Don’t Make This Mistake When You Spend the Night

You had an amazing date with your new guy. The candlelit restaurant was so romantic, you talked for hours about everything, the wine was flowing, you could barely keep your hands off each other in the cab and, before you knew it, you were waking up the next morning at his place.

As you were about to leave his apartment, though, that blissful feeling suddenly gave way to sheer panic –

Will he think about you after you’re gone?

Will he call?

Will he want to see you again

But wait –Before you “accidentally” leave that necklace behind on his nightstand, heed my warning:


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34 Replies to “Don’t Make This Mistake When You Spend the Night”

  • In the middle of the night, when you’re trying to peace out because he’s snoring his face off, you just want to get the heck outta there. So, ya, sometimes you leave your jewelry behind. And maybe, I’m the one that is like…., shit, I left my favourite necklace and now I have to see that DB again. Jeeze. Not subconscious at all, just stupid. In the middle of the night, drunk and tired, it’s easy to do. Give us a break, and consider the fact that we actually don’t want to see you again, but we really do love our necklace, regardless of his much it cost us. Ha! Matthew I love your videos usually but this one blows. Jameson, you should’ve stepped up and just told him – no Matthew, this is going to get you crucified.

    1. Clearly this video is not for those occassions…If you don’t care about the guy, then it should not be a problem to ask for the neckles… It’s not like you want to keep seeing the guy.. It doesn’t matter what he thinks of you… Or what impression you leave behind..
      Great video Matt.. Great advice, Thanks

  • “sweet, sweet hatred” – ahhh – my down fall too! Totally agree with what you’ve said here – so creepy leaving something :( Just wanted to say – did you wash your hands before filming? They seem very English and pale – lovely but the rest of you is all tanned … did you leave something behind? Like … the bronzer? Just teasing ;)

  • oh lol – just saw this is going to get you crucified ??? Someone shouldn’t be drunk and sleeping with a DB then should they? The man is here to help and it’s obviously needed … his advice may make us wince sometimes but I’d rather that than deal with cringe worthy moments

  • Hi Mat

    My boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago
    We were still seeing each other casually till he dropped the bomb that he’d met someone
    I backed off and followed no contact. A month later I initiated contact we were getting closer he had knee surgery I took him home from the hospitAl I found out the girl he was seeing didn’t dumped him
    I made the mistake of saying how great we were and that we should give it another try
    He’s been defensive and distant since. Last week I made a stupid excuse to c him he hasn’t been well and I cooked him dinner packed lunch the next day he’s was cool casual but we had sex that night for the first time since the breakup
    He was distant and casual the next day I left my dress and nighty maybe intentionally and phone charger un intentionally I didn’t hear from him so called last night to c if he was feeling better when I said I left stuff by mistake his voice turned icy saying I noticed so I suggested meeting in London after work in the week and asked if he’d bring it for me. I sabotaged my relationship with him the breakup sand every chat we’ve had since shown him my vulnerability, neediness etc. he said he doesn’t c us together because I’m so driven and if I hadn’t talked about it so much he might’ve been inclined to give it another go
    I love him and have tried everything to get over him and move on
    I don’t know what to do
    Xx Vanessa

    1. Hi vanesssa,

      Obviously You are expecting answer from matthew But since I could really identify with your situation I thought I’de give You some advice.

      First of all, You do the most common and easy-made misstake that women do. Let your feelings for this guy keep You from realizing your worth. This guy does not value you, when he feels bad he takes benefit from your caring side, problem is You become his mother. His associations with You will not be fun, adventure, high class, independence or nether of the traits actractive women possesses. It’s good to show vulnerability. But You don’t want to leave it at that, he needs to know that You can stand on your own to feet aswell. That’s why You need to get your life in order!! Ask what he has done to deserve You? Think of all the ways You want a guy to treat You? Is he really good enough for You then? Probably not. Still You have strong feelings for him, and You become a hopeless Bambi. ENOUGH! Time to toughen up girl. Realize that You are amazing and That he bringa out bad sides of You. He is actually making You unattractive.
      I say stay away from this guy for now, build a life, start learning art, thaiboxing, yoga, i don’t know what You will like But try new things. Turn the spotlight from his life back to yours. Strive to become a women any guy would fight for. THIS and time was how I got over my ex.

      1. Good advice Saga!
        Vanessa Id suggest u read a link below.. ‘If he’s not chasing why are u investing’

  • I don’t always follow the links to the videos but I’m glad I watched this one! I like the idea of leaving a note behind. If someone did that for me I’d totally be thinking about it (and them) all day long!

  • I tried on Thursday to get your secret scripts when they first came out but each time I put my card number in the space it was supposed to go in it would erase it. After about 10 tries and one half hour trying I gave up. I really want the secret scripts. Is there a phone number or some other way I can contact whomever to help me obtain the secret scripts? Your help on this will be greatly and authentically appreciated. Thank you! Sincerely, Linda

  • Hi Matt!

    I laught outloud and learned, very interactive video! Hahahaha. I have never thought about the jeewelry move, not even in Cindirellas context…really. It kinda did make sense. (past tense)
    I think it would be easier for me to have a pen and paper on my purse than the parfum, I know what I will do ;) Thanks for the advice!


    Ps, I now hate you in the same way you hate your cookies enablers. I’ve got to get me some cookies!

  • Great video, as always.
    Matthew, maybe take the gloves off for some of the long road rides, though, huh? Even out that cyclist’s tan.

  • Dear Matthew,

    Assalamualaikum. Hope you are fine there.
    Your emails are a delight, for me to know certain things about myself and men. And yeah, dating. There must be millions of ladies sending u emails. I just wanna say thank u for making me realise that knowing and liking somebody can be such an adventurous and delight. Just like how a little note can bring a smile on someone’s face. Therefore, I’ll never stop knowing people even if I’ve failed in relationships before.

    Thank u, handsome (:

  • Dear Matthew,

    Assalamualaikum. Hope you are fine there.
    Your emails are a delight, for me to know certain things about myself and men. And yeah, dating. There must be millions of ladies sending u emails. I just wanna say thank u for making me realise that knowing and liking somebody can be such an adventurous and delightful experience. Just like how a little note can bring a smile on someone’s face. Therefore, I’ll never stop knowing people even if I’ve failed in relationships before.

    Thank u, handsome (:

  • I’ve never intentionally left anything over at guys house before. The thought crossed my mind but it was just a little too desperate looking of a move for me to carry out. I love the idea of leaving your perfume scent or a note behind- the note is really sweet and thoughtful. Better yet you could leave a box of unopened thin mints at his place with a short note attached and put it somewhere he can easily find it but that’s still surprising! ;)

  • Hi Matt,
    This video was pretty hilarious by the way. It honestly astounds me how manipulative people can be when they have an agenda. People want to be around who they want to be around. Simple as that. But yeah, I’m just forgetful when I leave stuff at peoples houses ;).
    Anyways, I noticed for your live tours you’re not coming to Boston, where I live! How can you think that Dallas is better than we are!? Boston could really use your love and dating expertise. I swear people have forgotten the art of dating because we are laser focused on our careers and schooling. Being full (over half to be more precise)of young intelligent professionals /students under 30, it is a very innovative city…..but it is basically Neverland. Nobody wants to grow up and they want to stay in school forever haha. Fuck if people want to do more than watch sports games and stumble around drunkenly. Not that I don’t have my drunken stumbles of course but let’s care about experiencing more!
    Anywho, I merely made the suggestion. Take it as you will ;)

  • Hi Matt,

    Your videos are not only informative, but also delightful which is always complemented with your well rehearsed comic timing.

    Thank you for making such videos and for supporting girl scouts!


  • Great cookies…I mean video.
    Actually, I feel like I made a mistake, but it wasn’t leaving something behind, or even sleeping with him.
    After my ex-boyfriend of 2.5 years ‘ghosted’ me some months ago, not even breaking up in person or on the phone, I had gotten the nerve up to go on a 3-day date from a guy I met on one of the Christian dating sites.
    I was excited; he is a CEO and was traveling from the middle of the country to the east side here, then said he wanted to meet me in my city to see if we were compatible. I trust my instincts, got no red flags and we seemed to be on the same page with values.
    He got me a room down the hall from him at a nice hotel, took me out, we hit it off, went to some different clubs and restaurants and got to know each other. He said he was a good listener. He even got us front row Taylor Swift tickets at $300/per. Now mind you, we did have chemistry but were careful not to cross any lines. He stated he is looking for a wife.
    We were out so late Friday night that Saturday we were both tired. I guess I tried to make conversation (I like talking but wasn’t really in the mood; I just wanted him to feel like I was ‘engaged’). He said one of his love languages was ‘touch’, so I wasn’t shy about holding his hand or kissing him on the cheek. I didn’t overdo it and I could tell he liked it.
    Well Sunday, after we went to a really cool church together and sat at lunch before his plane, he said one problem between us may be that I like to talk more than he does; he is more straightforward. I told him that I would have been fine yesterday just walking silently because i was tired too, and that I save my long diatribes for my girlfriends (and you kind girls and Matthew, who listen to me too!).
    So I took some MH advice and just ‘pulled away’ there at the table. It was like magic; he started talking and making conversation. I was silently amused. He even asked me about a prenup.
    But onto the thing I must have done wrong: I have no idea what it is! We went back to the hotel, gathered our luggage, I drove him to the airport, he gave me a great kiss and told me he would text me that he’d gotten home ok (he did), and that was it. I thanked him for the weekend and tickets (and had thanked him several times before) That was Sunday. Now it’s 7 days later–Sunday, and I have not heard a thing from him.
    Another ghosting? What on earth am I doing wrong? I would have at least appreciated a text or email or call, after we had hit it off so well online then in person.
    I haven’t known this man long at all, but am still sad and crying out of frustration.
    Any and all comments are welcome.

    1. Also; I believe 7 days means he’s just not interested. I am quite interested in him, but I guess now it’s a moot point. Still, this time I am not doing anything until I hear some comments. It does feel better just putting this out here. I’m going to go put some ice on my eyes and contemplate getting another dog…

  • Dear Matt and Stephen,

    Argh!!! Please picture teeth grinding and clenched fists shaken in futile frustration. I am the absolute opposite of the person who attempts to or wants to manipulate a man into acting/feeling a certain way. I am literally begging you please, please, please help me. I can’t be the only woman on the planet who means what she says and does.

    I accept that there is generally an inverse relationship between direct communication and intelligence. I get that women, especially, tend to speak around what they mean instead of being direct, regardless of intelligence. But I am not that woman. And I have never, ever seen anyone address the problem I have with people in general, and men in particular.

    When I say something, that is exactly what I mean. I don’t mean any less than what I say. I don’t mean any more than what I say. There is no hidden meaning, sexual innuendo, or desire to manipulate the listener’s thoughts, feelings, or actions. I’m simply conveying information. I expect the listener to do exactly what he or she wants with that information — that is all.

    And men almost never understand that I mean exactly what I say. So, instead of having a normal conversation, I end up having conversations with men where they assume some hidden meaning, sexual innuendo, or assumed motivation for my words. And ultimately, we are having two entirely different conversations. I’m having the conversation where I mean what I say, and he’s having some insane conversation that he’s completely made up in his head. Usually I don’t realize just how badly we’ve misunderstood each other until the guy does or says something that comes across as completely irrational to me, and I realize he’s one of those guys who thinks he knows what I “really mean”. Where what I “really mean” isn’t at all what I said but involves some supposed crazy manipulative motivation on my part or some weird connotation/context/innuendo.

    Please, I need help! How in the world do I communicate with an entire gender that can’t understand that I mean what I say? I can’t possibly be the only woman having this problem. Please help save me and my sisters from the insanity of men who know what we “really mean”.

    With fondness (I was going to say love but, you know, guys) and gratitude,

    1. Well, I’m not sure if I meant to say direct relationship or indirect communication, but you guys know what I mean — generally the more intelligent someone is, the more direct they are.

  • I agree with you, Matt, about consiously leaving something behind after the first date. But what’s your view on leaving jewelries behind after a year of dating but none of you is sure if wanting to make it official?

    I told the guy I’m seeing about the a birthday ring from my father, and that I feel insecure without it. He said he understood returned how I feel as he would be the same with his watch. So he returned it a week later but a couple weeks after that when I forgot it at his place again he didn’t offer to return it. Does that mean he doesn’t care enough about what’s important to me?

    p.s. you should do more videos about what happens after you get the guy

  • Matt,

    Hello there… First off, just want to thank you for your work. I love to see any new video, I know this gal can’t resest to watch love advise given from such a cutie..But, Matt, it is great information that is understandable.. If I am making sense..

    Just a thought for some of the lady’s that may have left behind something at his place, for what ever reason.. If you are worried about looking to needy, and you so happen really would like your items back. Make arrangements with him to place items, in a conveniently safe location.. So, on your way home from work you can just grab them.. Now, you are not asking him to see you. Who knows what direction it could go from here. Also.

    Thanks Matthew


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