Most people think attraction is all about chemistry or confidence, but they overlook one of the simplest tools we have: a well-placed compliment. One genuine line, said at the right moment, can dissolve tension, spark a real connection, and make someone feel truly noticed in a way they haven’t in a long time.

In this video, I’m talking about why compliments hit so deeply—especially for men—and how they can completely change the way someone experiences you. If you’ve ever wondered what actually sticks with someone or how to close the gap with a person you like, this is going to give you a totally new way of thinking about attraction.

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MATTHEW HUSSEY:

The right complement at the right time is one of the most powerful ways to build attraction. And the best thing about complements is that you are in control of them. They don’t involve you waiting around for somebody else to notice you. Compliments are the opposite. And in a world where our social muscles have atrophied through phone addiction and far less people are willing to be brave about approaching someone in real life.

It’s nice to have a tool in your belt that enables you to both bridge the gap between you and another person, and build attraction at the same time. In this video, I’m going to talk about why compliments work, why they are especially powerful when they’re used with men, and the five compliments that thousands of men revealed had the biggest impact on them, the ones they couldn’t forget.

So what is it about compliments and how do they relate to attraction? Let me explain very briefly a formula I have been talking about for over a decade. The attraction formula. There are four parts to deep and lasting attraction chemistry. Perceived value, perceived challenge, and connection. Now I don’t have time to go into all of these, but I want to explain how compliments relate to three of the parts of the attraction formula.

The first one. Chemistry. Have you ever noticed that when someone says something nice about you, or that you know someone likes you in some way, or think highly of you when they step into a room, from that point forward, they’re on your radar in a different way. It’s like they show up more brightly when they walk into a room because they’ve noticed you.

So when we give a compliment to somebody else, we’re putting ourselves on their radar in a way that makes us shine more brightly to them. Chemistry can actually arise out of discovering someone thinks something positive about us. Compliments also create connection when we compliment someone in a way that makes them feel genuinely seen. That creates deep connection. So we’re going to talk about this.

The best compliments really make people feel like you see them in a way that other people don’t. And the third part of the attraction formula that compliments relate to is perceived value. When people feel seen by us and they feel their worth, their value is recognized by us, especially when it’s the deeper value they have that they’re not usually seen for.

You become special to them. Now, before we get into the five compliments that men said were unforgettable to them, why is it that compliments have such an impact on men in particular? Because the average man isn’t used to getting them. When you read comments from men talking about the times they were complimented, they’ll often say something like it’s not the words.

It’s that she noticed. One guy said, I can remember every genuine compliment I have ever gotten from a woman. There’s only about five. That’s how rare it is for so many men. And the comments from women back this up. One woman said my male coworker teared up when I said he had great leadership energy. He said, no one has ever said that to him.

One of the most common misconceptions about men is the idea that looks are all that mattered to them. Now, that’s going to be true of a certain brand of man, don’t get me wrong, but there’s a huge number of men who value something even greater and that is feeling seen, feeling special, and feeling accepted. In fact, they value it so much that when they feel these things, it can leave an indelible mark on them.

I think what’s undervalued right now is the male urge to feel needed, wanted and appreciated. And the ironic thing is, I think this is partly responsible for fueling an explosion in male influencer podcasts, YouTube channels and men’s group. Whether it’s voices showing men how to be resilient and disciplined, creating a space where they feel un-judged for the innermost thoughts that they didn’t think they could voice out loud or it’s those who are blending emotional intelligence with traditional masculinity.

All of these voices speak to either the male desire to learn what they can do to become worthy of love, or a desire to be understood and accepted for who they already are and what they’re dealing with. I have spent a career hearing women say to me, where are the men who are doing the work? And I tell them, there are millions of them, but you’re not seeing it because the work they’re doing rarely looks like the kind of work that you’re doing.

What’s interesting to me about all of this is understanding why men are doing all of this work in the first place. While there’s a lot of messaging in society about women feeling invisible, especially as they get older, there’s less talk about how invisible and unseen men can feel, how much they worry they don’t match up to other men or to what they believe women want from men in general.

Men may not be great at being vulnerable, but in truth they feel more vulnerable than they ever have. Okay, so what did men say when asked, what are the compliments that meant the most to you, the ones you couldn’t forget? We have aggregated data from several asked men, asked women on relationship threads on Reddit spanning thousands of comments.

And here’s what consistently emerges as the top five compliments that men say mean the most to them. Ranked by Emotional Impact. The first and most impactful compliment that men said they received is you make me feel safe. This one is so interesting to me because I have some very, very viral videos when it comes to compliments. David pointed out recently that the number one video on our YouTube channel, which has over 21 million views, is a video on compliments.

And this was early. This is going back years. And I said one of the greatest compliments you can give a guy is you make me feel safe. In fact, just to find young me saying this. You say to a man, I feel so safe whenever I’m around you. Just saying that to a guy makes him feel like Superman.

This leads me to believe that either I was more right than I even knew when I said this or that, that video was so impactful that it has actually influenced how many men have received that compliment and are therefore saying is the favorite compliment that they get now. Why is this compliment so powerful? Because it speaks to some very basic male instincts the desire to protect and provide through emotional safety, not through dominance, but through a kind of gentleness and a strength that you are feeling.

So it both makes him feel strong and like he’s having a really positive impact on you at the same time. By the way, these compliments have been vouched for by thousands of men, but that doesn’t mean they’re right for your situation or the stage of dating you’re at right now. If you want to get my tailored advice for what you’re going through specifically right now, I have something I’d love for you to try today.

I currently have a Black Friday offer on Matthew AI, which is my tool where you can call or text my brain anytime you want and get an answer to your specific love life challenge. You can use it to find out what someone’s behavior means, what to say next, what to do next in any situation. And as part of Black Friday until December the 3rd, I’m giving you two whole weeks for free, unlimited to use Matthew AI.

So if you haven’t tried it yet or if you’ve been wanting to sign up, now is the time again. That offer is only available until December the 3rd. Go get it at AskMH.com. I can’t wait to hear your story of how you use Matthew AI and how it helps you. The second compliment men said was I really respect how you handled that.

Now this one hits a man’s sense of character. It says, I noticed your integrity in action. It affirms competence, judgment, emotional maturity, qualities that men often define themselves by but rarely get credit for. Why is this compliment so powerful? Because respect is like oxygen for so many men. When it’s genuine respect, not deferential but discerning, it can make a guy feel seen as capable and honorable.

The third compliment that men said meant the most to them was you have such a calming or grounding energy. This validates men being not doing. It shows him that his presence is powerful for you. He changes the room just by being in it. One guy said when a woman told me my energy made her feel calm, I felt seen in a way I never had.

It wasn’t about how I looked or what I did. It was about who I was. Men are used to getting noticed when they perform or when they get results, but this compliment says you matter even when you’re not performing. Fourth, compliment that men said meant the world to them. You’re really thoughtful. His attention to your needs, his empathy, the little things he does without being asked.

I know that this is a difficult one for a lot of women to hear, because you’re like, I wish there were more guys who were thoughtful. I’m dealing with guys who are the complete opposite, I totally understand that. And I’m not suggesting that you give this compliment in situations where it’s unearned. There is such an importance to the sincerity of these compliments.

But for guys who actually do these things, showing that you see them for the things they do and making them feel appreciated. That is like water in a desert to guys who are used to doing things and them not being noticed. The fifth compliment thousands of guys said meant the most to them. Wow, you really are incredible with that lightsaber on you.

Wait a minute. David this is your notebook. Oh, and you don’t think that. That’s right. Okay, well, one guy for sure found that to be the most powerful compliment they’d ever received. Really? Just one guy. Be honest. Okay. The real number five that thousands of men said is, I love the way you think. I relate to this one. And anytime Audrey has said something like this to me, it has always meant so much.

That feeling of being admired for the way that I see things or connect ideas or expressed myself and you know, I think so many men can relate to that. That idea of someone saying to your perspective fascinates me. So yes, gentlemen, I concur. If you’re a guy here, let me know in the comments which of these five would be your favorite.

Let us know! What’s your favorite compliment you’ve ever received? And if you’re a woman in the comments, what is a compliment you’ve given someone that meant the world to them that I haven’t mentioned in this video? Let me know and do not forget before you go to pick up your Black Friday offer of Matthew AI. Remember two free weeks, unlimited only until December the 3rd.

Go to AskMH.com to get that offer. I’ll see you next time.