Learn More About My New Book, Love Life

Why Men “Love Bomb” and What You Can Do About It

Have you ever had someone come into your life, dazzle you with their initial investment and attention, only to disappear as fast as they came?

This phenomenon has been nicknamed “Love Bombing,” and it can be very painful, especially when you were led to believe it was going somewhere.

You may be asking yourself why someone would do this. In this week’s video I’ll show you…

Try My Love.Life VIP Coaching for FREE.
To Learn More and Ask Me Your Question…

Why do men “Love Bomb”?

I got asked this question on one of our recent Love.Life webinars. Why do guys come in, get you attracted, make you fall in love, give you compliments, make promises, and then ghost you?

Love bombing is an interesting concept. And it’s one that’s worth understanding more about.

Why do guys do this?

Well, firstly, they do it because they’re insecure, right? Because they don’t feel “enough” unless they’re making someone fall in love with them. That they need someone to have an image of them that is so wonderful and reflected back to them, so that they can feel like, “Oh, okay, I can breathe. Look, someone’s falling in love with me. Someone thinks I’m amazing. Now, I guess I am amazing. Someone thinks it.”

And of course, in order to make you feel this, they say a lot of lovely things, they’re very charming, they make a lot of promises, and then can’t live up to those promises because it was never about building something. It was all always about feeling something.

Of course, the person on the receiving end becomes the collateral damage for this need that a person has.

Now, firstly, don’t beat yourself up because you feel all of this for this person. This person actually sold you on that image. They said things and did things to lead you down a certain path, to make you feel something, and then disappeared. You’re not crazy for feeling something, and you’re not crazy for feeling something really intense, because what the love bomber does is present the most intensely fantastic picture of themselves.

They put forward a version of themselves that is kind of like the version of themselves that people put out on Instagram. You know, you see these Instagram profiles where people look perfect in every single photograph. How is that? They’re choosing a certain filter or a certain angle or a certain lighting that always makes them look a certain way. People do that in their love lives when they love bomb people.

But in order to reduce our pain in this moment when someone disappears, we have to walk back the image that we have of that person. We have to begin to create a more sober image of a person. A person that we are looking back on and convincing ourselves was the great love we lost, when really that feeling, the intensity of that feeling, is based on an image that would be extraordinarily difficult for someone to live up to over a longer period of time.

I even think this not just in the case of someone who may be love bombed you after a few weeks or months, but let’s say someone who is with you for nine months or a year, in a kind of honeymoon phase of a relationship. And then they left. We’re in danger of forever comparing every long-term relationship we have with that person that we were with for nine months and seemed incredible. But what we didn’t see is what that person was like over two years, or five years, or a lifetime of marriage. So it actually becomes incredibly unfair to compare someone that we’re with for many years to the glamour and the shine of someone that we were with for nine months.

What can we do about this?

Firstly, be aware of anyone who seems to be giving you an unjustified amount of love, attention, compliments, making promises that don’t seem earned in a very short period of time. It doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t mean them. It just means that those things are very much unproven right now. It could be that it turns out to be real and that that’s the person you end up with. But what we have to do is even when someone else is trying to go at this rapid pace, and even if we’re enjoying that rapid pace, at the very least, internally, we have to modify our expectations until time proves those things to be real. Because someone delivering on those intentions through their actions over time is what lends gravitas to those early compliments and promises.

By the way, this concept is something that on my member’s webinar call today, I went into for 20, 25 minutes. And that’s when it turns from an idea into coaching. Ideas can help with your life. But coaching is what changes your life. That’s where the results are. So if you want to get coaching from me, graduate from a YouTube video each week to real deep-dive coaching on the issues that you want to work on, this is where it’s at. I’ll leave a link here. Come check it out for yourself. And as always, I will see you next week.

Free Guide

Copy & Paste These
"9 Texts No Man Can Resist"

26 Replies to “Why Men “Love Bomb” and What You Can Do About It”

  • haha, now I got the answer to wtf happened with my relationships. And I was blaming me, for not being good enough, for not doing something more. Yeah, he also was soo charming, flowers, compliments, asking to move in with him after a month, saying he never felt like that before etc.
    I had a feeling that this is not real, it can’t be after few month dating, right?? but I wanted to believe and then after 10 month he started to avoid me, ghost me. We broke up, with no proper explanation from his side, just that he doesn’t feel THAT way anymore.
    I followed Matthew rules-how to get a guy back.. and he came back, just to ghost me again. So now, I am very furious and I want revenge :))) I know that they say, that best revenge is to move on, but .. I really feel like a fool for giving so much credit to him ..

  • Why does a guy tell me he loves me but treats me like crap? I’ve been through a lot and I’m very afraid to love someone again long story. I honestly need your help but to could reply to my email and ask me about it I will explain.

  • Thanks So much Matthew, this clip is just the breath of fresh air I needed ! this has happened me twice since January, all talk , so charming and chivalrous at the start but soon learnt that chivalry had a sell by date ! throwing in the towel for now and content with my own company for a while, thanks again, you are an inspiration !

  • Hey Matt ! I can’t tell you how much your videos have helped me – you’re awesome, thank you !
    I was seeing a guy for two weeks and we went on four great dates, but we both left for our summer holidays and agreed to meet up once I return in mid-August – it will be a month and a half apart.
    Before I left town he told me he thinks we could be great together and he’s thinking good things about us – but it’s been 4 weeks and he hasn’t contacted me once since – he doesn’t even react to my ig stories. :(
    Two weeks ago I teased him about it, he replied lightheartedly but nothing since.
    Can I get your insight into this ? Is he a player ..? Is he just in summer mood ? Should I be offended or is this normal behaviour ..? Help ! :)

  • I just wanted to say to all you beautiful women on this thread, may you find your inner strength and way through the torment that these ‘love bombing’ individuals have carried out and in the process ruined your lives, faltered your own ability to gauge and trust your own instincts and radar, who have caused you to doubt yourselves or momentarily screwed up your rational minds, and who have left you in a pile of ash all crashed and confused and uncertain. I feel the pain, as have similarly been there and still fear that I’m not fully clear of the danger, but you are all better than what they have done to you, and next time, your foundations and pillar of strength within won’t shatter with the earthquake that they bring to the fore on subsequent interactions.

  • I was recently love bombed by a guy in East Renton Highlands Washington. This all makes sense now. I only wish I had found this sooner. I deserve better and he is in need of a better therapist.

1 2

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

All-Time POPULAR Posts