Tired of putting in all the effort while others barely try? In this week’s video, I share how to stop wasting energy on people who aren’t serious, and focus instead on connecting with people who are ready to meet you halfway.
We’ll talk about how the story you’re telling (through your words and energy) can either inspire connection or hold you back. If dating feels frustrating right now, this is what you need . . .
Well these two categories are lacking if you are dating a fearful avoidant. When they don’t respond it’s way more complicated! Could be either or they could be afraid to respond.
Nice video. Usefull.
My story, briefly (she lives about 200 km from me):
1. Started writing with a woman mid February. Marvellous connection – she’s spiritual, and so am I, so lots of common ground
2. We knew almost everything about each other after a couple of weeks
3. We started out writing as friends, but it soon developed into something more serious, and we agreed to meet
4. The date never materialised – after agreeing to meet, she went silent – ghosted me
5. I leaned back for a couple of months, but then decided to write her and say that I could not see myself in a one sided relation. I am what you call a ‘super empath’, and I simply had had enough of her silence.
6. Now it’s September, and I haven’t had any reaction from her except a birthday greeting and a heart emoji on one of my Facebook posts – not a single word on my decision to leave our relation
7. I haven’t reacted to her withdrawal, just thanked her for her birthday greeting in August, which contained a heart emoji, a Danish flag, and a red rose – deeply confusing. I wrote nothing personal, just thank you. This almost three weeks ago – still not a word from her – so be it.
When we got to know each other, she characterized herself as a fearful avoidant, and I’m definitely an anxious preoccupied, so you can hardly have a worse combination, can you? What a pity – we have so much in common, but she got scared when things became serious. Deeply frustrating, but potential isn’t enough for me. I want commitment, but will hardly get it. Told her that I wouldn’t accept push/pull dynamics, only reciprocity, but I’ve never had a reaction to my words. That’s it, and that’s that – I won’t chase.
Dear Jensen,
It’s definitely happened to me before, countless times, and it never gets easier. It hurts every time, so I understand your frustration and anguish. It’ll get better, eventually!
You’re worthy of love and it’ll find you.
My sincere hope that you’ll heal from this,
Milca Vilas Boas.
I watch your videos mainly to apply the advice and outlook in my business, where nobody is interested, my videos get barely any views, people check out after a few minutes only, and let’s not even hope I manage to get clients… And yes, I was totally stuck in the ‘I’m not good enough, I should quit, it’s no use’… But you’re right I actually need to find what is in the way of connecting with people – which I know, these past 5 years I’ve had to endure more rejection, humiliation and abuse than one could bear. So thank you for the insight. Signing up on the reset event – also most likely getting my ticket for the retreat!
Clause, I feel your pain in your words. It’s rare that you had the unique opportunity to connect at such a deep level. I’m yet to find discover someone…………
Clause, I feel your pain in your words. It’s rare that you had the unique opportunity to connect at such a deep level. I’m yet to find discover someone…………
This was a very insightful video but the background with the parallel vertical details was distracting, and hurtful to the eyes.. otherwise I love the video.
Jealousy gets in a way of being my best. Thinking that a man in front of me is in romantic relationship with others
After an ego crushing divorce, I think I may have become too independent.
At some point, trying over and over again is making me think it’s “not in the cards”for me.
99Food Cupom de desconto
You’re right I’m not telling my store in such a way to make someone want to date me If I’m being honest I’m exhausted. I cant put myself out there anymore. I guess Im giving up.I feel it’s just safer to just stay home with my dog and not be rejected by someone who can’t communicate or is just lying about his intensions. All the games and the rules and texting and not texting. Anyway thank you and congrats on the baby.
Another amazing article Matt
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