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Selling Yourself Short

By the way, if you want to learn more about the Retreat programme Matthew mentions at the end of the video, you can watch our latest video for it here.

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53 Replies to “Selling Yourself Short”

  • Thank you Matt! You explained the idea I have
    known for quite some time. When you say you
    have barely scratched the surface, I can’t wait
    to hear more. It helps our thinking so very much.
    I hope you continue this topic in your next few
    blogs. Thank you sending the link by email too
    so very helpful. I have shared your site with my
    friends and we are all tuned in. God bless you!
    Warm regards,

  • Hi Matthew!!! This video got me thinking, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am in fact selling myself short. I’ve been seeing this guy casually since the begining of July, and one of my main problems is communication. Because the only times that I see him is at nightclubs or parties, and sometimes we chat on facebook, but since it’s supposed to be a casual thing I don´t know how to engage him more. For example, the other night we hooked up at a party and an hour lately I see him kissing another girl, I wasn’t crushed, but it did bother me. And then I made the huge mistake of doing the same thing ( though i kissed a guy not a girl hahahaha) just to remind myself that there weren’t any ties between us, we weren’t anything. But that’s the thing!! I do want it to be something, I feel really attracted to the guy and he is someone who I would had never thought about giving a second glace to, he is even a year younger than me and age used to be a huge factor for me. So I don’t want him to be with other girls but I don’t know how to approach this because I’m afraid he is going to pick them over me, so in the meantime I let him do what he wants, and that’s where I’m selling myself short. The thing is that I don’t know how to make the change from something casual into something a bit more serious and monogamous. Please help me Matt. I’m going insane.

  • Okay, so my best friend just met a guy named Riley, I liked him at first and was supportive of their relationship, but after getting to know him I feel my best friend can do better, he is a young male and I feel that his motives are those of a testosterone raging teenager, I’m sure he has good qualities but I also am sure that the bad one out weight the good, I’ve tried to give her genuine good heartfelt advice to help her make the right decision of if she should stay with him or not but I don’t think she’s seeing it, she calls him an a**hole all the time and what not but yet she stays with him, what can I do or say as a best friend who has her best interest at heart?


  • Hey Matt, that was a great piece of advice, and it’s true that most people sell themselves short, myself included, sometimes without realising it

  • Matthew, thanks for this video! I met a guy a while ago and he was a great person but he didn’t inspire the passion and ambition I need from a partner so we had the conversation and we are having some time! My family think I’m in a rut of running before I get hurt and I was starting to think that maybe I shouldn’t have done what I did and maybe that was all I should expect from my love life! Thank you for confirming that my initial instinct was right… that I am worth more!

    You are fantastic.. Thank you so much! X

  • Thanks! Especially the part how to tell someone what I need in a respectful way. I don’t want to hurt or offend people but if I don’t stand up for what I need I will never have the life I so badly want.
    Always nice to see your vblog.

    X Anna

  • Oh.. welcome back matt, we missed you A LOT!
    I can’t wait to watch your new show, but I don’t live in the States, so.. is there any chance for me to watch it online? :)

    Thank you so much for this fantastic advice, I’m actually doing online dating lately and meeting many good men, your advice just came on time and now I understand my feelings better.

    You are my favorite dating coach, not only because you are SO HOT (lol) but also so smart and kind.

    LOVE YOU! :)

  • I love your videos. They are really helpful. : ) I think you are so right. We do sell our selves short. I am going to stop……..

  • Hi Matt,

    You just hit me with a hammer with your words. I know understood it clearly.

    Thanks a ton for the video :)


  • My best friend sticks with a guy who doesn’t care for her as good as she would deserve it. And I really don’t know what to do cause I’ve told her that more than once and she always says that she loves him and that she won’t find a man who treats her better. She’s blinded! She really is a pretty and intelligent woman, I think she could get any guy, but she wants to stay with this weirdo! What can I say to clear up her mind?

  • Mathew, I hate to sound like this, but I think it’s time to let you know something…I love your video blogs, and I look forward to every one of them but the introductions are getting a little stale. Please stop being sorry for working hard!!! All your fans know you travel, do seminars, your new show w/ Eva Longoria, keeping up with the blog updates and yadiyadiyada… But know that your fans understand you are crunched for time and can’t always be available online. Also know, you don’t have to explain yourself every time your away. I love hearing you update us on what’s been going on, but please don’t stop being sorry so much, It actually makes me feel bad you have to apologize, have a little faith in your fans, I’m know majority of us who follow you on constant basis really do understand :) In saying that, I just want to thank-you for this video especially, I have a certain taste in men and I know what to look for, but it also gets hard because that means waiting, and sometimes I get impatient or I talk myself into thinking “maybe I’m being picky” so, I do what you mentioned, “I sell myself short” (physically I am, but that’s besides the point ;) Anyway, thank-you, thank-you, thank-you, for your bold, supportive and tenacious words, they continue to keep my values in check. Wishing you constant love and success, your fan, Addie :)

  • Aw, this was a really nice post. In idea I would like to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and actual effort to make a very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and by no means seem to get something done.

  • Hi Matt and all the Ladies reading this!

    Over the last year, I have made such a U-turn in my love life that I am now happy to be single! I met some nice guys, one great guy and a bunch of others.

    Watching this video on selling yourself short…I used to do that! All the time! I would find an ok guy who didn’t quite meet the mark, and just let him treat me like crap. But now, I wouldn’t even give him the time of day if a guy treated me this way.

    I went to one of the short seminars, and learned a few tips and tricks, and they really helped! Actually I’ve never had so many guys look and smile, or even chat me up like this before! It’s amazing! But the one thing it really helped me to become is a High Value Woman. I realised that there is something really special about me, that means if a guy I meet can’t treat me well, then he doesn’t see that about me, but a better guy will!

    I am single at the moment, but I’m enjoying it, as I’ve decided that to give it up for someone would be a big thing. That someone would have to be absolutely incredible! They would have to fulfill what I want, as opposed to what they want from me. I have realised that I will meet someone whom won’t try to hold me back, like all the others, but will boost me as much as I will boost him in his life. And that’s the way it should be!

    It’s taken me a full year to realise this, and now that I have I’m never going back to the mindset that being single is bad, or that being with a guy whom treats me badly is better than being single, because it isn’t!

    Now that I find myself happy everyday, I smile all the time! And guys are really attracted to that. They can sense how happy I am and they smile back at me, or even smile at me first! They chat me up, even when I look terrible! It’s all because they can sense that I am a high value woman and that I am someone very special, and they want a piece of that. But, I won’t sell myelf short to be with them if they don’t treat me well!

    To all the women asking themselves “Why am I single?”, ask yourself this instead, “Am I happy?”, the answer will change your life if you answer yourself truthfully and act on it. It did for me, and now my future is brighter than ever with the hope of fulfilling my life’s dream, while knowing that the right guy is waiting for me just around the corner, and I will meet him soon!

  • I listened to this video today before I decided to give up a boy who really isnt interested in me, but just keeps me around if his “bored”. I said that I did not belive this was going anywhere and that he was an OK dude but not for me. I feel so free and done now. I felt that he was boring and keeping me down, what a drag. I should be that desperate anyways.. All of my friends, girls and boys, doesnt understand why I stick with this guys, and now I don’t either. So THANK YOU Matthew. You are so inspiring and good with what you do. Don’t stop it anytime soon, please ;)

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