What Makes You Undervalued by Men…

How do you make yourself a challenge that a guy wants to keep chasing? How do you naturally make a man value you for weeks, months, and even years? 

Join me in party capital Miami where I’ll be showing 3 women (and you) the answer…

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53 Replies to “What Makes You Undervalued by Men…”

  • I love that you did a segment on dating in Miami. Being a born and raised woman from Miami, I know from first hand experience how difficult it is to date in this city. I just wish you had given a more in-depth explanation or example of what do to or say after we’ve indicated that “yes, I think you’re cute/sexy/intriguing… I’m curious about you.” I tend to be a person to speak my mind. Life is too short to always be afraid and to hold back. And yes, I do have my standards and I tend to be very assertive when I think the feeling will be recriproacted. The problem with men in Miami (in my opinion) is that 90% of the time they’re just flaky and a tease. It’s really difficult to build any type of foundation when you’re looking for something with a bit more substance. Men here are just so focused about “image” and “looks”; because it’s true what one of your guests said—- “there’s always something better”. It’s very easy to get tossed aside very quickly in this town.

  • Thank you for reminding me about maintaining my standards. This short video had a very big power!
    I feel stronger and much more confident and I will live up to my standards no matter what the others think.
    I want my life to be extraordinary and happy!
    That’s why I have not purchased “If you want your ex back”, as I don’t like his standards that he tried to put me into.

  • I love these videos. I am actually signed up to attend your May retreat, but I am not your typical demographic. I am a bit older, divorced, and I don’t particularly enjoy dating men my age. I know the core message you deliver is about living your best, extraordinary life, and coming from a place of wholeness with or without a partner, which I know will resonate for me. That said, I live in Venice, CA, and we could have a really interesting conversation about the older/younger dynamic and the inherent issues in that scenario (I’m not talking about cradle robbing, just within a ten year span :)). Women my age obviously have an entirely different set of priorities, when it comes to finding a partner.

  • I’m really loving these series Matt, please keep them going. I’m learning so much and I feel so related to what those ladies talk about, literally, each one of them.

    I know that you are focusing your work on the United States, but if you could go around the world with this same idea, it would be just so awesome and an amazing experience!


  • Every time i watch a video of Matthew Hussey i starts believing in love more n more .Mathhew u r really amazing .Right now i m so hurt bc of mu dogies death i m feeling severely hurt i dont have any boyfriend i live in pakistan nobody here is of my type .I want to get married to somebody exactly like matthew hussey Is it possible

  • This is very interesting about standards and I realise that I have been compromising way too much in my relationships and it means being taken for granted in the end.. well done Matthew for al your hard work

  • Hi Matt,
    Up to scratch! Lol
    Great point! Will anyone ever be up to scratch? It’s getting darker and darker for the lady of color. Especially since the only thing available around here is pale face because he’s not up to scratch for the white lady she thinks she should pursue men of cokor.
    She soon finds out they’re all the same. Even WORST. But you guys need to clean up your act and maybe the white chic will stick with you.

  • the quality of the videos is getting better and better over time, a delight to watch! I guess that alone is a lesson on how keeping things interesting in itself… I guess the point is that you can do constant improvements to yourself not necessarily dramatic changes in your core values to keep yourself fresh and building confidence… I found this video very inspiring, thanks

  • I love this video. Other women’s perspectives and sharing their experiences is very helpful.

    I myself have high standards. Being honest kind of landed me in an unfortunate situation. However, your videos are a nice reminder as to why we all need standards in what we are looking for in another person.


  • Love this series and another awesome video Matthew! Thank you!! Communicating standards in a light but firm way can be a real challenge, and it only gets harder the more you’re “hooked” so the boundary work is worth the effort. We must do as Matthew says – live an amazing life, know our worth, and be willing to walk away! #preach

  • The hardest thing is accepting that when you assert your standard they may not value you more, but choose to walk away. Of course this means they aren’t right for you but it still sucks. I’m very mindful of the getting better at rejection video however they often string you along to boost their own self confidence until this point so you’ve invested in them for maybe a few months. Having just been ghosted followed by a list of bs excuses after I called him out on this I’m feeling a bit bruised!!! Older men definitely are not better mannered! Did at least get closure.

    1. Kitty, I am so sorry about your pain. The irony is that we all, men and women, go through this pain of finding a special someone. What you are describing, is very well familiar to me and, most likely, to those who follow Matthew. But the answer is in this 9 minute video. It fits in less than a minute and is plain and simple: finding someone great is a BYPRODUCT of an extraordinary life. I kinda have been suspecting it for a long time, it’s just Matthew who put it in words so wonderfully

  • Excellent! Can you give ways to say to a guy what our standards are. I was quite clear with this one guy and he was coming out of a relationship and I knew he wasn’t ready and he wanted sex, but he knew himself he didn’t want a relationship right now. Hence, because he didn’t get what he wanted, he stopped calling and texting.

  • You are nothing less than an expert but with vision too.As if you know what’s now and what is yet to come.Sometimes it’s not easy to listen when you open ours eyes with mistakes that we made in the past but this is the best and maybe the only way to heal. For now it’s enough of that “healing” for me becaue it’s also painful so I’ll have to take a short break. Thanks Mat!

  • I loved this post, I really like that you are interviewing people from different cities and then connecting it to your talks in the retreat, it creates a connection between the theory you present and the real life examples these women give. I’m from Miami so I was particularly intrigued by what would be said, and once again I agree wholeheartedly with your message. Deep down I have always felt confident knowing what I wanted, and was quick to move along once I realized the guy wasn’t committed in one way or another, however, my biggest learning experience came at 29 when I fell in love for the 1st time, all my rules went out the window and I bent my self backwards to make that relationship work. It was Matthew who showed me the way back to myself, gave me the strength and knowledge to recognize I wasn’t being valued because I had forgotten my own self worth, and through his ever drilling message of having standards and demanding them, it quickly allowed me to see my significant other didn’t mesure up to any demands and was quick himself to want to terminate what had now become a relationship where I was regaining control.

  • I LOVE what you said, “A guy can’t be the right guy for you if he doesn’t meet your standards.” I will NEVER be afraid to communicate, in a classy, playful way, my standards. because he will either weed himself out or show himself as a viable candidate. And I won’t have to do the ‘work’ to figure it out or tell him I’m not interested anymore. Which is always hard even when you’re doing the breaking up. Thank you Matt

  • More of a suggestion than a comment, really…but have you thought about doing one of these visits for us small town ladies? Our dating pools tend to be really shallow and in need of chlorine! I know I’m not the only super frustrated single lady in small town America! Keep up the amazing work, Matthew!

    1. Love this idea Kacey! Im a doctor living in a rural midwest town. The isolation has contributed to me shifting my standards just to have social contact. Id be interested in a strategy for singles in small towns.

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