The Worst Things You Could Ever Say To A Guy

We focus a lot on what to say in interactions with men, but sometimes half the battle is knowing exactly what is the worst thing to say to a guy, and avoiding ever saying it again!

So here’s a list of phrases you should never say to any guy you want to continue dating and want to build attraction with:

“If you really cared about/loved me….”

No matter what the context, this will put a man on the defensive. Saying this will only make him more defiant, or turn him off of the idea of whatever you were about to say.

He’ll be:

1. Insulted that you think he doesn’t care


2. Angry because he feels tested

“We need to talk”

This is a recurring contender for the “worst thing you could say to men” prize.

Even if this is for something positive, it sends a shiver up the male spine. If you say this to pre-empt a conversation about commitment he’ll immediately feel like you’re talking about “big scary stuff” and it will freak him out. So even if he wanted to commit to you he will now feel like he’s getting told off for not having done so already!

The bigger you make the conversation, the bigger the issue is in his mind.

“Do you think she’s hot…”

Being obsessed with your man’s opinion about other women communicates neediness. He’ll feel like he has to reassure you or that you’re fishing for a compliment.

Remember the golden rule: Men love to compliment, they hate reassuring.

“My ex…”

That’s it, really. Anything about your ex.

There’s rarely ever a reason why your ex or previous issues with men should be brought up with your current man. He’ll wonder why your thinking about him, and even if you don’t he’ll imagine you still have issues about it.

And finally, anything that implies you’re not bothered about/don’t enjoy sex

Men’s self-esteem is hugely wrapped up in how you feel about them sexually.

Anything hinting that you don’t enjoy him in bed, or don’t look forward to sex as much as he does immediately emasculates him and will even make him feel less attracted to you.

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13 Replies to “The Worst Things You Could Ever Say To A Guy”

  • #1 is a big one. Starting a conversation with “if you cared/if you loved me” is a sure way to sound ungrateful and insight an argument with the guy, even if he is very calm by nature. As a girl, before you say something like that, remember that it will never accomplish any positive result.

    1. I did badly with him in the past few months, I did say sth like “If you really cared about/loved me, you should think more about me etc…” or “I am emotional recently (bothered by other issues), if you want to be with me, I want to feel your support…” after that, maybe he thought it was too much (serious) for him to take, so he left, and said maybe I was right that we are not that matched in the first place… I was so hurt…

      What should I do to let him want to come back…?

      1. The only thing you can do is contact him, apologize again for any mistakes you made and let him know that you would like to talk to him. The rest will be up to him. You cannot and should not do anything further to force him to talk to you or see you again beyond that.

  • I’ve got a problem with the last one. What if it’s the truth?
    If you’re with a man who cannot satisfy you in bed, what are you meant to do? Keep faking orgasms?

    1. In that case, maybe you should stop having sex with him. Just be friends, if possible. Unless you’re married to him, in which case you need to figure out how he can satisfy you. Don’t fake orgasms.

      If you become friends, it probably will hurt him. But sometimes that’s the way life is: painful.

  • I met this incredibly guy who is here in my city just to work, he will leave in august and we are getting along fine…I have used some of Matt’s tips because I have been watching his videos for some weeks now. But the is one very cunfising thing happening: we connected very well and he is great company. I set my mind that, since he will go back to his city and I dont know if we’ll ever see each other again, I would just enjoy a good time – and sex. I was actually expecting more just the sex. But then, he is doing these very caring and kind things, he cooked for me, washed my dishes and was worried when I got sick this week. He kisses me passionately but he refuses to have sex. I dont want to fall for him, because I know he will leave, but he is doing everything opposite of what I expected, thus breaking my defenses. HELP! What do I do???

  • You have to talk about sexual problems, even if it’s tough and a challenge for the relationship. It’s far worth to be silent and unsatisfied. But it must be done in a careful, valued way.

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