Want Men to Approach You? Use These 4 Harmless Words

This is an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at my seminar in Chicago, where I got all the info from 3 women who revealed exactly how to date in the big city…

Oh, and I also reveal a really simple reason why guys aren’t approaching you, and the simple 4 words that get him to meet you.


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37 Replies to “Want Men to Approach You? Use These 4 Harmless Words”

  • Hey, how’re you doin’ Matt? :-)

    Merry Christmas! And thanks for putting out vids every Sunday without fail.

    It’s appreciated!


  • How did I not know you were coming to Chicago? I don’t really like Chicago. You think you can cast a big net because it’s a big city. I’ll end up becoming a “serial dater” without even noticing until a friend of mine said it in front of my face. I was focusing to finding the one and it was not my intention to become one. And now I haven’t dated for awhile. I’m being selective and not just go dating for the sake of being in dating. In Chicago, in my opinion, it’s only quantity of men but not in quality.

  • Matt has uncovered another CORE of the problem – city’s GEOGRAPHY and CULTURE ! Coming from a traditional Indian background , lived 1/2 of my life in LA and now moved to a conservative state like Texas — I’m so confused — I broke my Indian tradition to learn LA culture and now I’m having hard time to acclimate and find men in Texas due to City’s less diversity and culture ! Matt help

  • hi Mathew, I had a guy who loved me and I loved him too. we could play sex and we were together for some long time but after some time he stoped contacting me just like he used before. after some time he started sending me greeting messages and sending messages on WhatsApp not love messages and I could greet him back, so he spent some long time not on WhatsApp but only on facebook. just recently when he came back on whatsap he sent me christmass messages and then he also sent me a video song “I MISS YOU”how can I reply to HIM because I still love him. thank you.

  • Hi Matt

    Thank you for this video. Chicago looks so beautiful. After watching this video it’s left me with an urge to travel.
    I’ve just realised that there’s a whole world of people out there and finding love doesn’t necessarily mean just in the country and city I’m currently in.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you.

  • I moved to Chicagoland in the late 80s. I left my hometown two years earlier and spent a year working in each, a beach and ski resort before coming here. After living in transient communities I needed to spend some time where people lived a more normal lifestyle. I figured I would be here for six months and then go back to living somewhere beautiful, but I never left. Can you guess why? The people! The people here are beautiful! Okay, so maybe it is that you can find all types of people and so, you can find beautiful people.

    One of my favorite scenes from Doctor Who is when Clara asks Danny Pink to travel the stars with her and The Doctor and Danny replies, “I don’t want to see more things, I want to see the things that are in front of me more clearly. There are wonders here, Clara Oswald. One person is more amazing… harder to understand, but more amazing than universes!”

    Living in Chicagoland taught me to appreciate the line that Danny delivered. Living in Chicagoland taught me that I didn’t need to live in a place that was beautiful. I could discover beauty right here, each day. <3

  • I wonder the advice you would give to women who wish to date within their religion but find that your tips create over friendly guys that STILL do not date. They say they are interested but their actions, or lack of, say otherwise.

    Because of our basic doctrines we believe it best to marry within our religion. This can be difficult because the value and number of women significantly rockets as we get older but the number of men becomes less…and often (not always) they seem to be….lets say more stagnant.

    This is an extremely sad reality to face…..and many women question what more can they do. These are beautiful, kind, generous, successful women that struggle with the possibly of never marrying within ones faith.

    I would really be interested on your take. But honestly, I know you are a busy man and perhaps looking at such a phenomenon under the religious culture would be too much to ask. But our church is growing….soon we will surpass the Methodist rank of being the third in highest membership. As we grow this imbalance also grows. As women we are willing to take unfamiliar steps. As for the men….I really have no idea what is their problem.

    For many of us, a simple “be willing to date outside of your religion” is not considered an option. This is by choice influenced by deep religious conviction.

    Dont get me wrong, we do have some awesomely wonderful single men out there but I suspect their hope and expectations in a spouse is severely skewed.

    Sigh. I dont know Mathew, your recommendations are effective in everyday interaction….but seem to lack potency within the religious realm.

    1. I’m in the same situation. The women in my religion seem to outnumber the men 3 to 1, or maybe even more. Possibly we have to flirt to convert?

  • Hey Matt, big cities are great for meeting people but what do I do when I live in a small rural town of just 3,000 people on top of a mountain and pretty much know all of them. The only ones who look even half way decent are already in relationships. I am on a pension so money is tight. I can’t just go off down the mountain and go out places or buy nice clothes, plus the distance is always an issue. I’ve been online dating for years and discovered more fake profiles than you can poke a stick at. I’m 61 now and been single a long time. I’m popular in my community and know just about everyone. When you say go out and meet people. I’m friendly, chat to everyone and anyone but I’m just meeting the same people over and over. I literally force myself to go to some of the lamest event in the hope I might meet someone new. I may as well be on a desert island. HELP!!

  • Does this works even if he is younger than the girl 10 years!

    Matheaw you are doing great I wish your tips is include Arab culture one day too ;)

  • Hi Matthew,
    I dated a guy for 6 months, he is 52, I’m 49… we had great sexual and mental chemistry said I love you, and then he out of the blue he said he wanted a break. Its been 30 days now and I was going to send a text to reach out, but how to approach this? I’m trying to do online dating but my heart is still stuck on my guy. We live 2 hrs apart, I’m in Vail, Colorado… he’s in the Denver area.

  • Hey, how’s it going? Im moving to Madrid soon. Do you really think those 4 words (in Spanish obviously) would work? Im not sure if all of your advice will transcend different cultures.

  • Love your videos. You guys do so great keep it up!:)

    Can you do a video on the role of the career in relationships? Can you wait to tell someone what you do career-wise? If what you do has a negative impact on relationships, could you bend the truth until they get to know you? What about former jobs, could a former career that’s socially taboo be withheld from the knowledge of people you date?

    Have a great day

  • Hi Matt, I have an opposite type of question. One of the biggest things that hold me back is my fear that if a guy likes me but I don’t feel the same way.

    I have to admit, it sounds amazing to think about how many guys you can attract and that one of them might be Mr. Right, but if you have 10 guys to pick from, at least 9 of them will have to be rejected…

    I don’t want a lot of men to desire me, I just want to find the right person for me and I understand that meeting a lot of people will increase my chances of finding that person, but how do I deal with the rest?

    Either I have a fear of them not taking “no” for an answer, or that they’ll make me feel guilty, or I just feel horrible for rejecting them (since I know all to well what rejection feels like). These concepts make me feel scared and vulnerable, but I don’t want them to hold me back anymore.

    Can you please advise on what to do with the guys you don’t actually want to attract (the good ones and the bad ones)?

    Am I over thinking this?

    Thank you for all the insights it really has taught me a lot.

    1. Amelda,
      Yes am exactly the same as this – too much empathy i wondered?
      You hit the nail on the head with your comment

  • It’s interesting all the women you met with in Chicago to tell you about the culture of the city are white (or appear white)–all from the same side of the “8 mile road”? Seems like you left out representatives from a large group of Chicago!

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