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Who Should Pay On A Date? (Today Show)

This is one of my favourites Today Show episodes to date (you’ll see why when you watch it). There are a few hilarious moments with E.Jene to look forward to. Enjoy!

(Having trouble viewing this? Try this link…)

From the video…

–What should you do when you see and want to address issues in your marriage, when your spouse thinks everything’s fine – meanwhile the whole situation is making you miserable?

For me, the tone of this question says it all. When someone says “I’m miserable” and the guy doesn’t know it, it suggests more than just a problem in the relationship; it’s an indication of a woman who is too afraid to confront problems in her life head-on.

Even if I gave something that would demonstrate confidence for her to say, when the guy then does what men inevitably do (try to make women feel crazy and irrational), she’ll be too weak to be able so stand up for what she wants.

The reason someone doesn’t confront something is because they’re afraid of loss.

Someone in this situation has to figure out her relationship with herself before she goes and confronts her guy, and that involves getting to place where she can say, “I’m not going to have my self esteem tied to losing this man.”

If you can say it’s more detrimental to be in a relationship of pain than it is to be alone, now you’re going to be coming from a place where you can on to get the things you want.

–Is it okay to date your ex’s best friend?

If he’s the love of your life, go for it. If this is a whim because you’re lonely or in pain, or worse, trying to get back at the guy, don’t do it.

God forbid you’re on the receiving end of that one day.

–Is it appropriate to expect your date to pay for most or all of your nights out together? Or at what point in the dating process should I begin reaching for the cheque to share some of the responsibilities?

A man should pay, but a lady shouldn’t expect it.

It’s tough for women in the position they’re in today to want equality in every area aside from paying for things in a relationship. It puts out a very confused message.

While many men will still want to pay, don’t show that you expect it – even while letting him.

If you want to contribute, do so.

If the guy insists on paying for everything, you have the choice to let him. This isn’t make or break – it’s the expectation that he always will pay that ruins relationships.


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57 Replies to “Who Should Pay On A Date? (Today Show)”

  • Five spams!

    + 1 for tomorrow

    t – 3 days ? 4?

    two days down, three to go

    And then boycotting Matthew Hussey blog / products/ stuff FOREVER!

  • I will only listen to your radio station.

    This meet you man bullshit is not worth pursuing because I hate men. ALL men. :(


  • sad spammer logging off.

    + 5

    ‘Til Friday Friday
    gotta get down for Friday
    everybody’s looking forward to the weekend

    which seat shall I take ?

    the driver’s seat of course. RAWR.

  • It cracks me up so much to see that elle/vogue woman next to you and your expression after everything she says!!
    Im sorry, I hate to say this about another woman, but you understand women way way better than she does! Cause you know how People tick. You dont talk any bullshit. You talk from a real and caring place. Unlike her “if he’s hot enough” comment.

    But this “who should pay” issue. Its tricky business. Its a very old fashioned custom from when women actually didnt earn money. And now women do. Really it shouldnt matter who pays. I would want to spoil my man too. Of course he can pay aswell. I dont mind. But I dont like this compulsiveness that he always should pay. Or that his ego cant handle his woman taking him out. I know in the male psyche he must always lead or something like that… But wouldnt it take a real mature and “real man” to be able to let that shit go? And relax on that standard a little. Just sayin…

    Thank you tho for your insightful advice. Especially that about the core values. That in order to know what to ask for/demand in a relationship one needs to love onself. (You didnt say it exactly like that but thats what I understood.)

    I keep on agreeing with you and I keep on coming back for more :) Thank you!

  • It’s as if you have both turned up to play a game of poker or something and one of you is a world champion and the other has only just learnt the rules.

    Why the Today Show has chosen to feature the two of you together is beyond me. Are they trying to make her look like a fool? No disrespect to her, but you guys should be playing in different leagues.

  • Hi Matt
    I’ve been watching this over and over again and it’s just hilarious! People on the train I’m on probably think I’m nuts for laughing to myself. You 4 make a great team…it’s entertaining and your knowledge is phenomenal as always. Keep doing this segment…it’s GOLD!

    Love U

  • Matt, I love how you keep the focus on a woman’s relationship to herself. When she feels that core confidence, she doesn’t have to spend so much time worrying about how she will be perceived, whether with her husband, or with a date who is paying. When a woman is clear in herself about her values and goals, that clarity will be reflected in her actions. You are showing me the way to bring that into my own life, and I am thankful!

  • Mattie, why would I want to listen to your iheart radio chock full of excellent information to live one’s life ?

    I wouldn’t.

  • +3

    you’re such a moron, your hair that one that falls on your forehead – it doesn’t even know how to behave

  • +4 what kind of a man wears an AMAZING grey suit and red tie combination with JEANS Yuck and BROWN loafers.

    You need help!

  • +5 Even though you’re a love guru, I bet you would NEVER be able to get my husband and I back together again.


  • +6

    I almost bought your book along with ‘something borrowed’ by emily giffin.

    you know like the two would make sense together. it’s the book I’d give to Darcy to learn to Get the Guy. But she ended up “borrowing” him from her best friend by sleeping with him… Very disturbing story line.

    But read together, maybe they would make sense.

    And then I decided I can’t afford to spend 40 dollars on two books.

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