What He Really Means When He Says He’s “Too Busy”

In this week’s episode of LOVELife I give advice on what to do when a man says he’s “too busy for a relationship”…

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13 Replies to “What He Really Means When He Says He’s “Too Busy””

  • OMG, Matt! First of all, I love your haircut. ;)
    Okay, I’ve been seeing this guy for 3 months and he’s always busy with his friends which I believed him. I joined your GTG and KTG programs and I already know what to do (which you mentioned in this video, of course) but it’s hard because I wanted to see him when he’s actually available. I guess I have to be stronger to say no to him sometimes. He said he’s attracted to me, mentally and physically so I guess, at least I must did something right when we spend time together. :) Thank you for being here, Matt. I really appreciated what you’re sharing for us.

    1. so what is he busy with? he tells me same thing: that it is so good together. but makes no time. I am not sure if it is not time wasting thing. But if you say it works with programs I should try too.

  • I LOVE this advice!!! Thank you Matthew and Stephen for all the GREAT advice! I’m working on changing around my “love life” with both of your help :)

  • I typically just lose interest. I don’t want to have to think of ways to get you to do things with me. I would much rather spend time with someone who willingly wants to spend time with me.
    Kathie and Hoda are supposed to talk it is a talk show ;)

  • There is this American bloke that I’m seeing on and off for months now.
    We are taking it slow, and he’s the spontaneous type of lad who wouldn’t even plan.
    He’d call or text me whether I want to hang out an hour before
    and most of the time I’ve plans, out with my friends for lunch, dinner or even drinks so we’d not have time to hang out and all.
    As you said on the video that he would see that I’ve value and stuffs.
    Yet honestly, i feel like there is no way to change him to put me in advance list, ask me to hang out way before etc.
    Could you please give me an advice about this Matt?

    Cheers x

    1. I feel the same, I left my ex because he never had time, and then he came back again. I let him in. still he has no time at all. So we decided to stop it. I feel he might come back again. The thing is love, but priorities are different. Even though I not running for him when he calls, but when I dont accept invitation he might be angry for weeks. I still feel MAth’s advice must work for these guys.

  • since I am following your advice, you are the only one who to tell my downs even if you wont read or answer.
    I yesterday got myself drunk totally because he left me.
    we are separated by 300km and. He said “I am sick of messaging, I need to feel you” but He is not willing to change living place. Busy with his work and carrier.
    I dont know… I did not insist on changing anything, I was understandable about his work. I waited. Whats now? My heart bleeding, I have loved him for 6 years and I still do.
    How I was supposed to do to be in his advanced list?
    its even worse than death, you know he is somewhere there but you cant be together, this is crazy how miserable I feel now

    1. but yes I got your advice on this video. I learned my lesson.
      Creating life. and well maybe this is really a year of his carrier. so maybe I did t wrong telling him this relation should be over because your priorities are different from my. I told him never ever come back. SO now if he comes back I still let him in. And this will make me look silly and he will always be doing that way. leaves and comes back

  • Matt,

    I cannot say that this advice came at a better time. I have been talking to a guy at work (which brings about a whole other slew of issues) since February. Over the past few months, I have noticed that when he gets busy communication with me comes to a screeching halt. Yet, he always makes it a priority to stop whatever he is doing and give me a hug “hello” and “goodnight” when we are at work (I am the only one that gets these consistently). It is comforting that he shows affection in some way, but this hot and cold mess is confusing.

    While I believe him about being busy, he has been inconsistent on some other things. For instance, he originally told me that we could not date due to company policy, but then started talking to me about possible dates a few weeks later. We ended up going out once but did not call it a date, and now he is once again saying that he did not pursue anything further because of the policy. While I do enjoy talking and spending time with him, I am no longer sure how to continue with this cat and mouse game. Do I ask him to explain his change of heart on the policy? Do I become less available by finding another job? Do I slowly start to pull away and invest energy into something else?

    I am clearly not a priority right now, and I am not sure if that will change any time soon.

    ***I will be graduating from university soon and am looking to start my career in another company. My decision to leave the company will not be in direct pursuit of this man’s attention.***

  • Awesome advice Matthew… ;) <3 I know a fella ….that is interested in me…But, he is where I was about 3 years ago…His ex-wife gambled their house away & he lost his business over it…& they are co-parenting a 13 year old son….His Blueprint isn't ready for me yet…Although, sparks are flying all over the place when we see each other… ;) I wanted to get my financial house in order after my divorce too! It took me 5 years..& was ready at the 6 year mark…Haven't been at the dating moment yet with him…But we know we like each other a lot… I am very busy with my own life too…But, I would make time for him…I let him know how I feel..& he didn't say NO to dating..he just hasen't thought about entering into it yet…I'm NOT sure how long since he got his divorce…But I totally understand the Blueprint thing….We have the gemstone effect & the sexual tension going…but I don't think he is ready to change his blueprint yet…I was the same way…What do you think…should I persue him?? I told him how I feel..because I would rather have rejection..than have regret…He has NOT rejected the idea…He said he would think about it…& get back to me…He is trying to get back on his financial feet…Taking jobs outside his work..& is so busy…Plus…he is such a great father..I know that is his Number 1 priority…I love that about him! A truly awesome quality..I find that so sexy about him…plus..he is HOT! Just saying….

  • Well guys might be more interested in the woman who is too busy for them but from a woman’s perspective she makes herself that way cos she has literally given up waiting for him to make time for her. My advice to woman. Be yourself. Don’t play games or waste your life trying to attract a guy that didn’t want you when you weren’t too busy. In my experience if a guy likes you he will make time. If you have to go about proving you are interesting and exciting then he is not your guy.

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