3 Simple Ways to Get Him to Call You Instead of Just Texting

I’ve been on tour over the last month and you wouldn’t believe how many women have asked me how to get a guy to just call them.

We seem to live on our phones in 2019, and yet it seems no one ever wants to actually speak on them.

If you’re sick of texting endlessly and want to actually talk and create real connection, here are 3 killer techniques to get him to pick up the phone and call you…

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Are you sick of texting?

I am concerned. Don’t get me wrong. I like texting. I do. I’m not one of those people who says, you know, “Death to texts,” but I do think that we’ve lost the art of getting on the phone, and we’ve sort of culturally been regressed to the level of teenagers in our communication, where the idea of getting on the phone and just speaking suddenly seems like a big deal.

So if you find yourself in an incessant texting conversation with a man, and you want to start building some real connection with him by getting on the phone – even if it’s not getting on a date yet, at least speaking on the phone – here are three ways you can do it.

Number one: Issue him an order. Say to him, “Call me tonight. I want to hear your voice.” You may think that seems a bit assertive, but it’s assertive in a good way. You’re not yelling at him. You’re simply giving him a directive, which is kind of hot, by the way. Like, a woman telling you to do something – I don’t think I’m just speaking for me, Jameson – there’s something sexy about that. “Call me.” All right? “Do you want to have a phone call tonight?” That’s not sexy. “Call me tonight. I want to hear your voice.” It’s also got a little compliment in it: You want to hear his voice.

Number two: Call out the situation playfully. Here’s what you say: “Oh no. We’re in danger of becoming pen pals. Let’s FaceTime this week so we can catch up properly.” When you put this negative label on texting all the time, like you’re in danger of becoming pen pals, which is not said as a good thing, you’re associating negatively with texting and positively with the idea of catching up properly, in this case, on FaceTime. By the way, I think FaceTime’s great, because when you can actually see someone on a screen. It’s the next best thing to a date, right? We see body language. We see facial expressions. It’s real connection, upgraded even from a phone call. But, if you’re not going to do FaceTime, at least do the phone call.

Number three: Call him first. Pick up the phone. You could be in a moment where you’re on your way somewhere and you only have a few minutes, which, by the way, is a good time to do it, because if you can get on the phone and say, “Hey, I got to go in a few minutes, but I just wanted to say ‘hi,'” that takes the pressure off of him, because he’s like, “Okay, this isn’t going to be a really long phone call,” if that’s what he was worried about; takes the pressure off of you, because you’ve given this kind of timeframe within which you can connect and catch up a little bit; and it just sort of liberates you to not overthink this phone call, but just pick up the phone and say hello. In doing this, you’re giving him a license to do the same in the future. You’re saying, “I think a phone call is a completely reasonable way for us to talk. I think you should do it too.” You’re putting both of you at ease with that situation and showing it can be enjoyable.

All this for a bloody phone call, Jameson. Now, I’m fully aware that we shouldn’t have to think this much about how to pick up the phone and speak to someone, but here we are. There’s a lot of people out there right now not speaking to each other on the phone, falling into the lazy trap of texting all the time, and you can sit there and complain about guys, and the way they are, and the way culture is, or you can create your own culture today, using these three tips.


Matthew: “Hello? Yeah, stupid me, it’s upside down. Hello? No, I had a great time too. Hang on. Give me a second. Conference call. Hello? Wow, this dating advice is getting me so much love. It’s bananas. I’ve got all these guys… I’m an idiot.”

Jameson: “Are you making a sexual joke with the bananas?”

Matthew: “I wasn’t.”


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8 Replies to “3 Simple Ways to Get Him to Call You Instead of Just Texting”

  • Call him first? Colin First??
    Great advice btw, I am very happy that my first comment is this one, but I’ve been fallowing since 2 years now, and I see big improvement in my love life and in myself :) so happy about my journey! <3

  • TBH, I watched this video twice and both the times you were funny. Too bad this site does not allow emojis. Iamgine a row of lol emojis here.. the last 30secs – gold

  • Hi Matt,
    I love your suggestions. I have been with my guy for over a year and have had a discussion about wanting phone calls to connect and he agreed to it and realized we were unbalanced about them and he said he would make it his thing to make more of them for me. There was effort for maybe a week or two. Now it has been months and no phone call. It’s always me. How do I approach this again?

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