing friends to be friends is also key. Generally taking down those Walls I built! So keep it up matt, and ladies don’t just take the advice for partners but think about other aspects of life. I hope to keep being inspired by ur ideas on relationships. I think i should really read the book!
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Matt makes a really great point in this video — if you are proactive, then you will get results. Most women just complain about being single but don’t do anything about it.
I was extremely proactive (going out, online dating, being set up by friends) and it took me only 5 months to find my absolute perfect man — who is equally as excited about and into me as I am into him. I highly recommend reading the book The List, in addition to following Matt’s advice. It worked for me, I am happier than i’ve ever been in my life!!!