This is a conversation I had with Jay Shetty for his On Purpose podcast, where we talked about the modern dating dilemma of endless options and the fear of settling. We discussed the danger of always looking for “someone better” as a dating strategy, why we miss out on meaningful connections, and how to find a real relationship rather than optimizing for the perfect partner.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re always torn between chasing someone exciting or someone who brings you peace, this episode will help you create a love life that actually works for you.
Matthew & Jay,
This video was great! I’ve been struggling with all of the things you were talking about! Terrific clarification!!! Especially, Matthew, your last comment on coming from an abusive relationship! Thank you both so much for your great advise
Matthew & Jay,
This video was great! I’ve been struggling with all of the things you were talking about! Terrific clarification!!! Especially, Matthew, your last comment on coming from an abusive relationship! Thank you both so much for your great advise
Hi Matthew , great stuff.
I’m struggling atm. Been talking to s guy for 11 weeks.
He says he’s biding his time. Met him once. I don’t want to rock the boat, but is he meeting my needs . You have got me thinking now
Perhaps I should use the Audrey approach . Linda from UK
Excellent video! Definitely made me re look at what I am doing.. going from one date to another, thinking that the next one is going to be the person for me and it never seems to happen. I guess I have a certain personality type that I am looking for rather than determining who is really making the effort to have a successful relationship.
I act much younger than my age and I’m always looking for a guy who is young at heart as well. Pretty tough when you’re in your 60s or 70s. LOL
The commentary at the end re standards and confidence is spot on. It can be easy to berate ourselves for “not having had standards” when coming out of a relationship that didn’t meet our needs, especially one that was problematic that we “couldn’t live without” (♀️ been there) yet the fact we walked away/or didn’t chase *was* the standard being applied. I gave myself such grief for not being strong enough to express my boundaries in an intensely connected yet unhealthy relationship… this video made me realise I *was* strong – I disengaged when I thought I couldn’t and that in itself was an act of self love and adherence to my standards. Thanks guys
How do I get the guts to set that standard when I’ve held standards for 80 % of my life and recently had it blow up my family causing all my children to leave and my husband to leave…leaving me in an identity crisis and anything goes now? I feel I just need to get through the identity crisis before i can det standards again.
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