How To Turn A Guy Down In A Classy Way

In this week’s episode of LOVELife, I tackle that awkward moment when a guy you’re not interested in approaches you, and the kind way to dismiss him without scaring off other guys.

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2 Replies to “How To Turn A Guy Down In A Classy Way”

  • Hi Matthew, I want to say something about the list of the qualities of a woman you discussed on your facebook page. I agree with you completely. I see it like running a company. You need to keep improving your product to have a competitive edge. Companies don’t sell the same product over and over. They renew it to stay in the game. They have to.

    Representing yourself in outside world is the same thing. You need to sharpen your mind for good convos, you need to take care of your body, you need to keep it fresh and inviting. And doing all this takes work. Most people don’t want to do it, because they are lazy. And they don’t want anyone to poke them, because it makes them feel insecure. They want to hear the lame ol’ “you are beautiful the way you are” nonsense. And that is what most relationship gurus are selling.

    Same thing applies for men too. I had relationships but none of them made me think “wow this is it”. While I was improving myself, they stayed the same. I was like their battery for life. I felt like they just stuck the needle in my veins and sucked out my energy.

    So I know exactly what you are talking about. For some people, it is all or nothing, and they don’t mind spending the rest of their life alone if it is not with the right person.

    Enjoy your weekend.

  • Dear Matthew,

    In one of your videos you asked your viewers to comment. I was one of those girls who was secretly watching everything you post, but never commenting. In all fairness I thought ‘Yes Matthew, you are right, let’s share my story as well’. So here is my first comment, yeahh!!
    I really like your videos, thoughts and take on life. I have read your book and it inspired me so much that I have my dream job now, a lot of confidence and a happy and positive mindset. I also had a lot of dates the last few months. I might even say I’m pleased about my dating life at the moment. Now I know I make some mistakes, but I’m trying to cope with that. For instance I date the guys that are ‘safe’, the guys that won’t hurt me because I will probably not like them as much as they like me. This is still something I’m working on and trying to figure this out. But, I like working on my life and my story.
    Now in this video you explained a nice way of rejection in a bar or when you meet someone for the first time. I have a problem with rejecting men that I have known for a while or men I have been dating for some time. I’d like to be honest about it and I try to be kind in this rejection. But it needs to be clear as well. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t know how to be honest and kind at the same time because what usually happens is that a guy will not take my rejection seriously and he will chase me even harder. The reason why I try to be kind is because I think that kindness and love for one another is important but also because I’ll probably see this guy in the gym, at a bar, in the city or at the library (I’m a student, so we run in the same circles) and I don’t want anything to be awkward or him talking about me as a bad person but I want him to say “Ah yeah that didn’t work out be she was honest about it, she’s cool.” Which I obviously am :) Do you have any tips on how to do this rejection when you are already dating for a couple of weeks. Would be nice to hear you talk about that!
    You are a great inspiration, thank you for being you.


    Lotte from Holland

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