Should Guys Still Hold Open Doors For Women? (Today Show)

I’m back in New York for The Today Show and it looks like they’re making me a more permanent feature… You’ll see why in the video…

(Having trouble viewing the video? Try this link instead.)

From the video…

“Is a guy not interested in me if he plans a date night and calls right before to say that he also has plans with his friends so can they join?”

Give him the benefit of the doubt if it’s the first time that night he’s done something like this, and go and be charming with his friends.

This can be a great chance to show off a little, as a guy’s attraction for you will go through the roof if his friends are impressed. This isn’t something that we like to admit, but it’s true of women with guys too.

“I just started dating again after years of marriage and I’m not sure of the rules these days. Should I let a guy pay for me and open my car door, or are those days over?”

Guys aren’t taught right.

I just shot a video on this titled ‘Is Chivalry Dead?’. Firstly, this area has become incredibly confusing for guys. We’re in a world now where women are crazy powerful in relation to us, and we’re trying to figure out where we still matter.

Guys have run out of so many ways of impressing women that they should be holding onto all of the remaining ways they can! A guy should look to go the extra mile – to open the car door, to cover the bill… – because it’s immediately going to separate him from every other guy.

If your guy doesn’t do these things, his actions aren’t set in stone. You have to have the confidence to enforce a certain standard.

If he’s never been ‘conditioned’ to do these things, but meets you and you convey that that’s your standard, then he’ll begin to do it if he really wants to impress you.

Communicate your expectations by saying something like, “I would love for you to do this for me.” and give him a chance to live up to them.

Question of the day: What one chivalrous act do you think all men should do?

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36 Replies to “Should Guys Still Hold Open Doors For Women? (Today Show)”

  • I want my own cartoon too!!!! I envy you…

    About the question… I know it sounds silly but I would love to find a guy that when I´m wearing high heels doesn´t go in the speed of ligth while we are walking and undestands that with high heels I can not go as fast as with other shoes. Or when I ask him to walk slow because of that doesn´t look at me with a semi angry face and ask me why I put high heels.

    1. I was thinking the same! xD Matthew is sooo, young…And already has a book publish, a cartoon, a good business and some fans. It makes me feel like I should move and do something important, too, xDD.

  • One chivalrous act all men should do: If the guy is picking you up for a date, he should get out of the car and come to the door or where ever you are. I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel automatically feel underappreciated when I get a text saying “I’m here” or “U ready?” Get your ass out of the car and find out. Don’t even think about honking the horn. Not sure if this only happens to me, but it is plain rude.

  • love your cartoon, congrats,

    i have 2 amazing dates with this guy i just met, and he recently got cold… i text him and i ask him is there is something wrong, he said i though the same from you, then i tell him that i want to see him again, and them he avoid the messege, is there a way to make him ask me on a date again- or i have to move on…

    ple matt some help

  • Hi Matt!

    Loved this post and the last one. To me is very easy. I know that we are in s “girl power” world and that men and women are equals, but this doesn’t apply to every situation and the lightning hint is that men are stronger than women, as a fact. So, in my case I really appreciate when a man opens the door of a place for me (they look very caring/nice/polite) or when they offer to carry some heavy thing I may be walking with or even offering me their seat in some public transportation.

    On the other hand, I really don’t need a man to open the door of the car (it’s senseless that I wait in the car until he gets off, turn to my side and open my door while I’m perfectly capable of doing it!)

    So, for me cavalry is important and makes difference on how a man treats you. If he should pay the bills all the time .. I don’t think so, but in the first one

    it becames a must hehe :)

    Hugs and thx for your messages!

  • Love ur cartoon!!! ^_^ and we have the same age!
    Last weekend i was having dinner with a group a friends, and we were talking about this…chivalry, and one of my male friend was was saying that if women “won” the same rights, paying for dinner, cinema or even open the doors…guys dont have to do it anymore…!
    and i was really sad, because i couldnt change his mind….and he have ur age, and is this kind of guy or generation i could have in the future? no, thanks!…thats why im single but i have stantards! :) kisses!

  • Hey Matt,
    I think men should definitely offer help when a woman carries a bag or something bigger/heavier. It seems obvious, but it is not!
    I`d like to ask you this.. What value do the answers of your questions here on blog bring into your life as Matt, not the dating coach? Thank you and take care! :)
    P.S. Your last video was pretty amazing :)

  • Great clip Matt! Yes, by a wide margin, a man who takes the time to open my car door sets himself apart and above the men who don’t.
    I like sitting and waiting for him to come around to open my door for a few reasons. #1 is as you say, it’s his chance to be a man for me. #2 I have injured my back opening heavy doors before, so it is a safety factor. And #3 it allows me to more elegantly exit the vehicle while managing my purse, skirt, heels etc., and receive his assistance at the same time. It’s a win-win for me: I feel more feminine and he feels more masculine.

  • Of cause guys should open a car door for us, especially after we “dropped a handkerchief.” It must be “50/50” contribution :)

  • Lovely. Happy for you that you’ve become a fixture & well-received. One door closed and this one has opened. Yay!

  • what i see (chivalry) is something natural .it’s inside of us . it can be appear when men understand women . so we have to make men understand us (how) by telling them what we want .

  • Chivalry has already been at the top for me. And for some it just comes naturally at any age. I still enjoy being picked up for the date. There are those who walk me to my car, if drove separately and/or to the door, as well. It will definitely set them apart.

  • Matthew,
    As an older woman who knows what she wants I would definitely be able, and have, voiced what I would expect from a guy. If I was cooking a meal or having a movie night in, it is polite to bring a bottle of wine or flowers. I think to turn up empty handed is rude.
    It is also chivalrous to offer a compliment. My little boy was getting his teddies in bed tonight, I heard him say to one of them “you smell nice” “well thank you”. Goes to show at a young age what boys will pick up on.
    Kathryn xx

  • My boyfriend always opens the car door for me and I love it. I tell him regularly how much I appreciate it.
    It makes me feel cared for, valued and confirms that I’m going out with a true gentleman.
    I do feel sorry for men who have not been raised with manners but all it takes is for a high value woman to show that man that it matters to you to reverse poor manners.

  • Lol love it! Chivalry is dead lol NO but it is rare so when a guy does open the door or shows respect… …… It throws me off in a good way. Part of me is like I can open my own door but then I’m like accept like compliment. So with that being said th most chivalrous thing a guy has done would be…. Protecting me fo some creepy homeless man I hadn’t even notice because I was too busy talking to him jajajaja too bad he has a Girlfriend one lucky girl.

  • I feel awkward when someone opens doors for me. I feel awkward when they walk behind me. I met a guy and later he chewed me out because there were times I did not want to take the lead. He asked me how is he to protect me if something were to happen when I would be behind him. I had no idea this is how guys feel. It sort of made me feel good that he wanted to protect me. :)

    1. I feel awkward because I have to turn and wait for him to open the door if I am going to allow him to do it for me. Now if he walked a few steps ahead of me and encountered the door before me, then I would be more at ease.

  • Imagine if every female on the planet respected and enforced high standards with men instead of lowering her expectations and undermining her own self-respect. Not only would men become better people, but the whole planet would evolve for the better. Women have the power to transform the world but we give it away to clods who aren’t worthy of us and who obviously can’t handle that power. Mediocre standards invite mediocre men and lousy relationships with them. We teach people how to treat us. Stop excusing male BS. Stop blaming yourself for his BS. Own your greatness. Own your power. I’ve recently let go of a tall, attractive, sexy, funny…clod. He proved himself unworthy and I’m moving on. It’s so empowering!

  • Some women don’t like men holding the door open for them?
    I suppose with the advent of feminism they thought it

  • If only both women and men watch and follow your advises, finding partners would be smoother & easier.

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