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Does Life Get Any Easier?

Here’s a quick video on the hardships of life, why you need to find what you love, stick it out and keep going.

In the interview mentioned, Jerry was asked if his work was still difficult, to which he replied, “your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with.”

We can take this one of two ways; to be either depressing or empowering.

One of the great myths of our society is that things get easier.

–Get rich quick and your life will be easy…
–Find a relationship and your life will be easy…
–Six-pack abs and your life will be easy…

But life doesn’t work like that! It’s not that simple.

Life stays difficult.

I see my job as a coach not as helping make people’s lives easier, but helping people graduate from doing hard things they hate, to doing hard things they really enjoy.

For me, running GetTheGuy is no easier than it was 5 years ago. More opportunity can mean more work, but I enjoy it more, and that’s the difference.

The aim isn’t to make an easy life…

It’s to find something you love doing – a torture you can endure, and something that energises you.

With that said, sometimes you’ll be doing something hard that you don’t find fun, but just because it’s not ‘fun’, doesn’t mean it can’t be fulfilling.

As another personal example, I love boxing – not because while I’m doing it I’m having so much ‘fun’ – but because at the end of it I feel amazing and I get excited about going the next day.

Find a form of ‘torture’ you can enjoy.

Find something that can become part of your DNA and give it everything you’ve got.

Don’t stop because it’s hard work or because it’s not paying off right now. Keep doing it because you know it’s something that drives you at your core.


You’ll have noticed by now that GetTheGuy is bigger than just love life and dating advice. It’s about creating a life you love.

As the perfect compliment to videos I’m putting out here every week, if you want cutting-edge strategies for attracting a man, building chemistry and getting a guy to commit, check out my online program The Man Myth and take back control now.

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97 Replies to “Does Life Get Any Easier?”

  • Hey Matt,
    This is precisely why I am going to be one of those crazy 100 women in November. Life is not fair and people are stupid if they think they are going to be grinning ear to ear 24\7. I just need the tools to learn to appreciate the pain. Hehe. Thanks for the laugh, Leecis

  • This reminds me of something I heard once: pain is unavoidable, but suffering is optional. Statements like that and like Jerry Seinfield’s really work to give you the control in your life; bad things are going to happen, life gets hard — but you always have the capacity to do the hard work of enjoying it. That’s so special a message.

    1. I think you’d really like a poem by Ellen Bass, titled “Relax.” You two seem to be on the same page.


  • I think love life and job life shouldn’t be on the same boat. You can success through the career if you try hard. BUT love life doesn’t work that way because this is the only thing you cannot do it on your own. You need another one. Moreover, some people just cannot get any, no matter how much they try – you know why? Because they are not one of the MOST women! And they don’t want one of the MOST men.

  • Matt, I loved this video!! I think the culture reinforces the idea that if we are not happy 24/7 then something is wrong with us. I am reminded of your post about facebook and how easy it is to “compare our insides to someone’s outsides” — they look like they are happier, bigger, better, but focusing on comparing just gets us off track with ourselves. If, each day, I take steps toward my goals, I do the work, I will be much more satisfied than if I just sit around trying to better my mood. There is great satisfaction to be gained by hard work, even when it is not particularly fun.

  • Hi Matt,

    Long time listener, first time caller ;)

    I LOVE all the motivational words you have to say. I know you have read a lot of get where you are today. Can you provide a reading list of good material. Something for me to read when I can’t listen to you? :)

    And I totally agree with your message today. I am currently in a career I love, but it is HARD, always learning each day. But as I said I LOVE it.

  • Hi Matt, as always: brilliant, inspiring and everything I needed to hear – THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
    I’m going to take the liberty here to change the subject and ask a question: would you be able to make a blog post giving some ideas on how to ‘get the guy’ in a work environment?… I’ve read your book, watched the videos and am still struggling to come up with things to say and do to ‘get this guy’ I like from work. We work in different locations but we participate in the same meeting once a week… Please please help me???!
    Anyway, keep up the amazing work! I’m a fan xxx

  • Hi Matt!

    First off, I think your brilliant! My social and love life has taken such a turn since I first signed on to your blog. I am getting more an more men interested in me. However, now I have a question that you have never addressed.

    Once you reach that point in the relationship when you realize this guy isn’t a fit for me, how do you let him down in a way that respects both him and yourself? Preferably with the least amount of awkwardness?

    Would love if you could comment on this one!
    Again, Love you, I think your great!


  • Hi Matthew

    That video is exactly what I needed today. There will be some changes in my job that scared me a little bit. I really love my job and it wasn’t easy before and it won’t be easy in the future, but I still gonna like it. Thats what I thought after watching your video.

    Now I feel a little better, thanks for your motivation, it’s always very interesting watching your videos.


  • Oh my god, this is why I’m not getting anywhere. I keep thinking, it’ll get easier from here, it’ll get easier from here and then when it doesn’t, I’m like, it’s not working…And then I feel like I haven’t moved an inch even if I made decent progress.

    But wow, this is kind of scary. But I’m glad I heard it because now I can push through this.

    Thank you, Matthew

  • I greatly appreciate this. I am an optimist and believe in living life to its fullest, but my ex husband continually tries to make my life harder. I learn and grow from the experience and try to triumph. I believe God gives trials in order to learn, but I have had massive trials that almost killed my heart and soul this last year.

    I recently asked myself, “How much more pain must I endure?” But, I realized that in giving 1000% to all I die, I put myself at risk to be hurt more by others. I know that I am living, if I am hurting. Thanks for the reminder!

  • I love Matthew’s realism! It gives me hope because it’s the way things can actually happen. So many people are stuck in thinking things should be other than how they are, and I think that’s the biggest source of unhappiness. That makes this point of view one of the only sources of real happiness.

  • Dear Matthew,
    I have a question for you, I hope you read this comment and reply A-SAP.

    I am 27 and I still do not know what I want to be in life, who I am, what I like and so on. I have been searching, looking for the answer, I have been asking myself, writing things down on paper, looked in the mirror, I have read every piece of advice, I have asked people close to me, family, friends, even people I barely know for advice, for anything… but still, I have not found my way.

    Sure, there are things I love doing, that I am good at, but I feel I just cannot choose just one, because if I do choose just one, I feel like leaving behind a part of me, I feel like killing a part of me. Of course I also feel like “What if I make the wrong choice?”. There is not one thing that I prefer over the others, I guess I am more of a “moment” person: I might get into something for some months and then change to something else, then go back, then go into something else…

    Sorry for talking pointlessly so much. Is there a cure or am I just going to feel frustrated for life?

    Thank you


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