Does Life Get Any Easier?

Here’s a quick video on the hardships of life, why you need to find what you love, stick it out and keep going.

In the interview mentioned, Jerry was asked if his work was still difficult, to which he replied, “your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with.”

We can take this one of two ways; to be either depressing or empowering.

One of the great myths of our society is that things get easier.

–Get rich quick and your life will be easy…
–Find a relationship and your life will be easy…
–Six-pack abs and your life will be easy…

But life doesn’t work like that! It’s not that simple.

Life stays difficult.

I see my job as a coach not as helping make people’s lives easier, but helping people graduate from doing hard things they hate, to doing hard things they really enjoy.

For me, running GetTheGuy is no easier than it was 5 years ago. More opportunity can mean more work, but I enjoy it more, and that’s the difference.

The aim isn’t to make an easy life…

It’s to find something you love doing – a torture you can endure, and something that energises you.

With that said, sometimes you’ll be doing something hard that you don’t find fun, but just because it’s not ‘fun’, doesn’t mean it can’t be fulfilling.

As another personal example, I love boxing – not because while I’m doing it I’m having so much ‘fun’ – but because at the end of it I feel amazing and I get excited about going the next day.

Find a form of ‘torture’ you can enjoy.

Find something that can become part of your DNA and give it everything you’ve got.

Don’t stop because it’s hard work or because it’s not paying off right now. Keep doing it because you know it’s something that drives you at your core.


You’ll have noticed by now that GetTheGuy is bigger than just love life and dating advice. It’s about creating a life you love.

As the perfect compliment to videos I’m putting out here every week, if you want cutting-edge strategies for attracting a man, building chemistry and getting a guy to commit, check out my online program The Man Myth and take back control now.

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97 Replies to “Does Life Get Any Easier?”

  • Hi Matthew im sorry that ive post a comment the few times i was on vacation.
    And i really appreciate that i can because nothing is for granted in life.

    And i think not life gets any easier you can make it so hard as you want.
    I think if you work hard in life and think about your future your ginna achieve something. But life goes about peeks and troughfs learned from you :)
    But if you stay positife in the things you wanf achieve it gonna be alright.
    I know life is sometimes hard and onfair at sometimes.
    Because ive been bullied my grandpa is past away and is stolen into our house .
    And my parents gonna devorce maybe.
    But i always be strong wathever happens.

    Have a great day. Stay yourself always.

    Grtz Thirza from the netherlands ;)

    1. Hey Thirza, thanks for being the first to comment! Love your attitude in staying strong no matter what. That’s what really matters.

      Thanks for being a regular follower of my blog, it means a lot.

      Matthew x

  • Brilliant, Matthew. Lots of people are gonna fight you on this one! Maybe I’m wrong. But whenever I talk about something like this, everyone has this initial sense of wanting to say, “no! You’re wrong!” But thanks for this. Everyone needs to hear it. Keep preachin’ brotha.

    1. Hey Kim!

      Yeh people often misunderstand the point of this type of lesson, thinking that it’s not true (and depressing) to think that things don’t get easier. They often associate it with not being relaxed or not enjoying life.

      I actually look at it the opposite way. When you are doing hard things you love you feel completely at peace. Not only are you enjoying life but you’re getting the sense of fulfilment and satisfaction that can only come from doing hard things.

      Thanks for being an early commenter! x

      1. I really liked that one – getting peace from doing hard things. I never thought about it in that way, but that’s so true!

  • Thank you so much for this video Matthew! You’ve made me feel so much better about the choices I’ve made over the last couple of years. I chose to work a lot of hours in my part time job while I was at university, pouring my soul into my job so that I got promotions and huge amounts of extra responsibility, to the point where I was the only person in my role allowed to be part time because I was more valuable part time to my company than the full time employees. That combined with uni meant that I had very little free time to spend with people. But it paid off! Now that I’ve finished my degree, I will use it in a creative way to move forward with my career in this company. Even with uni out of the way, it will never get easy– now I have so many opportunities and I intend to exercise as many as possible. I am excited to move forward, even though things will be difficult. I am happier now because I know I have purpose, though the workload will actually increase. It’s good to know that life doesn’t get easier for anyone, it means I’m doing it right.

    1. Wow, congratulations for all the things you have accomplished! As you have written, you totally deserved it.

      1. Thanks Rumors!
        I seriously questioned what I was doing for a while. At one point it was so intense, I was working 57 hours a week on the shop floor plus uni. 5 hours sleep a night was driving me insane. Not that bad now and it makes me appreciate every second I have spare. I also got to afford the holiday I’m on right now. X

        1. You are a really hard work women. I was one year in the situation you have describe and it almost made me insane so little hours with out sleep. For me it was not woth it at all but I´m glad to hear that it´s not your case.

  • Thanks for this post! Love the blog. A few random thoughts:

    I like this. :-) This isn’t dissimilar to some thoughts I had when making the decision to pursue filmmaking instead of staying along a more traditional career path. It’s one of those decisions I think about a lot, because it’s really NOT a straightforward path, and so I have to renew it over and over. I think it relates to the quote you hear about doing something you love and never having to work a day in your life. It’s not that you DON’T have to work or do difficult things, but what you’re doing isn’t “work” in that drudgery, hating-one’s-life sense.

    I also think Seinfeld is right–and I think that’s one reason his comedy and observations about life are so funny, because he says things that we recognize on some level as true.

    Lastly, I like the idea of our “Sunday gatherings,” too. “See” you next Sunday!


  • Right on! Too many people want the magic pill or wand that will make everything perfect & easy. But perfect is boring. Easy makes us lazy and complacent. Life can be that much sweeter by the hardships we endure. How would we know how wonderful it is to be free of pain, without the pain in the first place? I always enjoy your insights, Matt. Thank you!

  • Life doesn’t get easier…you get better. And that’s where you find fulfillment. Thanks so much for stepping out and sharing this. It’s so true! What a different place this world would be if more people understood that. I truly appreciate all the inspiration…

  • Thank you Matthew for yet another great piece of advice. It’s strrange how whenever I start to question something in my life and wonder if I’m doing the right thing an email shows up from you and its always just what I need to hear. You helped give me the courage to follow my dreams and do the things I have always wanted to do. Youre right it doesn’t get easier but it is worth every second of the hard work. Thank you for your wonderful videos and posts. They keep me going.

  • Hi Matt

    I kinda feel this way about painting because once I start a canvas, I can’t rest until it’s complete. It’s hard work, takes hours of concentration, it makes me tired and achy but I feel like it’s something that I HAVE to do, it’s my passion and it’s who I am, it’s a way of being creative and also investing in myself. I love it so much that I have been offered a university place this coming September to study Fine Art, at the age of 41 having never received any previous training. It’s scary and exciting all rolled into one.

    I also wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you. I’ve had a rough few years relationship wise but it’s only recently, since reading you book and watching you blogs that I have really become to value myself as a beautiful woman and I have stopped allowing the kinds of men into my life that weren’t good for me. My confidence and self worth have increased as a consequence. I’m not entirely sure if I’m ready to let the right kind of man into my life just yet but I am certainly enjoying getting to know myself again. So once again, a massive thank you.

    Looking forward to the next installment, as ever.

    Jo x

    P.S. I box too and absolutely love it!!

  • Greetings from costa rica!! Amazing vid, amazing piece of advise!! I love the concept of finding the torture you can endure, it really makes sense because when you love what u do, any adversity is just part of the game…I’ m still on the process of discoverying my path, and I want to thank you for being the inpiration I needed to start the journey of regaining self confidence and taking control over my life!! Blessings!!

  • Love it as always, Matt! I’m in that precarious middle ground between knowing what I want and living what I don’t want right now. Such a drag. But that’s a good piece of advice to put out there, a torture you can endure. I’ll keep that in mind when I start writing again. =)

  • Funny I often feel that when I do intense workout and sometimes I get bored with it because it become a routine for me. But then I realized that it is after enduring the torture, you become proud of yourself that you did finish it and feel great about it.

    But in work, I think I haven’t found that passion yet and that’s what I want to discover.

    Anyway thanks for the enlightenment. Will keep on searching for it but please advise on how to discover your passion?

  • Thank you, your words come at a time to remind me of what I already know. Reminders like these make it easier to reset ourselves!

  • I really appreciate your regular videos and the depth of your messages. thanks for reminding me that life will not get easier. I really mean it because I have sometimes been tempted to believe “when I have overcome this and that, life will be easier”, but meanwhile I have come to understand that problems will always be part of life,and they help me grow.

    I have found one torture that I thoroughly enjoy: stair climbing.When I started out, I had a hard time climbing two floors up, and after a little practice I was able to walk up to the 10th floor in 7 minutes. Fortunately I live in a town with a lot of public, old and historic staircases that are amazingly long. Sometimes it is not easy when the weather is hot, and I need more water. Sometimes I am amused when I ask people about more stairs and they think I want to know how to avoid the next staircase and say “well, you don’t have to do this to yourself – you can walk this way instead”, and I smile cheerfully and I say “But I WANT STAIRS”. And when I reach the top and I look downstairs and have this amazing view of the town, I am glad that I did not give in before I reached the top.

    Regarding my health I also try to stay strong no matter what comes. 4 x in the hospital so far this year. I was really proud of myself when a fellow patient recognized me downtown last Saturday and said “Hi, are you still walking the stairs?”.

    I walk so much. when I was sorting out stuff that I no longer need I found a pant which used to fit me 2 years ago. Gee, I need to find somebody who takes a picture. My waistline has shrunk pretty good.

    Life is great and I keep climbing.

  • Hey Matt,

    I have to agree I love these “Sunday Gatherings” and like another commentator it seems this messages are always spot on in speaking to exactly what is relevant in our particular cases. I want to say that I am really working on all aspects of my life, making them more efficient and meaningful. Life is quite hard, but a remember I am of the warrior class and I have a duty to have a brilliant life and to support others in having the same. Stay thirsty my friends! Thank you Matthew. I love your videos from the garden. (Back home in London?)

    Take care,


  • Hey Matt, this is so pertinent to me today, thanks. I stated a course on nutrition a few weeks back as want sure of which way i wanted to go at work. Then got asked this week to act up at work which is what I wanted a few months back but now it’s all demanding focus!!! Ive been stressing, thinking I don’t know if I can handle it all and then sat and meditated this morning, journaled it all down. I got down to my course module which I love and ive decided that I’m willing to work my arse off this year at work and outside work and surprise myself. I’m doing things that make me feel fulfilled and it will be so worth it. Loving the inspiration, thank you. :)

  • After watching this video, I really feel like giving you a hug! So that you can pass some of your positive and engergising vibe to me.

    You are someone with overwhelming passion in what you do. Money without meaning can’t be fulfilling.

    Thank you for this!

    I have been so sad during these couple of weeks. I’ve done something that makes me so guilty and I kept blaming myself. I have been crying and crying.

    Life is hard now…but I know I’ll get through it. ..

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