Yesterday I was invited back onto The Today Show to discuss men, commitment, George Clooney and the ‘male blueprint’. Here’s the recording. Enjoy!
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From the video…
–What is it that makes a man or woman want to steer clear of commitment?
Are men hard-wired a certain way not to want commitment?
As Helen Fisher stated, on the whole, men want more public displays of affection, kissing in the street, and to move in sooner that women generally.
The reason behind this however is more to do with the fact that a guy doesn’t associate all of the same things as a woman might with such moments.
Men don’t attach the same meaning to things as women do in the early stages.
Any woman who’s been introduced to a guy’s friends and family and been completely ingratiated into his life, only to find he’s never going to commit can attest to this.
This isn’t to say that we’re ‘hard-wired’ any differently, but it does outline a difference in expectations that can lead women to draw false conclusions from men’s actions.
–What does it mean to be committed? Can someone who doesn’t want commitment ever change their mind?
George Clooney’s two-year (presumably faithful) monogamous relationship is a stronger form of commitment than most men make even when they say they’re committed!
When we talk about men and their ‘blueprint’, what we’re really talking about is what a guy thinks he should be doing. If a guy has just come out of a relationship, what does he think he should be doing in that moment?
–Enjoying himself? Playing the field? Having the novelty of single life?
If so and someone were to come along who was the perfect perfect, if that’s where his head is at, a guy is likely to think to himself, ‘you weren’t supposed to come along right now’.
–How can women get through to men to find out if he can come around to commitment?
There is a language that gets through to men.
So many women don’t know how to get through to guys on this level.
If for example a woman says, ‘I want to know what we are right now’, it’s likely to scare a guy away.
Alternatively, if a woman were to say, ‘I need to understand what you think we are right now because I have a lot of men asking me out’, this shows high demand and creates a pressure for the guy to make a decision, without explicitly asking.
Want more insights into the male mind? I have something that reveals all. Check out my online program The Man Myth here. In it you’ll learn everything you need to know about the ‘male blueprint’, why men behave the way they do, and what you need to do to meet and attract your dream guy.