breaking up

Getting Over A Bad Break Up & Not Letting It Affect You

It happens to the best of us.

Relationships are tough; we all know that. And today, as much as I’m going to be giving you advice, I’m really here to reassure you that you’re going to be okay getting over a bad break up.

The way you’re feeling right now, and the reasons you’re feeling like this are actually far more complex than most people will ever appreciate. And even with the best of intentions, aside from being handed a bucket of Ben & Jerry’s and a shovel of a spoon, it’s unlikely that you’re ever really getting the help and advice you really need from those around you.

We all know how easy it can be to romanticize the better parts of a past relationship, trying to convince yourself that it really wasn’t that bad. But I urge you to stay strong.

We had a comment on one of our articles on ‘Players‘ from Denise, who said, “Trust your intuition!” I really think that this advice is applicable in so many areas of dating and relationships, and keep that in the back of your mind until you’re well and truly over him.

For this article, there are 4 steps I really want to focus on for getting over a bad break up. And it all starts with a disappearing act…

Get Away From Everything

Just get away from everything for a few days. Disappear and give yourself a few days to get some space. You might choose to take one or two friends with you, but this really should be some alone time. The more people you have around you, the more the breakup will be brought up, the more explaining you’ll be expected to do and the more people will gossip.

Nothing is more valuable than how you feel, so just drop whatever’s stopping you, and give yourself that gift of a few days freedom.

Keeping Occupied

Once you’re back in the real world, it’s imperative to focus your attention on something productive. The last thing you want is to end up sitting in your living room, aimlessly flicking through thousands of TV channels looking for some inspiration.

A breakup gives you license to give yourself a blank slate and a fresh start. So what are those things you’ve been meaning to do for ages; those things that have been New Years resolutions for the last 5 years? Get out of your usual routine. Clear and organize your personal space so you’re left feeling refreshed and prepared for the new things to come.

Utilize Your Emotions

I really believe that every intense emotion we have is just energy. When most people are getting over a bad break up, they tend to turn to anger first, blaming the person they were with for everything that’s happened.

The last thing you want to do is bottle this energy up, but rather than projecting all it onto someone, I encourage you to write. Keep a journal, and dedicate 10 minutes a day to furiously writing everything that comes into your mind. Write for the entire 10 minutes, don’t stop to think, don’t go back and edit anything – all grammar, spelling and punctuation can be ignored and what you will soon find is there is this great release of pent up energy.

Getting Over A Bad Break Up Requires A Personal Plan

The last step you need to take to get over a bad break up is to create yourself a roadmap. This is the only way that you’re ever going to get your life back on track, the way you want it to be.

Whilst it might be hard to believe right now with the way you’re feeling, you have to keep reminding yourself that thousands of other women feel like this every day. Stay strong, keep those who love you and make you feel good close. And remember that there are always plenty of fish in the sea!

When it comes to getting over a bad break up, the more hints and tips you have at your disposal, the easier you’ll find it to move on and meet more men.

Now you know the basics of getting over a break up, it’s crucial you know what to do when you’re ready to start looking to meet new men…

This means using proven dating tips that work with almost all men and help to spark the attraction, to the point where he’ll be dying to call you. In my FREE newsletter I show you some of the most cutting edge tips for meeting, attracting and keeping your ideal guy. So sign up today, get instant access and you’ll be reading the first newsletter within minutes.

How To Prevent A Breakup From Happening

Dealing with a break up is often a difficult experience for both parties, and trying to salvage a relationship from the brink is a tricky process with no quick fix available. I frequently advise that addressing some of the fundamental issues below within a relationship can make the difference and prevent a breakup.

Instantly prevent a breakup by ditching the neediness

Whilst exhibiting love for your partner is a requisite for a healthy relationship and by no means a negative thing, this should not be confused with neediness, which is a different beast altogether.

If you have ever experienced any of the following then you, along with many others, may have fallen victim to the neediness bug:

  • Having all your own plans dictated by what your man feels like doing?
  • Feeling unable to enjoy time away from your man?
  • Feeling that you need constant emotional support?
  • Getting all your validation from your man’s compliments or attention?

To prevent a breakup it is important that a healthy, balanced relationship is maintained, and If you fall prey to the neediness bug then you will never be fulfilled by your relationship, as the bug will never be satisfied. No matter how many compliments you receive, you will only ever take from the relationship. From a man or a woman’s perspective this is real issue that often leads to breaking up.

To prevent a breakup caused by neediness:

  • Don’t let relationships overtake your life
  • Don’t neglect your friends, hobbies or health
  • Remember that a relationship can be an important component in your life, but never the only component.

Taking the Backseat in the relationship

Break ups are often caused by a unbalanced relationship, where both partners don’t see each other as equals. Has your relationship become one sided? Do you feel like you are constantly trying to meet your partner’s needs?

Or alternatively, are you bored because all he seems to do is try to please you?

If yes, then it is important to redress the balance. Restore balance to the relationship by making more ‘couple’ time to do things for each other. Alternatively if you feel you are always trying to please him then hold back on the affection and make it clear that until he makes time for your needs he won’t be getting your love.

Being a lazy no good partner

This can manifest itself in many negative ways within a relationship, including:

  • Not caring about your appearance
  • No more fun dates
  • Taking each other for granted
  • No more effort in your sex life
  • No more “Just him and you time”
  • Lack of affection – kissing / cuddling

Even just having a proper conversation can be jettisoned through laziness, where time spent with each other is dominated by the everyday motions such as kids, work and logistics. This replaces the themes of dreams, books, politics, the world, aspirations etc, that were part of the reason behind your initial attraction to one another.

To prevent a break up it is important that you don’t both become victims of inertia, just going through them options because you both feel secure that your partner isn’t going anywhere. This gradually takes its toll, as the variety and spice within a relationship can be lost. Ultimately this will lead to you or your partner associating the relationship / marriage with boredom, which can be the main reason behind cheating.

Want to prevent a breakup and spice up your relationship? Then you MUST check out the FREE newsletter…