How Do I Get My Man To Meet The Family? (Today Show Segment)

If you missed me on The Today Show this morning, here’s the video for you…

(Having trouble viewing the video? Try this link.)

From The Video

Trisha asks…

“We’ve been dating for two years and are in the process of house-hunting. We haven’t met each other’s family yet, but I suggested that we should before buying a house together. He changes the subject every time I bring it up. What should I do?”

My response…

Family seems important to you and less important to him. That can be for one of a few reasons:

The worst reason is that he isn’t really committed. He’s not really house-hunting – he’s just going through the motions of looking at houses – but not wanting to meet your family so as to keep some level of distance from getting too involved.

Another reason might be that he’s lazy. If they’re across the country and he can’t be bothered to make the trip to meet them, there’s another part of him that might not want to do it because of that.

Ultimately the only way you’re really going to know is by asking HIM.

If he keeps avoiding the subject, start asking him why talking about family is making him uncomfortable.

You have to give him the opportunity to give you honest answers.

If you ask a guy, a lot of the time he’ll tell you.

Anne asks…

“I recently celebrated my 31st birthday. I have amazing family and friends, but the one thing I’m focused on is that I don’t have anyone to share my life with. I think that when I go on dates or try to meet men I rush things and try to force it to work. I want to get to a place where I’m happy being single and can go on dates and have fun. How do I do that?”

My response…

It sounds like right now you associate pain with being single and pleasure with being in a relationship.

There are many people in your life right now who you can celebrate things with – it doesn’t have to be just that one special someone, and there is no reason to give yourself the level of pressure you are to go out and find them.

The tendency to rush things because you want the result is the exact thing that scares guys off, and the way to not rush it is to say to yourself instead, ‘what is it I really want in a guy?’.

I’m sure there are many things you want in a relationship, but when you meet someone, after five minutes you’re currently in a place where you begin to project the relationship you want instead of the reality of what it really is.

Dating is one of the only times in life where we’re the buyer and the seller at the same time.

Right now you’re caught up in viewing yourself as the seller (‘will he want me?’), but I want you to remember you’re the buyer as well.

When you’re in the early stages of dating, focus on whether he’s right for you – and that you won’t necessarily know that for the first few months of a relationship.

Relationships are a beautiful thing, but if you’re not enough without one, you’ll never be enough with one.

I hope you enjoyed the clip!

If you’re in a similar boat to either Trisha or Anne, I would love to see you at one of my upcoming Get The Guy Tour events. I’m going to be distilling everything I have to teach about meeting and attracting your dream guy to just the core essentials you need to go out and make it happen.

Seats are running out FAST. We have a few events *sold out* already, and to make sure you get yours in time, head on over to the events page now where you can find out more about the events and book your place.

I can’t wait to meet you!

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27 Replies to “How Do I Get My Man To Meet The Family? (Today Show Segment)”

  • Can somebody please expand on the last key phrase (from the reaction of the hosts) and explain it to me please as I feel I don’t really get the essence of it (Sorry, English is not my first language):

    “Relationships are a beautiful thing, but if you’re not enough without one, you’ll never be enough with one.”


    1. So, basically a full person doesn’t need to be “completed” by a relationship. A healthy relationship takes two full people. If one feels “incomplete” or “not worthy enough” by being single, that condition is not going to change when we get a relationship.
      That’s my understanding of Matthew’s last statement.

  • “Relationships are a beautiful thing, but if you’re not enough without one, you’ll never be enough with one.” That’s gold!! I’m gonna keep reminding myself of this! Love you Matt you’re amazing :)

  • Loved it! Hey Matthew, I guess you have made clear your conditions to those hosts to have you huh? I see a very different Matt sitting there replying and those two are ACTUALLY listening!

  • I think i the opposite…im happy alone….and i think i scare guys away…because they think im too independent….or have a relationship….! :) and im just like any girl… ^_^

  • I totally understand where Ann is coming from. I don’t think it’s necessarily that we are desperate it’s that we get excited when we meet someone who is different then the rest of the guys we have been dating and sometimes have a hard time hiding our excitement. My standards are pretty high so when I do meet a guy who I feel lives up to those standards I’m over the moon, not so much for him but for the fact that there is someone out there that lives up to my expectations.

    1. I am the same. And mean you gotta open up, you can’t be scared of love if you want one. yes, you might get hurt and disappointed. it just happened to me with a guy who seemed so different from others and turned out he is living in lies and cheating. and it is hard for me to accept it because I see his potential and always see good in people. but Matt said in one of his training videos to not fall for the guys potential, fall for the guy as he is right now. and also fall for his investment in you, not in the fact that you like him. you can like sb but if they treat you like crap…what is the point? so I always focus on these things and it helps me not to get too excited and stick with my standards. of course I got emotional and disappointed, but I accept this is the part of the process ;-). in the end you let these guys go, since they ain’t not good for you.

  • Great advice today Matt. What I took away from your share today was that if you’re not enough without the relationship then you won’t be enough with one. Well said Matt. You’re a genious you sexy biatch. Happy Thanksgiving. <3 you.

  • He may not want you to meet his fsmily because he has something to hide. I had a neghbour who got a seemingly devoted and marvellous man. He turned out to be violent and abusive. When she later met his sister, the sister said “if only I’d met you, I would have tried to warn you.”. The other fact is that sadly, rarely some are two timing you and don’t want you to find out.
    In most cases I suspect Matthew is right and it’s about a lack of real committment.

  • “Relationships are a beautiful thing, but if you’re not enough without one, you’ll never be enough with one”.

    Beautifully put Matt, it made me a little teary

    Take care

    Jo x

  • That is awful! I’m sorry, but you’re telling that second girl she just has to think about things differently, which is not really a solution because it’s not that easily done, you can’t just shut up your thoughts. And if she does not manage to do that, she’ll never have a working relationship. That does not seem particularly helpful.

  • Hi Matt,

    I loved your answer to the second question. Your comment about “if you’re not enough without a relationship, you’ll never be enough with one”, is something I’ve been aware of for a while and have been working. I’m still in the process of nailing down who I want to be really.

    The other thing I liked about that answer was about being a buyer and a seller when looking for a relationship. I’ve always focussed on being a seller and the fact that I was a buyer came a poor second, with the resulting “purchase” being of poor quality. I have a list of things that are important to me to find in a potential partner, so I now have to keep those things in mind when I am talking to dates.

    Thanks Jenny
    Melbourne, Australia

    P.S. I’m coming to see you in April in Tampa – and am so looking forward to it!

  • Hi Matt,

    I enjoy the blog, your recent “here’s what’s wrong with NICE” post was particularly excellent. However, when I read this post I almost choked on my imported Tetley tea (I live in Norway where the people are cold and the tea is awful).

    Surely you can’t take credit for that? If you paraphrase Cool Runnings (arguably the 2nd greatest film of all time after Anchorman.. yes I know.. I’m an interllectual with impeccable taste.) Surely you have to cite the source??

    I see that in the comments below everyone is falling over themselves to congratulate you on your genius way with words. However, the real quote goes something like this:

    “A gold medal is a wonderful thing but if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it”.

    Otherwise keep up the great work!

    The IP rights police. x

    1. Hey Helen,

      The director of Cool Runnings is actually one of my dearest friends Jon Turteltaub. Of course I would absolutely credit the film given an extra 10 seconds on the today show, they don’t let me finish my sentences at the best of times!

      So although I take credit for the changes to the line :p, I 100% do not take credit for the original.

      Thanks for following.


      1. No kidding! Pass on my regards to Mr. Turteltaub. Tell him I’ll meet him in the revolving restaurant where we can discuss his (fairly accurate) stereotyping of male Swiss athletes. :)

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