5 Quick Tips to Win People Over

In this week’s video I take you behind the scenes to the audition room for my “50 Shades of Earl Grey” trailer.

Sitting behind the desk conducting the audition reminded me that there are two crucial skills to getting what you want most out of life:

One is being good at what you do, and the other is being good at marketing yourself.

Today I’m giving you the 5 things you must do in order to make a good impression and you’ll win people over every time!

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21 Replies to “5 Quick Tips to Win People Over”

  • Hey Matt,

    Thank you for another brilliant video.

    I love that you highlight the importance or both verbal and non verbal communication.

    I teach 16-19 year olds who have had a bit of a rough start in life and with their previous education experience; and one segment I teach is about how to go out and market yourself whilst looking for employment. I hope you don’t mind but I would love to use this video as a mini tutorial for them that I can expand upon. My learners respond very well to clips like this that they can build upon and I think that they will love this.


    1. I’m a 62 yr. old country girl. I recently lost my best friend of 46 yrs. who had become my husband & soul mate 28 yrs. ago in a car accident. When we were 19 yrs. old we dated but never had sex & when it came so close, we decided that our friendship was too important to us to lose. 15 years later we reconnected & picked up where we had left off & got marred 6 months later. For the past 3 yrs. since he died I sat all day & slept all night in his recliner. I cried every waking moment as the memories raced through my mind. He was the most wonderful person, outdoorsman, hardworking & laid back person I had ever known. At his “Celebration of Life” there were over 500 friends & relatives of his there. I got onto a stage in front of them & put my heart & soul into what it meant to know & love him.
      Recently I have made up my mind that I will no longer wake up to the shattered dreams that can never be put back together, but to live and love all that this life has to offer. Soon after I had posted that very remark on my facebook, a friend of our’s who is also 62, and never been married, messaged me for my phone number & come to visit later that afternoon. I have been to his place a few times also. We enjoy nature together and enjoy each others company & conversations. He’s always telling me that if I need any help with anything, that he will be there for me.
      I know that women aren’t suppose to compare a new man with a former mate. But I am amazed that he is so close to a perfect blueprint of my husband (no sex of course) and why I fell in love with my husband. When I’m around him I feel the same way that I did so many years ago.
      I guess what I’d like your advice on is, can people our age have it all. At my age I don’t go to bars nor do I believe that I could ever be one to “market myself”.

  • Thank you Matthew ! ! That was really helpful video, I haven’t realised how important for ex. saying “no” could be.. but it really is! Thanks! :D

  • I wish I could give this to every person I interview since I am a recruiter. It’s unbelievable how many people lack enthusiasm, have absolutely zero questions, and have meek handshakes! Maybe I can post this in the interview room :) Thank you for this!

  • wow…i so need these tips :) it reminds me of having the best foot forward- very practical,specific and yet powerful. I just received the gifts from the University i applied in ;) after sending a vid. i guess being the first at something also gives the applicant a great advantage…it’s either coming an hour earlier, being the first to smile or offer a handshake really helps ;) even observing or being aware of what’s going on in the room will also bring you further.

    one thing i noticed? this coach take down notes;)i realized that great leaders starts reminding themselves first to be more effective and be able to deliver clearer thoughts. how amazing is that?! no one could do it better than you do ;) i am inspired.
    time for toddler steps!lol #growing

  • Many times, I would ask questions during the interview so, by the end, I would have no questions left. I thought that was efficient. But I learned to save some questions for the end just so that I would have something to say at the end when thy ask “Do you have any questions?”

  • Thank you for these tips, as another person’s perspective or suggestions are always welcoming when they are coming from a source we value. I recently googled “questions to ask in an interview” as I felt if I wasn’t asking something, perhaps I should be or at least elaborating beyond the answer of “no” or “not at this time”

  • These are some great tips. I noticed when I would go to an interview I wasn’t excited about these things would change slightly. The big thing that would change was that instead of asking questions of what they would expect of me, turn over, advancement opportunities and average time to advancement I would say no I think you’ve answered all my questions thank you and cut it short.

    A tip for people interviewing people becareful what you ask too. You can turn people off to not only wanting to work for your company, but wanting to have anything to do with your company as well.
    I was really excited to work with this one cell phone store. I had worked in their call center doing the same thing for business accounts so I already knew the products I would be selling and how to fix most issues. It was a great opportunity to interact with customers face to face, it had a better chance of advancement and cut my drive time by over an hour.
    I got upset when they told me I needed to be able to lie to customers and promise them things I can’t actually give them just to keep them happy and wanted to know if I could be believable.
    Not if I could do it, but if they would believe me. Now not only do I not like lying I don’t respect those who do it just to sell a product or service. I feel if you have to lie to make a sale or keep a customer you don’t have a product or service worth selling. Same goes for people, if you have to lie about yourself, you don’t believe in yourself and I can’t trust you so I don’t want to know you. All lying does is make the other person happy at that moment. It’s a bandaid fix and it’s going to come back and bite you and you or someone else is going to have to clean up your mess.
    It finally made sense all the calls to fix issues of from clients that went into the store and didn’t get what they were told because they were promised a better deal than I was giving them if they bought there. I was spitting fire mad. It took everything I had to stay and finish the interview. Instead I continued to smile and explained I took drama (theater) classes in middle school & high school which would allow me to should the need arise. The next question was when have I ever lied and offered something I couldn’t give and what did I do. I was new and missinformed so when it turned out it couldn’t be done I spent all day on the phone with them to find someone that could do it for them. When you’re working with multi million dollar accounts you find a way to do what they want and what was promised or you risk losing those accounts and your job.
    At the end when he seemed pleased with himself and started telling me what my schedule, pay, benifits and bonus commission would be then asked if I had any questions I said no I think you’ve answered them all, but I want you to know just because I can lie doesn’t mean I like to. I think if you have to lie to get or keep customers you don’t deserve those customers and if you’re telling me to lie to customers how can I trust what you tell me? I can’t. At that point he changed and no longer had that excited inflection in his voice his stance became stiffer, his face drooped and became more of a scowl and his parting handshake felt like he was trying to break my hand without actually breaking it.
    I have advised people not to go there ever since and told them why and when they didn’t listen and got messed over then they told me they should have listened.
    As an employer what you do, say and how you present yourself to potential employees is just as if not more important, because you don’t just represent you and your department, office or store, you represent your whole company. If it helps think of it this way that potential employee is also a potential customer and you need to sell your company to them as much as they need to sell themselves to you.

  • I wish you would make more videos of these types which is broader and it is not only about wining the opposite sex but also things that could be applied to many aspects in life.


  • Hilarious Matthew! I can just see how you want to be cracking up the whole way and how you are stifling your the laughter that wants to bust forth! I can’t believe how she didn’t just lose it through being across from you… Looks like fun!

  • Please speak more on marketing the self. I am not good at it and I end up resenting those that are good self promoters. I can clearly see how advantageous it would be whilst dating!! Love the work you do. I love the previous idea about life coaching as well as dating coaching! The

  • I will admit that its both necessary & important to practice the basic fundamentals in all areas of our lives such as a firm handshake. However, I must also admit that if you’ve got boatloads of charm, such as the host, use that too! Thank you Matthew! You’re refreshing!

  • Love this Matthew! Behind the scenes are my favorite, and that was great advice to take to any audition – or interview for that matter. The most helpful bit for me was about asking questions. Sometimes, when asked “Do you have any questions?” I’m lost for one question because of my blanketed enthusiasm and curiousity for the project. Fifty Shades of Earl Grey looked like the most hilarious fun day ever.

  • Thanks for the simple tips Matthew! I’m someone who needs to be twice as good to win a thing… I’m really shy and sometimes don’t feel comfortable marketing myself. I hope you can make more videos on this topic? xxx

  • Thank you so very much. I happened to come across this yesterday. As it happens I had a job interview today and I figured “it couldn’t hurt” so I listened and followed all the tips. Not only did I get the job but as I was interviewing I got the sense they wanted to hire me on the spot. I felt so empowered and the last tip especially helped the most! I love your videos. I swear you can apply it to everything from relationships to getting the most out of your career and networking. Where have you been all my life????? lol ;-)

  • “if your not good at marketing yourself, you have to become twice as good at what you’re doing to win people over.” I think I’m gunna type this statement and stick it on my wall!

    We have been taught from childhood to “play nice”, work hard…etc., but no one talks about self-marketing. I kinda relate it to being outgoing two- shy have to work twice as hard to get into relationships ( even though they might have better qualities than the others).

    1. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but we’re finally waking up. I’m in my late twenties and can relate to what you said. No matter how great we are, we won’t even be given a chance if we’re shy.

  • Hi,my x been doing all the running after me and he came up for the weekend stay overnight with me.4times he told me to move on and find someone I am happy with the arrangement dose this means he wants no contact? He said he’s not wanting a relationship with anyone. Why he keeps saying it?

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