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Insights from the male mind (Today Show feature)

Yesterday I was back on The Today Show. They are calling my segment “The Other View” – ha!

I wanted to post the video here on the blog as it has some important lessons. Hope you enjoy!

It looks like I might be doing a more regular slot so I’ll be able to bring you more of these as we go.

Here are the big takeaways from the show…

1) How to show someone they are appreciated (outside of the bedroom)

It’s the little things that count here.

Women get paid compliments a lot more than guys, and it’s easy to forget the impact that telling a guy he’s handsome can have.

When you get back from work, give him a huge hug and tell him how much you’ve missed him (note: this is NOT ‘needy’. Needy would be getting home and asking, ‘did you miss me?’.)

Make him feel like a man. Ask him to teach you something, be curious, back him up where appropriate around other people. Loyalty is key to a relationship!

2) How to get him to call or text more (without asking

You have to tell someone what your formula is for feeling loved, as we all have different rules.

Kathie Lee had a great line, “don’t expect something if you’ve not made it known that it’s something that you need”.

While your standard might be to hear from him 4 times a week, his might be just once, and so you need to make him aware of what you expect and communicate your rules to him.

Doing so can be as simple as saying, “This is how I feel loved. I know it’s different to how you feel loved, but it’s important to me.”

3) I had a baby three months ago. I don’t feel sexy at all. How do I explain to him that I’m not there mentally?

Start by accepting that he’s still a man, and that he has the same needs and desires that he did before you ever got pregnant.

You have the ability to still feel attractive and turned on, even if it doesn’t feel as natural right now. Help him understand what he can do to make you feel that way. Remember the dynamic of the relationship hasn’t shifted and that he still wants to be the hero.

Question of the day: What does a guy have to do to make you feel loved? Let me know in the comments below!


I’ve got a few more weeks of travel. The last two tour dates are Dallas (Sat May 11) & Seattle (Sat May 18). Sign up now!

To get more insight into men, check out my online home-study programme The Man Myth. In it you will learn the A–Z of what men think, how to generate unstoppable attraction, and how to win him to your way of thinking. Check it out here.

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101 Replies to “Insights from the male mind (Today Show feature)”

  • Hi!!!

    I love your book and your videos!!!
    You were great on the today show.
    Hope to see you soon in Mexican territory ;)

  • Hi Mathew, Your videos and articles are awesome, very useful and funny. I was wondering if you do personal coaching online or via emails or those group events and online program is the only option. And if you do where I can find more detailed info about that ? Thanks Ema

    1. Hey Ema,

      It’s hard for me to do personal coaching these days, and it’s very expensive for my clients. if you’re really serious about it feel free to send us an email info@gettheguy.co.uk and we’ll see what we can do.

      Otherwise, the no.1 place to catch me is on one of my two retreats this year. I have one in Florida in October and one in Palm Springs in December. They are really powerful, the ultimate coaching experience. You can check them out in the live events section of our site: http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/events/

      Look forward to seeing you soon!

      Matthew x

  • What if the man of your dreams is shaping up to be none other than Mr. Matthew Hussey? Any tips for getting the guy? ;)


      1. In that case would you prefer eat Mexican tacos wih a cold bear or just take a cup of English tea on our dinner tomorrow at 7pm latinamerica time ? Jajajaja

      2. So, I need only get in the same room with you then. You should make a stop in Tucson. You look like you could use a trip to the desert. Most folks find it blisteringly alluring.


  • And when you tell them you feel special when you hear from them more than once or twice a week, and they see it as “pointless texts” because I already know what he’s doing during the week, (work, school, gym), and they don’t change it, then lose ’em right?

    1. Hey Paula,

      If you’ve made clear it’s important to you and he can’t do it, you have to decide if it’s a deal breaker for you. Can you adapt and stop it from bothering you? If it’s not something you can move past and you don’t like the fact that he’s not prepared to be there in the ways that you need him, then you may choose to leave. You’ll know in your gut what feels right.

      M x

  • First of all, love your blog and your videos, they are absolutely amazing!
    I do have a question, about a month ago i met this guy at a bar in a city close to were i live, in the first encounter he was very straightforward and came up to me, while standing with my girlfriends, only seconds after we’d walked past him. I took this as a definite sign that he knew what he wanted. Anyway, later on I made it clear to him that I wasn’t going to sleep at his place that night but he still asked for my number. Also he thought it was nice that I lived so close to the city. I really felt connected to this guy, and a few days later he texts me and all was well, he even mentioned that we should meet again. The same night I sent him a friend request on Facebook and the following days he wouldn’t answer my texts for hours or even at all, haven’t spoken with him since.
    What could I possibly have done wrong, did he not like my pictures on Facebook or what haha?


    1. Hey Ida,

      I want you to stop analysing it and move on. Just because the guy faded it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It could just be he met someone else the night after he met you, or that he does this type of thing all the time and doesn’t follow up with people. It’s no big deal.

      It’s cool that it happened, and it WILL happen again. So just keep moving forward and forget about him.

      M x

      1. I love how you give this advice without being judgmental of him.

        How can someone be less judgmental?

        See, I tend to judge like everything in life. LIke I have a strong opinion about – well, just about everything. Makes me, err… “high maintenance”

  • Hi Matthew !! I love the post today! I think to feel love I need he invest the same I invest to him that means that he show me he care for me and do special things like make a cup of tea and heard me when I feel bad or ask me about thinks he knows are importan to me … Or just send a little text message to say thanks for care for me when I see you again we will spend great time together . I had a problem right now because I apply the advicese I read in get the guy book and I lose one of my best friends he really misunderstood what I try to say so he don’t want to talk anymore and I don’t see him since long time I feel sad lose not only a guy I really like it but also a great friend =( I don’t know what to do but my train most keep on moving ….

    1. Hey Jazmine,

      Nothing is so black and white that it can’t be changed. If he is a real friend he’ll come back into your life. Give it time. It’s amazing how things turn around that you never thought would go back to how they were. Stay strong, and keep building your amazing life.

      M x

      1. Thanks Matthew !! I hope he come back but if he don’t then I make myself cleaver and stronger after all how to learn what my friend Matthew teach me if we don’t take risk, right? If he is not mr right then there is other near me or may be I should fly to uk if I don’t find mr right there I find mr Austin powers or mr hussey =) to drink of cup of tea I will behave =P jajajaja thanks for be a good friend Matthew have great day

        1. Do you have plans to come Mexico to give tour here about get the guy? By the way I forgot to tell you I love the book is funny and teach me lots of things specially about myself and that is the most importan =) I even remember things about myself I had lot time with out remember or think about . And help me answerd the big question I had for long time WHY? Now understand everything I can move on =) with more security now thanks Matthew muchas gracias. Amigo!!!

  • I love reading/watching your material- you make great points and make them practical and easy to apply.

    For me, a guy makes me feel loved when he takes an interest in my interests!

    Also, any chance your team is hiring??

    Dana XO

  • Desperately waiting for your book to arrive down under! Have ordered it …. and want to pick up all your amazing tips and tricks.

    Keep doing what you’re doing – the advice is invaluable, easy to take on board and replicable.

    Thanks Matthew – you are proof that there are some genuinely helpful, (good hearted from what I can interpret !), kind and funny guys out there…. please keep sending them our way…. and Australia isn’t that difficult a place to get to any more (hint hint nudge nudge)!

    1. Hey Natalie!

      Thanks for your kind words. I can’t wait to see what you think of the book!

      Cheers for leaving a comment, and who knows maybe I’ll be in Oz in the future running my events : )


      1. I’m going to be a nag and second a trip to Australia. We need you more – demographically speaking, there are less men here for every woman, so we need all the help we can get! :)

  • What I took from that was ‘how to be charming while on the spot.’ You do that so well…!

    It’s one thing to be charming and well spoken on your own time, but another to be that “live” Any tips?

    1. Hey Foxdance,

      i appreciate that! The truth is the only way to do it is to ben in the moment and have fun. you can’t anticipate everything that could happen in a live moment like this, so you have to be nimble and ready to absorb whatever comes your way.

      It’s like waterskiing, you don’t straighten your legs and lock them, or you’d never be able to absorb the waves. You have to bend your legs and keep them bouncy and ready to absorb anything!

      M x

      1. Beautiful analogy!

        I loved reading this interview of yours:

        you are such a bookworm! it’s totally hot

        honestly I was just watching the great gatsby (movie) trailer today and thought the movie is a bit depressing… what with gatsby gazing across at the green light which signified his love for daisy and her being married to some guy named tom and all. the love part of it makes me really sad.

        but look at you, looking at the positive sides to the book , as in everything!

        I really admire you!

  • I found myself smiling through the whole thing…you have the best energy! I’ve been watching you since your Youtube videos and your advice is always spot on.

    I notice how amazingly natural you are at flirting–I know that I (and other friends of mine) would love for you to expand on how to flirt and the line between cute teasing & sarcasm. You say, ‘Be playful and cheeky’ but to the flirting inept, that’s like telling a kid to ‘act more grown up’. So, it’d be great to hear specific examples of breaking rapport. A blog post with dialogue/video, perhaps? :) Or, at the Dallas event? We heart you & we’ll see you there!!

  • “What does a guy have to do to make you feel loved?” – When a guy simply sets aside some quality time just for me, even if he’s really busy with other stuff.

    1. By the way Matthew, I’m currently reading your book and it’s great, i’m learning a ton! I hope you come back to Toronto soon, I missed you’re last visit!

  • Hi Matt!

    I have your book and after finishing the first section, there was so much great information that I had to re-read to make sure I picked up everything! To answer your question of the day, I feel loved when they ask me about my day. I prefer simple, genuine interest that shows they care over the over-the-top gestures. Oh and bonus points for trying to cheer me up if I’ve had a bad day! :)


  • Hi Matthew ! You are so much fun to watch and listen to ! It shows that you had a bal ! Those ladies do talk a lot but I know you’ll be able to get in there and fight the information out to people who really want to hear and learn ! Keep up the good work ! You are a natural in front of a camera sweetie ! This is NOT the last thing you’ll do in showbusiness for sure ! Hugs !

  • Hi Matthew,

    Do you have an email address where people can ask you for advice privately regarding really embarassing situations?

    Still waiting for your book and would like your advice.

    Thank you so much, I hope to hear from you.

  • well, i think i feel loved when i feel respected, it might be weird, but when i communicate my needs and this are met by the one that i love, i feel that love in return, i guess if i don’t feel respected with a guy that makes himself be respected by me i don’t feel this transference of love. yeah, it definitely sounds weird, but that is just me.

  • matt, your video before that you feel not sad enough but you still confindence and on this video you’re great…..
    thanks matt……..

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