In this week’s video, I’m going to go wildly off script and dive into these issues to explain exactly what you need to know to win in dating in 2019.
Believe me: This message will help you avoid the traps I’ve seen too many single men and women fall into…
Let’s Continue this Conversation and Grow Stronger Together. Leave Your Comment Below.
Hi,im in a certain group on Facebook and on the 6 the December l posted my picture to this group called oldies and goodies for older people,about four men came into my inbox and told me they are interested in me,amongest l liked one from USA,hes single but with no children,he says he loves me and want to be with me but do distance relationship works? And how lm l going to know he’s that man lm looking for? Old Matt need your help
I just love you and everything you’re alL about. Thank you for being positive and reminding others to do the same. I think the more I date the more I learn to value myself. I feel very blessed for my experiences and learning patience for my future partner. I find faith in knowing who I am and I’m enough. Looking forward to to the future by celebrating my present and learning from my past. Getting out of my own way to create the life I want with or without a lover.
What a condescending response—you know it sucks, you don’t have time to deal with it, you want women to stop telling you it’s hard because you’ve heard it enough and yet we should stick with you and get stronger? I’m strong. I’m awesome. Give me strategies on how to deal with the infantile bullshit of most men. My decades of being smart, talented, motivated, interesting and living a full life are leaving me with the same general “what up?” and “hey” and dick pics dating pool. What women are asking for is where to find equally strong men on our level and no one seems to be able to answer that. But I certainly won’t share my frustration with you in the future as you are over it.
He’s literally giving you free advice and tools every week to identify the sort of men you should be dumping on the spot not to waste your time anymore and focus on the ones that actually make you happy. You seem to be expecting to be told where the “smart, talented, motivated, interesting” guys hang out, as if there was some sort of secret location where they are all hiding and you are mad at Matthew because he’s not telling you. Sounds ridiculous to me. Put your frustration to sleep and use his advice to make better choices and you’ll actually end up finding a good guy for you, I’m sure of it.
I liked this video, lots of positive psychology in there.
Thanks Matthew for this new video!
I hear also men also saying “there is no girl for me out there, I’m looking for the one but there are no serious girl”, and I’m like “are you even going out there to find a good woman??” (And btw, I am one of those good woman who wants a relationship! Hehe)
What I also want to say is that is so easy to be bitter and complain about man (I do too sometimes), but good man are out there, like I am out there! And I’ve noticed a BIG, HUGE change in how men treats me and the way they are attracted to me, when I started to raise my standart, and show that I am freaking worth to date seriously! The game changed! I am more confident and men feels that!
When I meet a guy who is suddenly in love with me I’m like “you could be in love with any girl right now” cause you don’t know me enough yet! I like when a guy takes his time to know me and to like me, and the same is for me on the other side. Confidence and standarts! Game changer!
Well it’s good to know you are aware and that you can barely do anything about it. However, I am completely aware I do not want to spend time with that type of guys, problem is the percentage of those guys is extremely high. So finding that other guy interested in the deeper meaning of a relationship becomes extremely difficult, add to that the fact that I am an independent woman who has a successful career with little time for leaisure during the week. Men nowadays seem to be taken aback by women who have it figured out, so that’s another problem to the equation. It seems that if they cannot fulfill their biological design to be the care givers to a major extent, they are not interested. I want a man who can be part of an amazing team, who will get turned on by independence and intelligence and not feel belittled by it. So, that all reduces the pool tremendously for a person with little time to spend searching. Yes, if I try every day to meet guys statistically I’ll fins someone someday but it is exhausting and emotionally draining. For the last two years I could not be bothered with investing in guys who were not investing back and I stopped trying, i trusted that it would happen on its own if it was meant to. I just cannot be bothered with exposing myself so much to keep receiving the same bs when I have life figured out and I don’t need a man to be someone or something, I just need a man to share that with and grow together. Gosh, why is it so hard. Leadays? I’m sick of hearing women in our early thirties say the same crap.
Brilliant
Thank you, Matt!
The dating field is indeed harder. What it needs is people like you to remind us that there are good men out there!
I just want to know how stronger I can get for things to work out for me. I was raped when I was 19yrs by the first boyfriend I ever had. That’s how I lost my virginity. It was very difficult for me to trust guys. But two years ago I tried to overcome it. I went for counseling then tried to date. This time I was open minded. I dated dated this great guy. He was very nice to me for two weeks. But then everything changed when he asked for sex and I told him I wasn’t ready. The relationship ended before a month.
Then I met this other guy two months later. He was nice to me too and because I didn’t want this to end like the first one I slept with him. We dated for four months. Everything was great. We were so in love. Well that’s what I thought until he fainted one day at work and was sent to the hospital. That day I found out I wasn’t his only girlfriend. He was dating another girl for two years before he met me. I was his side chick but the worse part was he pretended he didn’t know me
Is it me who isn’t doing the right things for guys to not take me seriously or what? I’m so close to giving up. Tell me something
Thoughtful, insightful, helpful and most importantly hopeful. Stick with this man long enough and the worst of your options won’t even cause a ripple, they won’t have the time or the impact – move up, move on and don’t waste any of that beautiful energy complaining. Thank you Matt, some of us are getting there, I promise. x
I absolutely love this video. I agree 100% with you. It’s us women that need to be strong , and not need the weak men that dont treat us the way they should. We make it easy for them.
I will share this will Everyone I know.
Keep up the good work
Yes Matthew I so agree with your point that it being a scary place out there in the dating world.Having just venturing out there,still not having my first date yet, on social media is overwhelming. Not knowing who to trust, can’t read their body language, or apply anything I have learned from you. BUT, still believing that there are some great guys out there. I will just keep going out there. Somewhere is one who will be glad he didn’t play those games to be with me.
I’m a widow of 66. Dating today is very different and difficult but I don’t blame men I actually think women need to ultimately take responsibility. If sex wasn’t so readily available men would automatically invest more time and energy into relationships. Perhaps it’s an age thing but I have standards that I won’t compromise. Don’t get me wrong, I look for intimacy in a relationship but I don’t subscribe to the ‘sex first’ theory. Even though time is potentially running out. (Laugh) Keep up the good work. Changing women’s attitudes will eventually change how men see us.I know that seems unfair but we have to deal with life the way it is, not winge because men’s brains are wired differently.
Matthew, very well articulated. There will always be a percentage of men that have issues and this plays out in dating on every swipe. It’s frustrating and hurts as a woman but in the end, we need to be in love with ourselves first and these immature, insecure, lost men become insignificant in the scheme of things. I value your compassion to the feminine and I took it very sincerely so thank you for saying you care and understand our experience. I believed your authenticity. I do agree a shift in the consciousness of men would be supremely welcomed by many women worldwide l but we can only affect the here and now and live our best lives outside of a man. You rock and would have loved to catch up in Oz when you were here. Great show you did. I watched every episode! Stay amazing and educating the beautiful women of the world on their standards.
Hiya Kelli
I disagree with you. I think his response says forget negativity because it gets you nowhere and do you want to be with these men anyway? He is not putting the blame on women for saying be stronger, simply just saying let it run of your back like water on feathers because you are going to experience asshats throughout your life. It’s never going to change and really he can’t change that but what he can do is help people like you and me who want help and advice to recognise the things we can’t change and invest the things we can, ie ourselves.
Best of luck in your dating adventures, honey. I hope you find the one you are looking for soon. Stay strong and awesome!
Yikes to the comment below. Did you want a magic answer?
I’ve realised that I am not going to meet a special someone on these dating apps. It’s just not going to happen, I thought right instead of dating someone for a couple of months and then realising they have major issues, let’s use effective time management and date a few at the same time. Well apart from being exhausted, I just can’t be bothered with apps anymore, I’d prefer to meet someone naturally which means I have to live a more active life to meet people which can only be a good thing!!
I’ve followed Matt’s advice for a couple of years and found that you can find really good men if you just follow what lights you up. The real men are not on dating aps, they’re out in the world doing what lights THEM up – having adventures, following their dreams and valuing the people who cross their path. So stop waiting for someone to do all the hard work for you and tell you what to do every minute of the day and get out there and live your life and you won’t be single very long, or at least you won’t be without a multitude of interesting options which weren’t there when you sat around whinging and blaming your solitude on a man who gives seriously good advice FOR FREE every week.
thank you so much for this kind of reality talk because im the one girl that what to experience to dating a guy one guy but after we been together 2 days he dont see me anymore he only says that im attractive woman but he want me to find someone who could want a serious relationship just because his not like that kind of serious sad to know after we been through oh my god
I love all of your videos Matthew, but I especially love this one. I totally agree with everything you say, as it also applies in other areas of our life. Thank you so much for your meaningful help and commitment!!!