I’m sitting here less than two weeks out from my new TV show and book release (both on the 9th of April) and it’s a very surreal moment.
Advanced copies just arrived in the post, and it’s the first time I’ve had my hands on the real thing.
It’s a pretty special moment to be holding the book for the first time.
As I open it, between the dedication (to my mum of course ;) and the first chapter, I read the epigraph that I chose:
“This moment contains all moments” – C.S. Lewis
The meaning I take from this is that in this moment you hold the power to every other moment in your life.
Right now you have a huge array of decisions you COULD make, actions you COULD take, paths you COULD embark on. Which one you choose will determine which of the many roads you go down.
This beautiful sentence to me sums up what we do at GetTheGuy. I’ve come to learn that the smallest things we do are the things that generally have the biggest impact on our lives.
When a woman comes to me worried that guys just see her as a friend – or one of the guys – she usually can’t see that she is just ‘millimeters’ away from being seen as sexy or feminine. The tiny things she does in the way she touches men in a more masculine manner, or the odd word that suggests a friendship rather than a sexual connection are what determine how she is seen.
When a woman worries that she comes across as cold and unapproachable, it’s not because of anything major she’s doing wrong. It’s the small stuff. The way she turns away too fast when a guy gives her eye contact. It’s because she doesn’t smile just a couple of millimeters more with her mouth to show she’s non-threatening. It’s the way her answers to a man’s questions are just a few words short of seeming interested.
And of course, it’s the same in relationships. The moment you kiss your partner passionately for no reason at all. The 10 second call you make to tell someone you are thinking of them. The little present you bring them that cost $5 but shows you were listening when they said that thing two weeks ago.
Often we become overwhelmed by the amount of things we have to do to reach a desired goal.
I meet people all the time who are overwhelmed by the concept of going from single to meeting ‘the One’. “What am I doing wrong?” “Where should I be going?” “What do I need to be doing differently?”
If this moment does indeed contain ALL moments – every possible future outcome for your life – then what you do right now will change the picture of your life one day from now, one year from now, and even ten years from now. But nothing is served by overwhelming yourself with anticipating this change in any given moment. Instead, focus on the tiny shift you can make right now.
Pick one way to do this in this very moment.
And remember… There’s nothing bigger than the little things.
Matthew xxx
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As you know my book is coming out in less than two weeks. If you are wondering what ‘little things’ you can do in your love life to find and create an incredible relationship with an amazing guy, grab a copy. You won’t regret it.
Pre-order your copy of Get The Guy now…
Inch by Inch… and enjoy the ride! thanks Matthew and best of luck!
I think Ana is making naughty innuedos. Put that book down!
So dang happy for you Matthew! You rock and are an inspiration to people all over the world.
So excited for your book.
Best,
Carley Lanpher
Thanks Carley!
A short article but with a very precise message, little things do count. Will keep this in mind for the future. Thanks Matt xx
Indeed they do, they add up quickly! Thanks for commenting.
M
This was exactly what I needed to hear for both my business and life today. I teach people this same principle in my Life Coaching business but I’m a bit thick when it comes to applying it to my own life in terms of seeking love. Seriously game changing thought for me today! Thank you, I so needed that shift in mindset today!!
Thanks Jen!
I do like you. Seriously.
<3
Matt,
You are incredible and you know how much I admire you.. I was just about thinking about you and the life changing stuff you do, when this mail dropped into my inbox :). Hope you be blessed with all you desire in life!
Thanks so much Raksha!
absolutely this is exactly why I will be wearing the best decorated bunny ears this weekend hula hula hula!
Wow. I love that Mathew. I was meditating (a new practice for me to stop the “mind chatter” for a moment) and a thought came to me that I wrote down….”I’m fundamentally a worthwhile person, living a fundamentally worthwhile life”. I looked at it and thought, that’s a great way to see things. Then, I opened my eyes & picked up my phone & saw a new email. This one from you & read the above blog post. I think this tiny decision to see myself & my life could actually be major. Our culture & media has so many of us comparing ourselves to other ppl & ways of life (usually to sell products or something), when actually, we’re worthwile, just as we are. And our lives are worthwhile as they are, too, even if it doesn’t seem like it becuase we’re not making a huge impact. But it all counts. Our tiny decisions about ourselves matter as much as the beat of a butterfly wing.
I’m so happy for your book & TV show to come out & have them on my calendar (plus I told all my friends). I keep trying to set up my DVR to record “Ready For Love”, but it doesn’t seem to record that far in advance. Anyhoo, my friends & I are ready for love & I think this is going to be a great year for all of us :)
Best of luck & we’ll be watching!!!!! xoxoxox!
You said if I didn’t click it, then i don’t like you….
Still don’t like you ;)
(that was obviously a joke)
:)
Here’s a sexy one by ole C.S:
“That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal sufferring, “No future bliss can make up for it” not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory.”
Oo it sends shivers down my spine ;)
LOVE!
It reminds me of the movie Amelie because of the remark that Amelie does to enjoy de little thing of life. This is more or less related to what do you say, it is not?
Hello Matt
Would u like to meet up sometime, with me?
X
If you meet with him send us a photo!!! :D
Oh Matt, congrats on your book!! Can not wait to see you in NYC.. It’s true what you said about a millimeter making a difference!! I tested it today. I like to smile and haven’t over a year.Let’s just say I”ve had a cheesy smile all day because of the complement I got. I’m on cloud nine.
Gracias,Amor
Carmen
Great to hear! See you in NYC :)
M
Dear Matt,
I want to thank you for all the messages that have been brightening up my overspammed inbox for the past weeks.
I have met a really nice guy and he lives near me. It’s the first time I am actually dating someone who doesn’t need a train or a plane to get to me, maybe I was scared, but now, I don’t mind. I like being able to enjoy the little things we do together and if it works out, it would be great, if not, no worries, at least I am enjoying every minute of it.
I have also forwarded your messages to a friend of mine and she was helped so much with them.
Thank you so much and please, keep this up like this and make many more women as happy as I am :)
Oh and I will definitely try to get my hands on a copy of your book!
Love,
Gabrielle
Thanks Gabrielle!
I’ve been in a few long distance relationships and know it’s tough. Glad you’ve found a great guy near you – it certainly helps with the little things.
M
Great article! Needed to hear this today..perfect timing. Thanks! Cant wait for the tv show/book!
Thanks Panne! Good to hear this helped.
M
Matthew, glad to see you still have your sense of humour intact with all the exciting developments going on ; )
Reading your light-hearted remark of your books dedication I was reminded of Michelle Obama saying one of the things to gauge the worth of a man is to look at how he treats his Mother. I think she has a valid point there!
Small things being so relevant is a huge idea, will have to think on that one for a while ……
Lots of love
Kathryn xxx
Now I understand why when I ordered it online I was after I finished all procedure at the end I was told it will be delivered to my device on 9th April. I was so surprised when i got that message since I just saw this book ( maybe it was another version) at the airport book store but it was very pricey and decided to get it online. Now I know the answer…..can’t wait to get it in my kindle
Your website has changed my life in a very short space of time. I have always been passionate and successful in my life in terms of work, friends, travel and health, but never had much confidence in approaching or being approached by men…..until i came across you. :)
Last week i walked into a trendy intimidating store where a gorgeous guy i have seen for a while works, and i asked him out with me!! For me this is completely out of character and i could not believe how empowering this was, or the fact i actually did it ( i have to say it did take about 3 weeks to pluck up the courage)….unfortunately he has a girlfriend, but was very nice about it all and he said i made his day and had he been single he would have!
It made my day, and showed me that that one inch shift in your thinking can potentially change your mindset and in turn your life.
I cant wait to see the next topics next month will bring for me. x
Hi Zoe – that’s a cool story! Can I ask how you did it exactly? what was the lead up and what did you say? How did you make yourself not freak out?!
Hi Reena :)
Well i have liked him for a few months and have spent a fortune going into the shop and buying nice clothes :). He is always very flirtatious,and gives me the butterflies.
So after much deliberation, and walking past the boutique, I went in one afternoon with the intention of asking him out… we spoke for a while, again quite flirtatiously. I left the shop and went to work,as there were 2 co-workers in the shop at that point. I called him 30 mins or so later, and he said he knew who i was….which really helped.
I said…I hope you don’t think this is crazy, but would you like to go out with me sometime. He told me he had a girlfriend, but if he did not he would for sure have went out with me. We laughed about it, and he told me to keep coming in the shop, after i said i would start shopping online now :) He thanked me for making his day and that no one had ever asked him that before, so he felt i had a lot of guts and it was very admirable.
If your thinking of doing it…DO IT. It has changed the way i think about it all now. Who cares if they say no, if they are weird about it and rude, then they were not a great catch anyway, if like the guy i asked is cool and happy and confident about it all, then at least i know now and can move on to someone else :)
Good Luck, let me know if you go for it. x
Wow, … I could never think of those tiny little things to be noticable. But from a psychological point of view- of course!! :D
I am a person that smiles really a lot – at everyone! But this my problem- I tend to give guys the wrong impression sometimes…eventhough both sides want friendship, they tend to take a little more distance when I do something more polite… I don’t get it! Am I not supposed to be polite – am I too polite? Is it possible to be too kind to people!`? I hate to fake arrogance, you see ? I’m a giver and I don’t need anything else as a reward than a happy face as an result…:) Please, tell you understand me? <3
I'm so confused :/
Love xoxo
P.S: Sorry, when I get too passionate – I tend to swallow some prepositions, or pronouns ;) -> I was in the flow, u c ;)
I have the exact same problem! :(
me too, if I try to show my serious side to someone I like, he seems to like me less instead of respecting me more:-S
now we are three with the same issue… You have to do an article about it;-)