We tell ourselves we have high standards—but is that actually true? Or are we just prioritizing the wrong things? And what if we meet someone who’s perfect on paper, but there’s no spark? Can chemistry slowly grow, or is it something we either feel instantly . . . or never will?
For today’s new video, I sat down with Kristin Cavallari on her Let’s Be Honest podcast to talk about chemistry vs. compatibility, one of the biggest mistakes people make in dating, and what actually matters when you’re looking for a lasting relationship.
When I was living this guy, I would breakout in a night sweats and thought my body must be going through a stage. Now that we are broken up, I don’t have night sweats. I had them because he was always anxious. I realized my body was reacting to how he made me feel.
I have been starting to think more about what my mom told me when I was younger that you should rush slowly when it comes to dating. What I might have done in the past is not getting to know someone enough to see if we are compatible, all the other steps were there. I think we mostly saw it during the relationship then how well we actually work. This one time I actually started dating one guy the same weekend that we met. Everything felt so genuine and honest with him from the very start and he wasn’t playing any games. He’s the go with the flow type of guy. We did get to the 3rd stage actually of saying yes to commitment, but not sure if we actually made it to the 4th. Maybe a bit because we did try our best to make it work. Almost 8 years later I’m still friends with this same guy or actually best friends now and our communication is so much better and we’re both the type of person who prefers phone calls over text, but of course we do text as well to stay in touch. We’re trying to figure things out by taking things slowly and seeing where it leads. I’m actually very excited to see if we’re able to take all the 4 steps this time to see if it works. Letting things proceed naturally, not forcing anything.
Hey Matthew,
I’m not exaggerating when saying that this became on of my favorite, maybe even the favorite video about relationships & dating I’ve ever seen.
A big thanks to your interviewer and her great questions and your fantastic answers.
It gave me a better vision and view on how to proceed in finding someone extraordinary in this confusing jungle of dating.
Thank you a lot.