Is He The One? 5 Questions to Know for Sure

How do you know if a man is the perfect guy for you?

Many women assume that he has to tick a bunch of traits on a checklist (e.g. he’s not too short or tall, has the right career, loves animals, plays sports, has his own hair, etc. etc.).

But these are just preferences. They aren’t what really matters when it comes to love.

I don’t know about perfect, but I’ve learnt that choosing an amazing partner comes down to just five big questions.

Make sure you can answer all of these 100% before you decide on him…

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32 Replies to “Is He The One? 5 Questions to Know for Sure”

  • Actually, I would have put chemistry last. But given my own experiences with my last partner perhaps I agree. I was attracted to him because of his qualities and generous, easy-going nature. However he would stare at other women as they passed in the street, and he would flirt with other women he considered attractive – even in front of their husbands. He wasn’t the best looking or suavest or most intellectual guy – which didn’t matter at first – but with the continuing of the above behaviour all intimacy disappeared from the relationship. I still cared deeply for him because he was sweet-natured and affectionate, but he decided to leave because of the aforementioned and we weren’t spending any time together.

    Actually, now I feel that it’s not chemistry after all as that does eventually fade anyway. It’s someone who equally shares – as closely as possible – one’s opinions, interests and wavelength. I was spiritual and into writing and composing and art while he liked to boast he’d never read a book. He liked fishing, gardening, travelling and watching TV. So it wasn’t only the chemistry that suffered. It was that we didn’t spend time together because we had different beliefs and interests. And it was hard to have an interesting conversation with someone who was on the other side of the spectrum.

    1. I’m so glad you wrote that, Wendy! I also want to put chemistry as #5 or even #6. It’s easy to think Mat is talking only about physical attraction by placing this idea of chemistry as question #1. You may see or know a lot of guys who are physically attractive and possible candidates to “jump,” but why are these guys not “the one”? Chemistry is contained in all the ideas in questions #2-#5. Someone may be physically attractive, but if the brainal bores you, or if is he rude and abusive when the chips are down, then #1 is not an option.

  • A-ha!! You, guys, were rooting for that scene with the delorean! And, of course, so were we!! Thank you for that and for all the great advices. I, however, am a lost case. I have this superpower of always fall for the wrong guy
    Well… Not too bad. I also look, always, on the bright side of life, so it’s fine

  • Great video again! But what about the rest of us who are not ready to get married and find the one just yet?
    Matt’s videos are wonderful and full of wisdom, but they are mostly centered on women who are ready to start a family. What about the rest of us who are just not ready to settle down yet? How should we treat guys, so that we have the experience, but not fool the guys?

  • I’ve been watching your videos for a while but it’s the first time I decide to comment. Well, Matt… you have just made my day. I am not in the best moment of my life. In fact, I’ve never feel so awful before. Very recently I’ve decided to end up my relationship. We have been almost 15 year together but in the last ones I realised that it was not what I really want. I feel selfish because I know he’s suffering, but I don’t want to go backwards.

    Now, watching your video I realised I cannot answer yes to ANY of the five questions. TO ANY. So maybe I was right, maybe he was not the one for me… And of course, something nobody is thinking about: I was not the one for him. So, selfish or not, I know (not now and not tomorrow) I’ll be fine.

    Thanks, many thanks.

  • Exquisite ! Love is a decision and I would say, when you decide to love, sexual attraction comes! Then, i would put attraction in the last place, and decision at the first!

  • Matt: This is your best video clip yet. Great Q’s to ask! They capture the essence of what a great relationship should be. I know now that my man is the right person for me at this time in my life! Thank You!!

  • This is brilliant, Matthew! You distilled a great amount of wisdom in these five points. They’re fun, relevant, and accessible. Thank you for helping us on this journey!

  • Thank you for empowering, Matthew :) I always feel different energetically after listening your empowering videos. Moreover, am thrilled to always look for the source of empowerment inside me. Your way of living is contageous! lets all get your virus! our world will be much healphier and happier place to live!! :))

  • matthew this was really helpful, but i have a question, i was married for almost 18 years unfortunately my now ex husband became addicted to somethings and with that abuse followed and i had to leave. i have been alone now for almost 4 years and i would like to be in a relationship but i have some chronic illnesses, lupus, fibro myaligia and a few other things that effect my daily life. nothing that is contagious but would effect the person in the sense that there are times i am in a lot of pain and don’t have a life that i can just get up and go. i have also had to have a lot of different surgeries so i have some incisions that make me a little insecure. i am afraid to try to date because i am afraid that someone will not give me a fair shot because of this part of my life. i try to live a normal life as much as possible and don’t let my illnesses get me down, but where this part of my life is concerned i am nervous about being rejected. i know this topic would come up when the man asks what i do for a living and i tell him i am on disability and then they would ask why. so how would you suggest i respond and when is the right time to tell a person you have chronic illnesses and do i tell him everything at once like rip the bandaid off so to speak or a little at a time?

  • I didn’t hear anything you said for #5 because I was in shock that you were sitting in the actual DeLorean time machine. With a hoverboard. And the music. And the Biff clip. So so perfect. Don’t worry, I rewinded it so I could listen to you. Haha! But seriously that BTTF stuff just put you over .

  • Hey Matthew,

    You are hilarious! Ha ha! You had me laughing, smiling, and teary-eyed as well. I love the way you add humor and a touch of silliness to your posts, you are sooooo funny!
    I really enjoyed this post about “Is he the one?” and loved your video… great job! Very effective!

    Are you ready… let’s jump in? Ha ha. Like it! Good one and the scuba diving also a nice touch. This is very true. The strength of a relationship is when BOTH partners involve themselves with each others interests because it is important to them. This is a sign of really caring about each other.

    Ha ha… love # 3… the brainal. Nice touch with the goggles, lab coat, and the actual “brainal description” on the dry-erase board… very DEEP emotional and physical attraction. This one had me laughing so much! Mmmmmmmm! True that they will bring out the best in you and will cause you to GROW. This was one so creative!

    #4 had me teary-eyed. When the chips are bad or down and a person loads on the pain toward you at that time, then they are NOT your team mate for life. I agree and with experiencing this, it hits hard at home. You should support each other at this time and strengthen your bond.

    Ha ha #5 gave me a HUGE SMILE and made me laugh. Back to the Future (time travel). Right and Ready. Sometimes, timing is not quite right at one time but could be on another date or time. The DECISION has to be with both partners and at the right time.

    I really loved your post, Matthew, and the silly video that Jamison helped you with. Great job, very creative… thanks for the laugh and smile! Cute! Nice touch with the back to the future car!

  • That was such a funny cool video. I love how you add sillyness and fun to it but the lesson still comes through very clearly. And you know what that just makes me remember it so much better. Thank you for all work you put into your videos i really learn a lot from it and can never wait for the next one

  • Matthew Hussey, honestly! This was so unexpectedly funny! loved this video! You really have upped your game this year. snaps for you and your crew!

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