Why don’t you have a man yet?!
Oh…you’re still single? But why?
Uh-oh. Better find a relationship while you still have time!
Any of these sound familiar? If you’re single, I’m sure they will.
Whether it’s in Hollywood romcoms, glossy magazines, or even just your mother’s nagging, there seems to be a constant assumption in the world that being single is the WORST THING EVER.
Maybe you even secretly feel this way yourself.
But you shouldn’t. Being single is totally underrated. In fact, it can be so much fun that you wonder why anyone would ever want a relationship to begin with. In this week’s blog video, I’m joined by a very special guest, my friend Lewis Howes, former pro-athlete and host of the School of Greatness podcast.
I’ve followed Lewis’s work for a while now, and I’m thrilled he agreed to come and share his top 5 reasons why being single can be the opportunity of a lifetime, and why you should savour every second of being free and unattached while you can. It’s a really fun and insightful video, with some genius practical tips for making your life extraordinary so that you can truly appreciate yourself and have a world that bring you happiness and fulfillment.
As you know, I don’t have guests in my video blogs very often, so you can trust me when I say that Lewis provides incredible value.
Click Here to Purchase Lewis’ Book, The School of Greatness
Love this!! I’m proud to say I’ve learned all of those things over the years, better at some than Others!!
I’m 26 and have only had 1 short relationship in my life thus far. Only in the last two years have I really been intentional about meeting new people, dating, and really embracing who I am Mostly due to the FTTMR program.
That said, I’ve had a long time to become okay with being single. In fact, that first relationship was a huge shock because I had become so accustomed to being independent and free. A lot of the same things you guys said I repeat to my friends all the time. It’s a beautiful time of life that I may never get the chance to enjoy again.
I’m about to apply for a program that, if accepted, will place me in a different country for six months. It’s terrifying, and yet there is no better time than now.. before my time is governed by a relationship, or kids, or a time consuming job.
Anywho, I think my favorite of both of your points was the bit about “dating yourself” and not being afraid to do things alone. I volunteer at a performing arts center where I get to see Broadway musicals, ballet, and opera for free. I applied because it was something I loved. At first it was weird to do this by myself, I begged friends to join and it never worked out. but I found myself enjoying dressing up, going out, talking to strangers, making new friends, enjoying the arts, and escaping reality for a few hours. Completely single. I’ve never met one guy doing this, Mostly because they’re all married or gay haha, but it’s become one of my most favorite things to do.
Spend time doing what you love. That’s how to enjoy being single.
go to the art gallery and drink in all that beauty without having to talk to anyone, give your opinion or rush
always dress up for life
remember how he once looked at you like you couldn’t ever get it wrong, how he said your name so gently and treasure those memories, be glad for having known such a special person
walk through an avenue of trees very early in the morning
dare to take off your runners and socks and walk barefoot in the grass, this is magic!
Dear Barb,
Thanks for your post. The timing could not be more perfect. I especially like where you say “remember how he once looked at you like you couldn’t ever get it wrong, how he said your name so gently and treasure those memories, be glad for having known such a special person”, for as of a few weeks ago I lost my lover and best friend suddenly and tragically. In my grief I now take one day at a time. To get back to me and who I was prior to his passing. I drink in the warmth of the beauty of a sunrise. I do “dress up for life” and “have walked barefoot through the grass”. I couldn’t agree with you more! It is healing and most magical! Once again.. Thank you for your post. :)
Hi,
I was pleased to here you talk about enjoying being single and doing things on your own. I particularly likes Lewis sayng that he used to take himself on dates.
Frankly, you both should do a special video to tell guys to do that. I see so many single women enjoying being alone or single and men hanging out in groups of friends or not going out at all if it’s not with someone.
I would love to see more guys enjoying their single lives as well and boy would they meet a lot of interesting single women I take a walk on the beach daily and we are so many women sun bathing alone and…no guys. :-) Thanks for all you guys are doing, both in your fields. You rock!
Lewis, you helped me launch a really great webinar thanks to your online course!
I have always subscribed to being content with being single. It’s not always easy to be happy while single but it is the best way to handle it. I am 37 and am single and have been for most of those years of my life. I find all of the tips that you gave very helpful through this time period and want to work on being my best self so that when the right man does come along, he only enhances my already happy life. Thanks for emphasizing this topic and encouraging the single population that it is ok to be single.
Thought-provoking video Matt and Lewis.
I’m enjoying the single life and making time for the most important person-me!
I agree with one of the earlier posts left here and that is to dress your best, all of the time. Take those clothes that you’re saving for a special occasion and wear them NOW.
Use this opportunity to play around with your look, take chances. Forget that you “can’t wear skirts” or “orange doesn’t suit me.” You’ll be surprised. This applies to make up too ladies, try a different lipstick, learn to curl your eyelashes if you don’t know how. You won’t get this opportunity to be so selfish again!!
nice video..not sure why being single has ever been a bad thing. I happen to love it, yes it gets lonely sometimes but so does being married to the wrong person! I’ve come to take chances in my life as I get older and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. I feel when it doesn’t it wasn’t the right person! I love my life and being single is an adventure!
Favorite bromance ever :)
Hello guys!
What I have been loving the most about being single is to be able to have all this time to discover more what I want for myself, without considering another being other than myself. So I have a better reference of what I want to my life whatever path do I take.
PS. And I loved the picture behind “I’m grateful for”
Xoxo
Love that Mariana – self-discovery is a great reason to take some time to yourself.
What I like about being single is that I can buy whatever I want and don’t have to explain to anyone. I am finding myself and not worrying out what someone will think.
My favorite thing about being single is being able to do whatever I want whenever I want. I do not live by most of my family, so a few weekends ago I decided to go home for the night, just because I could. I travel all over the place to visit friends and family without having to wonder how it will affect my time with a significant other. When I want to go out shopping or to grab a coffee, or even to put in some extra time at work, I can just go. I can’t imagine ever giving up this spontaneity!
Love yourself first.
Jesus said that is the most important commandment. The Dali Lama said that selfishness is the highest form of altruism. If you take care of yourself, you can give to others from a place of strength. It is easier to love yourself when you are single and the only person that you need to take care of is YOU.
When I was single I got to a point, as Matthew described, of feeling down because I would go out in the evenings and meet people that left me disappointed. Three things I did before I met my boyfriend was 1. I created routine for myself where I would focus on skills that I wanted to foster everyday. I would meditate, and I would juggle (okay I can’t believe I just admitted that, but I did!), 2. I stopped thinking about being single and I made the conscious decision to stop feeling sorry for myself. It felt like I was in this vicious cycle where I would keep asking myself the same questions like when am I going to meet someone? why am I single? why does this keep happening to me. I just didn’t give myself permission to keep running this script through my head, and I just realized it’s going to happen when it’s going to happen. Lastly, 3. I stopped having expectations. When I went out, or I was in a scenario where I thought I might meet someone, I decided to not be disappointed if I didn’t. I instead made the decision to make my nights out about being with friends not about meeting a guy. I think this single shift really helped. If you asked me how was my night, you’d find me saying “I had a great night, the food was soo good and it was really fun seeing Bianca” not, “yeah, it was okay, but I didn’t meet anyone”.
I think this ties into how to enjoy being single by learning how to live in the moment. I think you meet the right guy when you’re busy making other plans and enjoying life :)
Hi Matthew and Lewis, thank you for posting this video!
I have found that in being single, I have discovered this new found appreciation for my life – for who I am, for what I have and what I believe in. This appreciation led to a greater sense of gratitude and over all has helped me to be a happier person. Plus, I recognize good in others, see it so much more clearly, and it has helped me to pinpoint things I want for myself, in my life, and in a partner.
All of this has helped me to let go of past hurt and regret, thus ensuring that I don’t punish anyone new in my life for something that is not their fault. A clean slate that I am thankful to have!
why do men committ adultery
Happily single for a year now, I’ve found this to be a great time to discover or fortify my tastes and skills in areas that I left to my exes out of comfort. Sometimes I feel like Julia Roberts looking for the way she best likes her eggs in Runaway Bride.
Learning to like as well as love yourself is the key. When you like being with you and your comfortable in your own skin, people see this and respond positively. Most important though, you can always go and do the things you like and never be held back because your alone.
Thank you for this timely video! Recently a friend of mine mentioned that she’s sick of the whole glamorization of being single by the media and thinks that it’s a major issue with her inability to find a good man whom is ready to settle down and start a family. I argued that her inability to find a man that wants to settle is due to the lack of vision/narrow vision she has of what a romantic married life looks like. I believe the more ownership we take for our own happiness by creating opportunities that bring us joy, the more fulfilled we would be. Looking forward to reading Lewis Howes’ book. Thanks again for making this video…inspired me to finish writing my children’s book.
Do things on pourpse to show yourself self love. Example give yourself a spa day. If you can’t afford a professional day. You can do this for yourself at home. Candle lit bath, followed by restorative yoga or Give yourself a facial. Any of the things you would enjoy your mate to do for you, do them for yourself. It helps to grow your self love and respect.
Bring Lewis back! You are both very charming/ inspiring and have a wonderful positive energy. Thank you for the video.
I also really love the poster on the wall behind you that says “I’m grateful for…”
Thinking about what you’re grateful for each day is a great way to appreciate life.
I think volunteering at nonprofit organizations is a great way to spend your single time. You can make your community a better place and learn new things. Also, there’s something refreshing about giving your free time to helping others. Usually, these places are filled with passionate, caring people and you might just make a new best friend.