The Brave Way to Overcome Your Heartbreak

If you’re feeling the pain of heartbreak right now, this week’s video will put you on the path of recovery. There’s a high chance you’ll instantly feel a little better after watching it. 

What’s One Way You Choose to Be Brave Through Heartbreak?
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You’ve got to cut it off now, and give yourself time. And be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re still thinking about someone who meant something to you. That’s human. What you’re feeling is human.

You’re not wrong for experiencing pain. Someone breaks your heart, it hurts. And my brain right now is wired to go to this person for connection, even though they’re not there anymore.

Too many people get left in a relationship where they’re still convincing themselves, “But he’s the one.” If someone doesn’t want to be there, they cannot be that person for you. It’s not your guy.

We always say we want closure, but when someone gives us that level of closure, that’s not an easy thing to hear. The only closure you ever need is, “You don’t want me. You’re not sure.” That’s closure. I don’t need to know anything else. I do not need to know anything else. That is the only closure I need.

And if he calls you or texts you out of the blue, you have that right to say to him, “Listen, it’s not good for me right now to have this communication, because I’m trying to repair myself. I’m trying to overcome this and I’m trying to build a life.”

You have to focus all of your time and attention now on building where you’re going, like ruthless, ruthless, right? Stop worrying about what’s back there.

Just because your heart is injured right now, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do all of the things that build up your life, your energy, your body. Day by day, rewire. I’m going to start creating new connections in my brain.

So you do everything else to get strong even while your heart is still healing, whether it’s going to the gym, whether it’s spending time with friends, whether it’s connecting more with family, whether it’s going on a date with someone else that has potential, that reminds us that there is potential out there. That means when your heart comes back online, your life is ready to go.

It’s a brave thing to do to keep that magic in you even after you’ve been hurt.

It’s okay to be disappointed that someone didn’t turn out to be the person that you needed, but what you mustn’t do is grieve as though they were the one.

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37 Replies to “The Brave Way to Overcome Your Heartbreak”

  • I ended a relationship last week because he showed me it wasn’t going to go anywhere and all he wanted was something casual. After not hearing from him for a week and half asking him to call me via text, I knew it was time to pull the plug. His response gave me even more assurance that this was either the wrong guy or the wrong time for us to be together.

    But now, I’m traveling to New York from San Francisco teaching master dance workshops to college students and inspiring them to go after their dreams. I feel pumped and little by little I am healing my heart by encouraging others to be brave. I’m meeting new people from all over the country and have even received another opportunity to go to NYC next year and possibly Arizona after. All the years of failed applications and rejections in my career are finally paying off and it helps me believe each rejection was just a stepping stone to get me on the path to where I am supposed to be. Never stop trying.

    I still feel like giving up on love sometimes since I still haven’t found the real thing and each failed relationship sucks as much as the last one. But, I’m going to move forward with an open mind and keep trying to be the best person I can be while not beating myself up because I still haven’t found the right guy yet. I hope all the other people out there do the same because your braver than you know and more powerful than you think!

    Thanks you Matthew for the video! It was encouraging and it’s helping me get out of bed this morning with a smile on my face.

  • Matthew,
    So, in your opinion, is it not possible for two people that love each other, that think the other one was the love of their life, could break apart due to very difficult times? So despite trying to make it work, something bad happens which tears them more apart, despite the love they have. I mean, isn’t it so that sometimes people do things out of fear, out of confusion, when they’re not familiar with the situation. And then they break up, even though they love each other. And being apart for a short time (a few months) might be the only thing they need to get back to the place they were before?
    I mean, I’m a dreamer, yes, but when it comes to relationships I consider myself rather rational. I don’t make decisions out of the blue. I was with my partner for over 12 years. 11 of which were amazing. I thought we’d stay together forever, and he did as well. And then something hit which took us off course, added by more and more negative things, including depression, suicidal thoughts, health breakdowns etc. It was something so unexpected and we ended up hurting each other unintentionally. I had to break it off although I love him and he loves me. I felt that we needed some time apart for to gather our thoughts and I’ve been working on that for more than a year. I can finally feel more free and I understand so many situations better. We’ve been apart only a few months, and we’ve been yearning for each other all the time, knowing that it wasn’t the right time yet. But can there be the right time? According to you, if he was the One, he should’ve stuck with me no matter what. He didn’t, he couldn’t, and I see that now better than ever.
    So, could there still be a chance that neither of us should get over the break up? That we needed something bigger to break for to get back together stronger? Can’t we be each other’s The Ones despite the break-up?

  • Thank u for this video Matthew.
    I’m in that place right now after 3 years w someone who has never been consistent, nor has ever claimed me. But says he loves me. I can’t do it anymore. The silent treatments have left me resentful & anxious.

  • It took me 2 years to get over the last heartbreak. I really thought and felt like was the one. I grieved as though he was the one. At some point I revalued sitting at home alone in the evening was bad for me. I started to paint. Since then, I have rebuild a life for me and am probably happier than I ever was before. I corrected so many things that were not good in my life and my behaviour before. All in all, it was the most painful and most healing experience I yet.

  • Thank you so much! I needed to hear this!!! I am finally walking away from a 6 year entanglement where he was unsure. I’m going to heal and rebuild my life! I love this video. I’ll be watching it again!!!!

  • Oh my God it’s like you are reading through my life as you sending this email to god knows how many people going through the same situation. I personally think that everything happens for a reason as hard as it can be I know that I m a strong woman and I will get through it eventually .But one thing I m scared of is it my happen again.

  • Really appreciate this video. Thank you Matthew & team! Please continue to make videos with substance and help all the ladies to overcome their heartbreak. Keep up the good work!

  • It is easily said than done. I wish it can be easier but one cannot simply just forget. Maybe it was a mistake to believe that he was the one, but it did happen. You invested time, love and a lot of effort to do things just so you could be with this person. You need to grieve for your loss. You need time to do that before you can really get back on track. I think it’s healthy to give yourself time to think grieve, and think of the next step. But where you are right Is where one shouldn’t stop there. There will be the time when you start moving on and rebuilding your life. It’s being resilient after a very nasty heartbreak. But what we must recognize is that this resilience comes from that time you give yourself- between the end of a relationship and the beginning of a new life. This is when you become stronger and more confident in knowing you are about to start anew.

  • I’m in my 50s and am seeing a man who I was involved with many years ago.he has come back into my life however does not want to commit, his wife left him over 15 months ago.he says he needs time to do thing, travel with his friends, be with his grandchildren etc. At our age I do understand this, however I’m feeling I need a bit more.what should I do?I don’t want to get hurt again.

  • So powerful!! Also I needed to hear it today. I do have someone that has commitment issues in my life yet I went out on a date and that guy is really nice. It showed me there is not just one single choice in my life not now or ever. Thank you for letting me know it’s okay to feel that way.

  • Hi im still really hurting right now.. Well, this person isnt the one i had relationship with.. But i want to be straightforward, i was a victim of catfishing. This person used her cousin’s identity to make me fall in love,this girl lied and played with my feelings. Partly its my fault that this happened, i let her hurt me. Weve been couples for 3yrs. Were not seeing each other personally. When God gave me the chance to get to see this person i thought i was in a rel for 3yrs with, i told him that hey i am your gf.. He said i dont know you and laughed at me. I wanna get over this, i feel ashamed of myself and im still in love with this idea and this person that was being used. Still it hurts… Im still in contact with this cousin that she used.still chatting sometimes and im the conversation starter.. I know hes not interested with me.. Im convincing myself that hes the one but i know hes not. Help….

  • Your words of encouragement and pragmatic guidance are always welcomed. I’m currently working through a heartbreak, first one after my divorce 5 years ago. Doing all that you suggest and it is getting back- albeit slowly – one day at a time .

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