If regret is holding you back from moving on in your life and being happy in the present, my newest video is literally the most important thing you can do with the next 5 minutes of your day…
Transform Your Pain into the Change You Deserve.
Learn How → http://www.MatthewHusseyRetreat.com
Have you got regrets? Things you look at in your life and you think, “I wish I’d done that differently? That was a giant mistake.” Things that have brought you pain and suffering. My goal for you by the end of this video is that you will have taken something extremely painful in your life, for which you are currently beating yourself up, and moved away from regretting that thing, and into being grateful for that thing.
When we wish we hadn’t done something, when we wish that things could have been different, we’re also erasing the realization that came from it. And so in a sense, we end up back at square one, a place of ignorance, a place of not knowing that that mistake has consequences, not knowing that those actions, those behaviors are going to lead to pain or suffering in our lives.
Now, you may say, “But on a logical level, I did know that if I kept doing that thing or if I made that mistake, it would create pain, and I did it anyway.” But a logical realization isn’t the same as an emotional realization. A logical realization you can kind of ignore. An emotional realization is a moment where the pain of having done something is so great that we vow never to do it again. Like putting our hand in a flame as a child, and realizing that this hurts. This is something to be aware of, to be wary of.
Often in life, one of the things we forget is that if we erase the mistake, it’s not just that we erase the realization that the mistake has given us, that’s going to contribute to growth in the future. It’s also the case that we could set ourselves up for a much bigger fall. It’s like saying if you didn’t put your hand in the fire as a kid, then as an adult you could walk into the fire and burn alive, right? That could be life threatening.
So having our hand burned can actually be the thing that saves us from something much bigger. The marriage that you got out of, where you beat yourself up for making the mistake of marrying that person in the first place, or the mistakes you made in the relationship you wish you hadn’t made. Making those mistakes there can actually save you from a much worse fate in the future with that person, or with somebody else.
The mistakes that are causing us the most pain also open us up to the most growth. We’ve heard that idea before, that life isn’t what you get, it’s who you become, right? Who you going to become in life?
Change, firstly, is extremely difficult. It rarely comes in cozy, and enjoyable ways, where we just one day delicately resolve to change something, and then we work on this organic path to change it. It’s naive to think that that’s how change happens. Usually the most drastic changes in our lives come from the most drastic moments of pain and suffering. Moments where we decide we have to do something about a behavior. And if that’s the case, then the suffering we’re going through now, the pain that we’re going through, is a kind of change tax. It’s the price we pay for the person we’re about to become.
So the next time you think about one of your mistakes, the next time you’re beating yourself up, living in a place of regret about something you’ve said, a behavior you’ve had, a mistake you’ve made, I want you to flip that and see it as, “This is a price I’m paying for the reward of the change I’m about to get. The person I’m about to become. The realization that this is giving me for my entire future.”
Now, can those mistakes be costly? Of course they can. But I would argue that the reward is always there. And the reward can be equivalent to the price you’re paying. In fact, the reward can be even greater, because it’s one that will pay dividends for you for the rest of your life.
Do not make the mistake of thinking that this realization, this change, this growth that you’re about to have could have happened without you having made the mistake. The mistake is what gave you the realization. So as much as you may be angry at the mistake, as much as you may be wanting to feed into that regret, you have to understand the gift, the benefit, the reward that that has given you. You paid the price. Now get what you paid for: the change.
Have a go at this today. Take something that you’ve been beating yourself up about, something you wish you could go back and change. And right now, instead of wishing that you could go back and reverse that mistake, be grateful, and be accepting that this is the price you have just paid for a change you’re about to get in your future. And take a moment to write down what that change is going to be. Be conscious about it.
And if you want to do this with me as part of a much bigger process to determine your beautiful future, I have my Retreat program coming up this year. It’s a six day program where we take everything that’s happened in your life, and we use it to create the most beautiful future you could ever imagine. Not in spite of your mistakes, not in spite of your challenges, but because of them.
It’s MatthewHusseyRetreat.com. Apply here now. When you click through to this link, you’ll get the chance to fill out an application form, speak to one of my Specialists, clarify what you want for your life, so that even if you don’t make it to the Retreat, the phone call itself will be valuable. And I will see you, I hope, on my Retreat soon.