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What Men Want In A Woman… REALLY Want!

Here’s how to understand what men want in a woman, without feeling confused or lost!

Men don’t want a challenge, but they do want to be challenged!

Let me explain this.

Actively trying to make yourself a challenge will only leave a guy interested in the chase. And when women make guys obsessed with the chase, the guy loses interest in the woman he’s chasing soon after he’s “caught” her

Alternatively, being a challenging woman implies a sense of continuity, rather than becoming a single challenge which once completed becomes boring.

So how do you be a challenging woman?

Answer: What men really want is a woman with her own life.

What a man wants is to know that he is being fitted into your weekly planner, rather than you giving up everything and going to set up camp in his!

I can’t stress this enough, in men’s minds it is unattractive if after only a brief time with him you give up the rest of your life (friends, family, hobbies) and replace them with him.

But take note – this is absolutely NOT the same as the old idea of “playing hard-to-get”.

Why hard-to-get doesn’t work…

Playing hard to get is only an illusion of independence, which will quickly vanish after the ‘chase’ is over.

Hard-to-get only teaches you to pretend to be an independent, interesting and confident woman, instead of truly being one.

Looks aren’t enough!

A common misconception from women about what men really want is looks.

As I said before, guys reserve their deepest level of respect and attraction for those women who are independent and confident in their own life, with or without a man. Remember, when a guy is attracted solely by looks, he has then formed in his mind a singular challenge.

If anything happens it will have been on the basis of physical attraction solely, and therefore the guy will have completed the challenge of getting the woman, who he is only physically attracted to, rendering the woman much less worthy of attention.

Perhaps this is why many men may have one-off flings with much younger girls, but the same men have a much deeper sense of desire and attraction for more mature women; often significantly older than them, with whom they often enter into more meaningful and passionate relationships founded on their attraction to the woman’s independent and challenging nature.

Remember, confidence and independence is sexy, people-pleasing, being needy and fake isn’t. True confidence and independence will keep you sexy for a long time to come, but it needs to come from within. The power to be what men want is, and always has been, within your grasp.

By the way, if you want more advanced techniques on what gets a guy’s attention, make sure you read my post on How To Get A Guy To Notice You.

Are you ready to have the love life you want? And understand what men want once and for all?

Ok so we know the basics now and can get a feel for what men want, but let me ask you a question… what do men really want in a woman? What is it that makes them feel deep attraction towards you, call you, stay committed to you? These are just some of the topics that I cover in-depth on my newsletter which is FREE. So if you’re ready to take your dating and relationships to the next level, I urge you to sign up today and you can be reading the first newsletter within 2 minutes from now, so go!

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65 Replies to “What Men Want In A Woman… REALLY Want!”

  • Why won’t my x husband of 21yrs of marriage leave me be, still calls at my house after 7yrs of being with someone else, iv threatened him with an injution but still keeps calling! Arrr HELP.

  • My now current ex told me himself that he still wanted to be friends and hang out. Of course I wanted to still hang out and be friends as well. Though it hasn’t been the same as when we first met and hung out even before we stated dating. He tells me that me sending him messages with woe is me lines isn’t cute. Well duh they aren’t supposed to be and I’m not intending them to be woe is me subjects I just feel better realesing some emotions that way. He also told me I’m becoming like his shadow (which I had absolutely no intention of doing). He dosent like that I sometimes will wait for him patiently to be done with something rather than stand over him like a hawk. I just thought I was being nice and waiting. I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong. He also tells me I’m not being my own person as if I’ve become totally reliant on him. Ok I have a little bit (but that’s because I’m still not quite over him) but it’s not like I will keel over and die if he isn’t standing next to me. I guess he just doesn’t understand that I’m very fragile and sensitive. I know he isn’t trying to be mean but it makes me feel like I’ve become the old ball and chain insted of a great friend. One thing I didn’t like was when he told me I wear some of the same stuff a lot. (HEY I CANT GO SHOPPING ALL THE TIME) its getting colder so I’m wearing jackets and long black pants but he says I Gould wear other things like jeans and stuff that will keep me warm. I’m perfectly fine with what I’m wearing thank you and it DOES keep me warm, I’m just small and thin so even if I did wear jeans it wouldn’t make much of a difference any way.

    1. You really really really need to get a grip and get away from this guy. Read “The Rules” this guy is never coming back and you need to move on right now!! Seriously

  • I agree with you about the looks but I do think looks are important in so far as being well groomed.
    Women are very critical about themselves and aspiring to be stick thin is a waste of time as guys generally seem to prefer a few curves.

  • Do Western women actually WANT a man in their lives ?? Women just seem to spew hatred towards us men. Stumbled on this article , women DO NOT need dating advice , even a mediocre woman can easily get a guy with no effort , even if a woman did approach a guy & he was not interseted she would NEVER be rejected in the same nasty ,snarling way that women do to men. I’m married , but have recently witnessed some shockingly nasty female behaviour ( I live in the UK ) if I was single I would NEVER date , it’s just not worth the hassle & STAY single !!

    1. I just meet this guy at the beach and we hit it off But when I got home from my vacation we were still texting at one point he asked me if I liked baseball I told him no he never texted me back I try Tex told him we could be friends he never answered so that’s the many reasons I am giving up

  • Hiya

    Thanks for the really interesting posts, your YouTube channel and this website have such insightful advice, thank you!!
    I was hoping to ask some advice, I understand that looks aren’t everything and although helpful when initially trying to attract a guy obviously personality is more important in sustaining a relationship, however although I am quite a slim build I have extremely small breasts, and worry about the impact this will have on my relationships, my ex although he initially said he thought they were fine, admitted to me later that he wished they were bigger. What are your thoughts on this? Cheers xx

    1. My boyfriend told me he likes small breasts. Just make sure the man you go with is one who pursues you & wants you. Men will sometimes “settle” for a woman who is different from what he wants. By being selective, patient & letting him do the pursuing you’ll end up with a man who has decided that you & your face & body are what he wants. & don’t get implants. Have more self-respect & self-love than to do that to yourself.

  • Very interesting! The psychology of a woman is really hard to describe. For people who has seen Mel Gibson’s ‘What women want?’ will find it a bit easier, but nonetheless ‘absolute’; what say eh? Cheers!

  • This is just not true. There is a kernel of truth in the sense that men don’t want emotionally wrecked women who simply want to be dependents. But men do want help mates, women who will support them in their projects in life, and who don’t vie with them for power. A lot of relationships degenerate into power struggles, and these typically originate with women, especially women in the fog of some feminist ideology. Men simply hate this. I divorced a woman who was basically like this and never regretted it, though we share 3 children. And I have enjoyed relationships with women who are not like this ever since, and don’t regret that either. What men really want in a woman is a real person, an honest person, a partner. Men value kindness and compassion in women, and femininity and grace. Western women have been cultivating traits quite opposed to these for years and have become more and more like men themselves–not terribly attractive. As I live in Eastern Europe I am not confronted with this problem but whenever I go west I’m astounded at what has become of the women. I’d rather be alone than be with the average well educated American woman–who is confused, angry, arrogant and feels entitled–and many of whom will find themselves alone and longing for a life they never had by the time they hit their mid 30s. This is just the way it is and you play game at your own peril, girls. By the time men are 40, if they take care of themselves and have a decent career, they will have their pick of a population of increasingly less desirable women who are shell shocked by their sudden loss of options.

  • Hey, I think the idea of “hard-to-get” is still work now for romantic relationships, of course, at the specific early stage. Playing hard to get does not mean that a woman has to appear like she is confident, but who knows she is really confident in fact, huh? Playing hard to get at least make men realize the value of a woman that things will not go easy if they do not put effort in impressing her.
    Any way, I love the way you deal with the topic. I have some tips to make the idea of “how to play hard to get” work here. Hope that you love it!

  • And now for the real endings of a few of those sentences …

    “Actively trying to make yourself a challenge” … will actually turn men off as they instantly know you’re playing games that revolve around your ego and the need to feel wanted.

    “Alternatively, being a challenging woman implies” … that you’re going to make the relationship constantly hard work and need to be pleased and mind read at every turn.

    “What men really want is a woman with her own life.” … and her own money, and ability to make choices and put in 50% of the relationship work.

    “Playing hard to get is only an illusion” … which is quickly understood to be a measurement of how self obsessed you are.

    “guys reserve their deepest level of respect and attraction for those women who are” … in one word, honest.

    “Perhaps this is why many men may have one-off flings with much younger girls” … or it could be that younger girls are still happy to have sex and like exploring, and haven’t been taught to use it as a weapon in a relationship.

  • Looks are obviously important but a woman that constantly prunes herself and worries what others think is a complete turn off. Too much makeup and hair products look cheap and make her guy think that she is constantly looking to attract a different partner. Most guy want a fun and loving woman that they can trust and care for. A great rack also helps. Oh, and too much talking is the ultimate turn off.

  • I like your article! but men want respect!

    They want if for what they do and who they are!

    They want to earn it, and be adequatly paid for it!

    They want to prove it to those they work for represent; have duties towards; have commitments to; and those they want love and admiration from!

    They want to be recognised in the appropriate way for their deeds and intent!

    They want to know that they count and can be relied on!

    They want the chance to gain respect!

    They want to be judged as a man by men who are men!

    They want to be worthy of those who put their love and trust in them!

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