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3 tips for successful online dating

Having a hard time online?

Last month I opened things up for readers to share stories and experiences with me about online dating. Check out the video above for what we found.

Here are our findings from the most important question asked…


Online Dating How To (no matter your age)

1) Develop a thick skin

Online dating is kind of crazy. It’s like being in the best bar and the worst bar at the same time. You have great guys who are trying to find an amazing relationship, while you have others sending you weird, dirty messages our of nowhere.

2) Be quick about it

If you see someone you like, message them. What’s the worst that could happen? Avoid generic small talk (‘how’re you?’ ‘what’s up?’…). Instead comment on their profile (‘I commend you for being the only guy man enough to admit that Titanic is their favourite film!’).

3) Show don’t tell

“I’m funny, I’m smart, I like movies, I like to travel…”

‘Shopping lists’ like these become UNBELIEVABLY boring. People won’t actually read through them, and so rather than describe yourself with a bunch of words, describe something you’ve been through, or a moment in your life that meant something to you.

Question of the day…

Have you ever found yourself dependent on online dating for meeting men? How can you ensure that that doesn’t happen, and that you’re still working on the skills that will allow you to meet guys in real life?


Do you want to ensure that you’re the most attractive version of yourself that you can be? So that when you do meet with people you’ve engaged with online, you know how to build chemistry, how to connect, and how to move things forward…

I have something that will help you with all of these steps. It’s called The Man Myth, and you can check it out here.

Free Guide

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77 Replies to “3 tips for successful online dating”

  • Hi Matthew and everyone at GetTheGuy,

    I was at the event in Atlanta yesterday and learned so much. I was told my Matthew to take risk. This made me a bit nervous as like anyone else it is hard to first accept that you may be regected and still move forward in putting yourself out there.

    Today while at lunch with co-workers I noticed a waiter who I thought to be attractive. I glanced his way, he walked over to our table. I got nervous thinking that he would approach me and start a conversation. He didn’t, he poured a glass of water for the lady sitting at the next table. I glanced once more at him and this is when he winked at me and I gave him a smile.

    As my co-worker and I were walking out of the restaurant he stopped me for a short converation and he asked for my number!!! My heart was pounding all the while and I was certain he could hear it. What a difference a glance makes. I can’t believe that I made this happen for myself!!!

    I am not certain what will come, and honestly that does not matter. I am on a high because I stepped out in faith. It was a great boost to my confidence and my ability to create an opportunity.

    Matthew as always you are very helpul and it was an honour to meet you. Here’s to taking risk!!!

    Your friend from Atlanta,

  • One of Matthew’s philosophies that I’ve been constantly trying to put into practice is asking myself where my ideal guy would be on a Saturday night, and then go there.

    Trouble is, the answer was usually “at home with a good book, a coffee and his pet cat”. Had me stumped for a while until I realised my ideal guy would also be looking for someone to share that with – he would probably be online, looking for someone like me!

    If you can put your hand on your heart and say you honestly believe that tonight your ideal guy is probably logging in to match.com trying to meet someone like you, then by all means get yourself a profile! If not, work out where he *is* going to be, and go find him!

  • I have looked and been on websites for dating, payed for match but I am still on my own and have been for 8 years, is it this hard to find some one to spend time with. I think online dating is difficult and I don,t really go out that often as friends all have partners so where do women go on there own to meet people. I attended your session and yes there are some points you made maybe it all has to do with confidence. I will look at buying your book to assist with finding my man and keeping him.

  • Hi Matt ! I’ve answered your survey and I’ve been finding some amazing guys on websites (3 boyfriends, one of which I stayed with 10 years !). I loved the end of that little video Matt ! Keep them coming. With the Get the guy online course, they give me a feeling that I know you more and more. It will be embarrassing if I actually get to meet you one day because I’ll say “hi !” like we’re friends and you won’t even know me ! ha ha ha Create a good day !!! JP

  • haha that was HILARIOUS!!! it’s great to see you keeping it light and fun! you are just charming! I’m in Chicago, wish I had made it to the event, but had another commitment I could not cancel. Really hope you tour again and I get a chance to go. Best of luck to you.

  • HAHAHA!!! That last part, I couldn’t help myself but to laugh at your reaction. *Highfives* Well I do hope that your tour continues to be a super great learning and teaching time for you and the women (and maybe men) that will be participating. Be safe and thank you for being such an inspiration.

  • I’m not allowed to yell , shout, hit or kill my ex-husband . Or the idiot who almost ruined my legal career and employment opportunities.

    I hate all MEN!

  • Seriously? The ending had me in tears I was laughing so hard! Looks to me as though you need some fresh eyes and someone that thinks outside the box added to your team and I’m just the person!

    And on a side note, I’m an extremely techie person and I despise online dating! Nothing but shopping lists!

  • Did a fair amount of online dating in my 30s, and had quite a bit of fun with it. Was much more successful in Philadelphia, though, than Los Angeles which is a tough market for tall Rubenesque brunettes. Ended up meeting my partner online but not on a dating site but a fan board for one of my favorite authors. As my love says, we had a really old fashioned courtship–we talked together online for a year and a half before we ever met. Chatboards are less popular these days but they are still around and are a good way to meet guys interested in specific fields.

  • I just created an online dating profile and I must say, online dating is a weird thing!! I totally agree with you that’s it’s kinda crazy, especially because you start looking at so many details and looking for the ideal guy that matches with your expectations 100%.
    I was quite overwhelmed though when in the first three days like six people wrote me a message.^^

  • Hi! great article. I thought i would try online dating for a bit. I met a guy. We’ve been dating for about three months and we actually decided to be exclusive a week ago. We are still getting to know each other but i like were things are going. I disables my OkCupid profile a while back, yesterday i decided to delete it all together. But curiosity got the better of me and i wanted to see if he already has taken his profile down. I found out that he had not, and also was online at that moment which was half an hour after we’ve seen each other. I was kind of put off by it.

    My question is what should i do? Give him some time, because it has only been a week. I don’t want to check up on him later in the relationship. I just want to trust that he will take his profile down at some point, but now i kind of feel weird about it. Or should i say something about it?

    Do you guys have any advice?

    Thanks! Sophie

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