Surviving the Worst Kind of Rejection

Rejection hurts, whether it’s finding out that the cute guy you’ve had your eye on already has a girlfriend, or chatting up a man all night who never asks for your number.

But how do you survive the most painful – and personal – rejection when the man you’re seeing decides he doesn’t want to be with you anymore? I’ve got the answer in this week’s episode of LOVELife….

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10 Replies to “Surviving the Worst Kind of Rejection”

  • Holy. Crap. This JUST happened to me last night. I’ve been seeing this guy for the last 5 months, someone who [seems] understood my really busy work schedule that I went through the last 2 months, which also meant I barely had time to sleep much less spend time with him (which again, he seemed to understand and even encouraged me to work the hours since I was getting OT). My work schedule has just normalized, and I was trying to make plans with him when he just told me he met someone, kind of started seeing them (while I was in the last week of my crazy long work hours), and that he thinks he could be serious. Completely blindsided me since things seemed really good the last time I had seen him (now 3 weeks ago). Right now I’m fighting back the feeling that somehow there’s something fundamentally wrong with me as this is my 2nd relationship in the past 2 years that ended almost the same way. I did take my time being single after the previous relationship, and I took my time getting into this one. I think I’m a pretty good catch so this one really stings and makes me wonder about myself.

    1. It could just be a time management issue… sounds a bit like overbookiing … not actually being realistic about what you have time for… maybe you spread your self thin… see the honor in dating someone or doing anything in life fullheartedly… doing 3 things and not 6 leves you less stressed and guilty too :)

      1. Actually my job has a narrow window regarding ‘busy season’. It’s crunch time at certain periods of the year and we all have a min required hours of 58/week. Some work just the 58, others work up to 80 (I personally hit 70 the last 2 weeks since I have a niche specialty). It’s not a time management issue, it’s a industry thing. Happens every year no matter what.

  • Hiii Matt,

    Love the new studio look..Fabulous, fits in well with your attitude. Still love it though and will continue to follow you Your Real..things change, You Don’t.
    Your Father’s a wise man x

    Hey love the fb running in camera shot. Gets me kinda excited ooo might be reading my comment saying:
    Here’s my girl Venus naaaa just dreaming

    Keep up the good work!!
    So Encouraging

  • Thank you, that was lovely. You have a talent for striking a thoughtful and practical balance between the acknowledgment of pain and the transmission of encouragement, where I’m sure it’s most needed.

  • Matthew,

    I have heard you on the Elvis Duran show many times. I love listening to you. You have very invaluable insights regarding relationships. I need your help. You always talk about the girl getting the guy. How about the opposite? I was engaged to a girl undated for 5 years. I can attract girls to sleep with, but I want, I need more. But my game is off, please help me with advice. I really need it. I feel to domesticated to attract girls like I used to, if that makes sense.

    Mike R

  • I have listened to this a couple times now. Probably will again.

    This has happened a couple times to me in the past two years. Over 6 and 12 months, I would grow close to a man in the context of being friends. We would see eachother more and more often and discuss more and more intimate things. Both times he eventually made a move, I responded enthusiastically, and within weeks he tried backpedaling. By a month out we were no longer speaking, and he was dating someone else.

    Being rejected by some you respect and admire, who knows you well… Yeah, that is the worst.

    But you know What I have learned? In the past two years, I have invited some really incredible people into my life, built relationships with them, and been vulnerable with them. And that is worth a whole lot.

    I love how I have put myself out there and been able to be hurt.

    Being hurt sucks but endlessly jockeying to care less is worse.

  • Hi Matt

    I couldn’t have watched this video at a more perfect time! Thank you for your amazing advice. I do have a question though..

    I was chatting to this guy, who I met online, everyday for about a week and it was going really great, and we met up a few days ago and as far as I could tell it was really fun and enjoyable. There was no awkward silences, we laughed a lot and talked a lot and even stayed longer than we both had planned because we lost track of the time.

    When I arrived home, I sent him a text thanking him for the coffee and saying I had a good time. He replied back saying he did too..It’s been more than a couple of days now and he hasn’t said a word to me…Should I be initiating anything? Or does the fact that he didn’t say anything mean he’s lost interest?

    Thanks in advance!

  • How do you get out of a funk of someone? I understand this rejection topic and i totally agree, but i am having a very very hard time getting this person out of my head, specially since he does not leave me alone and appears to want to have me on the side. And my heart goes to him everytime he contacts me. I feel rejected every day constantly because I know he doesn’t want a relationship with me. And i am dating others and going out there and pushing myself, but non of these guys are capturing my heart and all I am dong for few months now comparing them to him, which they don’t even come close. Admiring someone that doesn’t want to is the hardest. I totally agree.


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