What’s The Matter With Him?

I’m in a relationship and have been for the past 5 months with a great guy, we used to have regular sex but now every time it comes down to it, I just end up giving him oral sex, what’s the matter with him?

Matthew’s answer

Unfortunately after a while sex can lose its spark and some men can get a little lazy, especially if they are still getting what they want without having to work for it. But if you had great sex before there is not reason why you cant have it again. Here is some tips for getting your sex life back on track;

1. Don’t give in so easy!

If your guy knows you will always give him oral sex he will take it for granted and wont make the effort to give you the great sex you were having before.

Don’t withdraw intimacy completely but try kissing him and teasing him without giving him oral sex and when he realises he isn’t going to get what he wants without working for it he is very likely to start making the effort again.

2. Remind him of the way things were

When you’re starting to get intimate try a little dirty talk reminding him of some of the times you had great sex previously, the positions you were in and how good it was for you and this will hopefully lead to a repeat performance. (Guys love doing anything if you tell them it turns you on!)

You can also try reminding him of these things over text message before you’re about to see each other so that most of the day he cant help but think about ravaging you.

3. Don’t deliver

If it seems that it’s the only thing getting your man going you could try giving him oral sex.

But! – Make it clear its just foreplay, only indulge him for a couple of minutes then stop and go back to just teasing or kissing him and the frustration will lead to sex that’s good for both of you.

Remember – Sex isn’t just for him its for both of you and men are conscious that they want to turn you on too; you just need to make it clear that only giving oral sex is not doing it for you.

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3 Replies to “What’s The Matter With Him?”

  • I think my boyfriends cheating , he always hides his phone , He ignores my calls , he looks at other women in front of me , why wont he admit it or just break up with me . He makes me feel like I’m crazy . Am I or is my gut right ? what do you think ??

  • In reply to Elizabeth AND Matt

    I’ve had the same experience (both of them) with one guy, that we were together for 4 years. He also made me feel crazy in the the way Elizabeth is talking about. But I never thought of him as a cheating type, because he simply wasn’t. :) We also ended up almost every time at the orals. There was a simple reason for all of it – he just took me for granted. Now that I look back, I realise that (like with every problem in a relationship) it took two to create that problem. It was his fault that he became lazy and put no effort in our relationship and my fault because I led him to that and let him do that.
    I broke up with him, not because of this (this is something, that can be solved), but because, excuse the language, he was simply an irresponsable and unmature loser. :)
    I realised that I deserve better than that and I advise Elizabeth and other girls that end up with orals, to be more selfconfident and demand of a man to put in a relationship as much effort as you do, otherwise he is just not worthy of you.
    Recently I’ve met a couple that was together for 10 years and they still seemed like they are freshly in love. I didn’d know that even existed! But obviously it does, you just have to meet the right one…:)
    So if you think, he’s the right one, put more effort in your relationship, work on your problems and don’t give up, maybe he’ll notice that and start to appreciate you more. But if you think, he isn’t the right one, start appreciate YOURSELF more and just simply aim higher at what you want out of a guy. I do that now, and I’m telling you, the results are amasing, I didn’t know that that kind of guys exist! :)
    I wish you all good luck in your love lifes and don’t forget – LOVE YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE FIRST BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE!

    Monika ;)

  • Hi Matthew !
    I am 20 years old. I am attracted to a guy who is 25 . We have been friends for 6 years now. Two months ago we went together to a fancy restaurant and he payed. Then after few weeks I asked him to help me with my speech. He had a paper due that night but He wanted to finish my speech and everything and he didn’t say anything about his paper until we were done I told him that we took most of his time working on my thing, but he said do not worry I still have time .
    Last week we were suppose to hangout with my and his roommates . my roommate couldn’t come so he asked his roommate to bring a girl with him , and he payed for me again . then at the end when he wanted to drop everybody off . He dropped the girl , his roommate then he took me home . It was the first time that he calls me by my nickname. Every time we hangout he says that we should do it again , but he doesn’t call me or text me to go out until both of us deiced or if I tell him that I have nothing on that day.
    I think he likes me , but I am scared to flirt . I just don’t want to come across in a bad way . He is a quiet guy who doesn’t flirt allot , he is fun , and quiet. He is also so mature ! His personality has all I need , and He matches the list that I have for my future .
    I don’t know much about his old dating life because we never really talked about this thing .
    I really want to make sure that he likes me and I want to see him more often. We go to the same collage but he is a graduate student , so I never see him .
    What shall I do to know if he likes me or not?
    What shall I do to see him more and keep in touch without letting him loose interest in me?

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