Breakups make us feel lonely, kill our motivation, and leave us scared we’ll never find life beyond this pain. But if you’re in a rut now, it doesn’t mean this is the end.
If you feel stuck in heartbreak—or just need some encouragement to pick yourself up—don’t miss today’s new video. I’ll show you how to stop this breakup from defining who you are, and give you the first step to getting the confidence you need to start again.
Who you’ve been in the past does not define who you are today. You woke up the hero of your life today. Who you’ve been in your past does not define what you can do today.
You didn’t follow through in the past? Who cares? That was in the past. You have new information now. You’re evolved now. You’re a new person now. You can make different decisions.
Anytime you go through something difficult, a piece of you dies, but you come through and then a bigger you comes back.
We have to get this idea out of our minds that who we are is this static thing. At some stage, you did new things, didn’t you?
At some stage, you did something new that taught you something new about yourself, or you overcame something, or you handled stress that you’d never handled before. You handled grief that you’d never handled before. You dealt with a difficult situation or you dealt with a heartbreak you never thought you’d survive. You did something. You’ve been through things that have changed you.
We’re afraid of the “old us” dying. We’re afraid of letting go of that, because this new person—this new woman who’s going to come back—what she’s capable of might scare us.
That might mean doing some new things. That might mean change. So it’s easier to stay where I am. It’s easier to hold on to the old me.
If we want to get to the next level of our personality—of what we can become—someone who is the hero of our life . . . someone who goes after what we really want . . . someone who stops caring so much what other people think and stops living life by what other people think, we have to start upping the stakes.
So the only sustainable way to be a certain way is to go out there and say, “This is who I want to be. That’s why I’m doing it, because I can’t get to 90 years old and look back and know that I didn’t spend my life being this person. I’m not kind because I want kind [want to be liked]. I’m not sociable because I want a boyfriend. I’m not generous so that people will think highly of me. I do these things because this is who I want to be, because this is the person I’m going to be proud of in my lifetime.”
Absolutely love this new post about
After a break up !!
This years retreat unfortunately does not work but will save for next year ! I continue to strive ( exhausting ) check me out on Instagram
holly_awsome
Absolutely helpful specially for my painful experienced with my bf.
It brings me to a new life, a new me today
I started boxing ( sparing) with a male personal trainer. As I didn’t think I could chat with men. I ve lost 4 st in weight feel fitter than I have in years. Work out 4 times a week.
I laugh more. I m nine months out of my 22 year marriage. Some moments are dark but on the whole I m better.
Wow!..Wow! Just Wow!
Seriously…iam so inspired!
I can’t just listen to this enough!
Thanks so much for this piece.
I was heartbroken 5 months ago after a breakup. Today, while I still miss him and think about him every day, I have gained so much knowledge and growth in the last few months, I now perceive the breakup as a gift and a breakthrough for me. I am confident that I am now and will always becoming a better romantic partner as a result of this experience. And I am so grateful for Mathew’s wisdom and teaching. His videos and master classes have helped me through some really tough time. I am hoping to join the retreat next year to be inspired in person!!
Luba, thanks for sharing! Your message really resonates with me. I am about 3 months out after my breakup. As much as it hurts (I think about him every day), I learned so much about myself. As a result. I will be a better version of me for my next (and hopefully last) relationship.
I feel completely stuck, split up with my long term partner 6 months ago but have to live in the same house in a small village. Can’t move because all our money is tied up in another house that is being renovated. He’s been so cruel to me and has now told me he is going away for a month at Christmas, leaving me to look after our animals.. I’m getting very depressed and can’t think of a way forward
Good thing he’s going away! One wellness month for you … it took me 4 years to get rid of the shitty ex who now lives in the other half of the living space and I will have to look at that empty and stupid face for another 4, but I’m so much better now, he is just a nuisance and I’m talking to a great guy now. Don’t give up ♥️
Thanks Caro for the encouragement.. the thought of having to spend Christmas completely alone after 18 years together has really upset me. I already feel very down. I just don’t seem to have any control over my own life
Hi Tracey, this sounds like a really difficult situation, especially around the holidays. When he’s gone, could you host a Christmas dinner with friends or family and enjoy yourself or join a Christmas at a friends or family’s house? We have to surround ourselves with people who uplift us, to eventually block out all the cruelness coming from them
Hi Tracey, I’m in identical situation as you, it’s surreal you’re living the same. We are under the same house with animals. A rental home appeared last week, I’m moving out in a few weeks to get my freedom and life back. If there’s a chance you can get some personal funds available or small loan from family? until you find your feet again, you can take the animals if practical. Sending hugs to you, good luck!
Dear absolutely amazing Matthew ❤️
I’m honoured to have a mentor like you. Everything you teach leads to self love and providing a magical world for humanity. Thank you for being in our lives Much love and appreciation ❤️❤️❤️
I signed up for a dance class I’ve never been to tomorrow morning with a friend. I started playing music again
I fell in love in high school and have never forgotten the “ one that got away.” I met up at a reunion and started how much I missed him. He was very attentive for a while. But, I kept sending him cute little things that were “masked” in “I never stopped loving you” without saying the exact words. I was no challenge and I felt and noticed his interest and love. I left all physical intimacy behind to make sure that was all he wanted. What’s worse is that I love him now.
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Breakups make us feel lonely, kill our motivation, and leave us scared we’ll never find life beyond this pain.
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