The Secret to Being Strong When You’re Feeling Weak

In this week’s episode of LOVELife, I discuss an important life lesson from the book “The Catcher in the Rye” along with a secret to coaching that can change the way you deal with life’s difficult moments.

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47 Replies to “The Secret to Being Strong When You’re Feeling Weak”

  • I love your commentary on Catcher in the Rye. It’s one of my all time favorite books. I think what you drew from the underlying theme was incredibly sensitive and insightful. Thank you for your blog. It’s become one of my favorite “Goddess Time” (when I beef up my mind, body, spirit) rituals!

  • M: I’m in between patients having lunch and just listened to you talk. This did hit home. The need to focus outside of ourselves when we’re down is difficult but not insurmountable. I’ve come out of a painful breakup and thought I could never feel joy again… Bunk on that! Every day I work with people to help them remain independent. I’ll say this with a good heart. My patient take care of me. They don’t know it but every time I work with someone I come away with a little more joy back in my life. Thanks for reminding me! Well time to go get some more joy! deb

  • Excellent video Matt! I like that you are giving us variety and using literature as a vehicle is great. I myself can assure that your advice works, because it has happened to me in the past. Helping others makes you step out of your “grief bubble” quite fast. Now, though this may be very helpful in life, I think it could be dangerous in love relationships. I personally think your best love relationships came when you are feeling your best. Some people find the “victims waiting to be rescued” very attractive, yet once you have been “rescued” a different story emerges.

  • hey Matthew that was really touching and true, everyone feels weak at a certain point, I have a question do you think that if a girl who has a strong personality does it mean she is smart? or its not related? Thank you btw all your videos are very helpful <3 tc

  • Thanks so much matthew for posting this amazing inspiring video when i needed it. :D

    First i wanna say i been there in such situation my parents are gonna to divorce and i’m really strulling at the moment. It’s so hard to be postive to be honest.
    But i working now by the mcdonald’s and i have found my distaction when i’m working but when i’m home my thoughts are going everywhere affcourse i have to move with my mom and my sisters. And we are saerching for a renthouse at the moment it is really diffucult to keep it out that long with my mom and dad together luckly they are not gonna to split up with fighting. But my father is getting angry so much faster than before.
    And altough i have some moments that i wanna give up.
    but my person is life to be strong for is my grandma she means alott to me. and im so luckly the she is still here. and the other persons are my sister and my mother who’s is gonna trough also alott at this moment.

    and recently i have met a nice guy at work and were always talking trough messasges.
    haha yesterday i ask him : I give you a challenge now to say something postive about me. and he said back that he was too tired to think because he has sit 8 hours in the train. Than i said i could be something small. And than he said : Your a sweet postive little girl. ?
    What does that mean i guy languge? Please Help me matthew.

    I also think your video was really aspiring for people that going through a hard time as well it really helped me alott. Your a really inspiring person as well.
    I’m really glad that you are having your own radio as well.

    I hope your having a nice day.

    Lovely greetz From Thirza from the Netherlands :)

  • You put it so well. I was not weak or depressed but when my son was born into intensive care, I went to visit him at four in the morning, looked at him fighting for life and just knew I had to fight for him, to be strong for him. I have been ever since and although my marriage disintegrated, in many ways he couldn’t cope, and although my son will not lead a long life I feel so strong and have so much to live for. I have never wished for a different life or feel he is a burden. He is bright and loves living life to the full so I fill his life to be as interesting and rewarding as I can. To the point where I now feel so strong I can extend that help or charity beyond my family and begin to have influence for good in a wider sphere.

    1. Enough about me. I was just trying to say how moving it is when you talk like that. It reminds us how valuable your advice is and that for all your success and living in a glitzy environment you still emotionally connect with your followers ( for want of a better word). I remember my reply to a blog piece you did a while back when you sat in the garden with a beautiful lady, who had experienced a terrible tragedy in her life, and I was full of trepidation whilst on the surface remaining to everyone’s amazement cheery and full of optimism. What’s on the outside is now congruent with what’s on the inside and that is in part down to you. Thank you.
      I hope I’ve conveyed my message clearly, I don’t want it to read like I’m a strange, unbalanced stalker type and I’m sure you don’t need my validation but I just wanted to extend my gratitude and wish you more deserved success in the future.

  • Wow..this really got me thinking..been through some hard times..and now i think i know what to do with it..helping others is def the way to go..and to get through and be whole again..i think..thank you!

  • What happens when you are tired of always being the strong one when live seems to constantly throw you curve balls?

  • Matt, I have a dilemma. I have just recently moved to a new city and have been looking for somewhere to live. I found an amazing 2 bedroom flat. The only problem is, the guy living in this flat is amazing too. We met for drinks and a chat about the flat and really connected. We were out for like 2 hours he wanted to buy dinner but I insisted that I get home as I had early work commitments. He walked me to my station and when we parted, he hugged me and snuck a cheeky kiss on the cheek in. He’s really keen to have me as his house mate as he feels we get on well and wants me to join his weekly mixed touch rugby team. He is so handsome and I agree, we do get on well. I’m just not sure what to do because to live with him would be intense, it may not work out because I fancy him and if he is not interested, just flirtatious it will make life hard…. help xx

    1. Hey… I know you’re not asking for my advice, but I have to say that while reading your post I expected you to continue reading that you were uncomfortable with the idea of a romantically interested roommate-situation, but that’s clearly not the case.

      I just wanted to say that Him sneaking in a kiss on the cheek is definately a sign that he’s interested in you. It seemed to me you were unsure if he was… i’d definately say he is.

      It’s probably a bad idea to have an affair with a roommate in a new city… but interested he is! That’s my opinion at least… I’m curious to see what others are saying.

      Maybe ask him out for a date, if it gets serious you can always move in as a couple… having seperate rooms give you more space and independence… great should you break up… but I personally would be hesitant about moving in as roommates with a flirt who I wanted to date.

  • This is an awesome message and so true. Thanks matt. I really look forward to more ‘life lessons from literature. How about a “view from a bridge”?

  • This segment made me want to read “Catcher” again. It also made me think of how my sons saved me from wallowing when I was at my lowest. I had to pull myself together and take care of them. I am truly fortunate to have them in my life. Thank you for this.

  • I agree with this one every level. I’m currently studying medicine. Even if Im exhausted I still try to give me time back by volunteering at a student run clinic for the underserved. It could be dermatology night, neuro night, gynecology night, or internal medicine. I have the normal stresses of about time, keeping my standards hard to learn all this information and retain it. But when you walk into that clinic, it’s real and you are dealing with a person with REAL problems.

    These moments give you true meaning of Gratitude.

    Thank you for what you do!

    kiss kiss

  • One of the best videos yet. I appreciate this not only for it’s timeliness for myself, but for how fundamental it is for becoming just a good human being.

  • Matt, this was SO needed!! Very timely. Can’t begin to express the positive repercussions this will have on my life.

  • Matt, this was beautiful!! A very meaningful message for everyone, because no one can be strong all the time, forever. For those of us without children, and without a spouse it’s easier to convince yourself you’re not needed here, or loved enough to stay, but it is very often a lie we tell ourselves to make that feeling of running away more ok. But just like Holden finally deciding to stay because of his love for his sister, there truly are others out there for all of to stay for. I recently went through some very challenging and painful health issues which had me feeling very angry and sort of life isn’t fair and why me, but I found refuge and relief from my own horrible situation through being there for other sufferers of my illness and discovered that by standing up for their mistreatment helped me stand up for my own. So I can testify to this lesson truly working!! I love that you worked literature into your lesson and would love to see more of it. Brilliantly done!

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