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How To Meet A Guy At The Gym

I’m not going to pretend this is easy. Well, actually it sort of is easy. But doing it takes a little courage.

Most women wouldn’t believe how much 99.9% of men would love to meet a woman during their daily workout.

Think about it: If he’s into taking care of his health (or sculpting his guns), and he sees you doing the same, killing it in your figure-hugging yoga pants, he’s going to know you both already have something in common.

man and woman talking at the gym

But most people walk around the gym in a little cocoon. They shove their earphones in, wander from machine to machine, do their stomach crunches, try to avoid eye contact and then get the hell out of there.

Well…if you want different results, you’re going to have to approach this a little differently.

So, in this blog, I’m going to show you my top 5 favourite strategies for how to meet a guy at the gym, even while you’re losing calories ;)

Strategy No. 1 – Get to know the gym staff

woman with gym instructor

The easiest people to get to know anywhere are the service staff. And the gym is no different.


Because the whole purpose of them being there is to help.

Plus, the trainers and staff at the gym tend to be the social hub, so the better you know them, the more likely that they’ll introduce you to that cute guy in the American Eagle vest over by weights rack.

It doesn’t have to be a HUGE gesture: just regularly say hi, or get to know the staff on a first-name basis. When you’re working out, ask them to help you with your form, or just say “how’s your day going?”

Note: Unless you want the staff to think you’re hitting on them, just keep it friendly and don’t flirt too much when you talk to them – have a quick chat so they know who you are for next time, then get back to your workout.

The point of this is to start being comfortable with having conversations when you’re at the gym. Take your headphones out now and then and have a minute or two where you say hi to someone, then jump to back to your exercise.

Strategy No. 2 – Don’t walk around with your “serious game face” on

women smiling at the gym

When a guy looks over and sees you charging away on a treadmill, or cranking out squats on the mats, his biggest fear is: “I’d like to talk to her, but maybe I don’t want to bother her.”

So the first step in knowing how to meet a guy at the gym (or anywhere for that matter), is to show that you are open and approachable.

The best way to do this is through two methods:

  • Eye contact
  • Smile

Most people put on a super serious “game face” in the gym. They want to look fierce and determined, but while that may be useful when you’re trying to get those final few abs crunches done, it doesn’t help in making guys feel confident in saying hello.

So if a hot guy comes to workout next to you, catch his eye for a moment in between sets (not when you’re lifting weights!) and smile just for a second longer than it’s comfortable, so that he knows you’re happy for him to talk to you.

Or even better yet, ask him for a favour or a quick tip. E.g. Say, “Can I switch with you in between sets?”, or “Do you mind if I grab that kettlebell when you’re done?”

Quite honestly, you could ask us men anything and we’d do everything we can to help, so don’t overthink this.  Just saying one line will usually give a guy all the courage he needs to start talking.

Strategy No. 3 – Use the sauna/jacuzzi/steam room to your advantage


Communal parts of the gym like saunas and jacuzzi’s are great because they allow you to be in the same vicinity as a guy and start conversation easily.

You don’t want to do anything stalkerish like follow a guy into the steam room – just do what you would naturally do, and if you end up sitting near him just make an offhand comment like, “Ah, it’s so hot in here!” or in the jacuzzi say “Do you know how to turn the jets?”, or simply “How’s your day going?”

And remember…the more you chat casually to everyone, the easier it is to meet anyone, so don’t save all your conversation for one guy only. Make it a part of your routine to say hi to 2-3 people each time you go and you’ll feel in a much chattier mood when that cute guy comes along. Even better yet, bring a friend along so that you can make it even easier.

Strategy No. 4 – Go to a boxing class

woman boxing

Well, any class really. But it’s much more likely you’ll meet a ton of guys at boxing than pilates (plus, it’s a nice way to mix up your usual workout and get out some of that aggression).

A boxing class is great because you often do exercises in pairs, and you’ll be able to chat in between exercises or just get a guy to teach you some basic techniques. It’s physical, fun, and you’ll know whether or not you can beat him up from the very first date. Win-win.

Even if you don’t usually do classes, try booking yourself in for one every week or two – it will at least get you to know some familiar faces who could introduce you to their other guy friends next time!

*          *          *          *          *

It’s a common myth that the only acceptable place to meet a member of the opposite sex is in a bar or a club.

But all of my experience has shown that the women who have the best dating lives are able to add that extra 10% of sociability to their everyday routines, like grabbing coffee or going to the gym.

This becomes a superpower, as they know how to meet a guy in any circumstance, because they are able to make every venue their second home by making conversation with everyone.

And if nothing else, it’s just another reason to dust off those sneakers and go work up a sweat. Just don’t forget the eye contact!

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8 Replies to “How To Meet A Guy At The Gym”

  • I met a guy at the gym. We had spoken online but didn’t realise we were working out next to eachother. We go to the gym and other fun places for dates all the time. It works because the gym is somewhere you are on your own showing independence and a hobby.

    One thing that features a lot in your blog is asking for a favour and making a guy feel needed it’s so easy with heavy weights to ask for a hand. Plus the guy I’m dating always wears this top I love from one compliment. It’s all your advice Matt!

  • I look like crap when I’m at the gym. Really. I hope I don’t look so terrible having sex but sex is sexy. Metal and gym equipment is not. Plus I don’t really dress to look hot at the gym. I just try to have on some eyeliner, a smudge of lipstick, and maye some stud earrings. My gym clothes are far from fabulous but why would I buy more right now when I’m planning to lose about 12-15 lbs?

    Meeting a man isn’t so much an act of desperation right now. My mom is introducing me to some people and I may try okcupid or just go out more and just be friendly.

    I’m kind of an academic snob though. I want someone smart who can hold a passionate and informed conversation about something. I like guys who know stuff.

    The pizza guy watches Trailer Wars on Netflix. Seems like he is pretty into it. I think he’s like 25.

    I’m just too snobby when I’m at a sports bar. I should start taking classes or I can meet someone in law school or at work or any number of places. I don’t want to be desperate. I’m focused on myself and on being happy.

    1. Same here! You know the saying-“If you’re the smartest person in the room you’re in the wrong room”? Well idk what other room to go to. Because I am this girl at the gym- I am friendly, I used to work there so know most of the members, work in sets with ppl I don’t know, etc. And I talk-small, quick convos so everyone can get back to their workout. Problem is, these guys turn out to be not-so-smart and have other traits that Matthew describes in his last video (wandering eye, selfish, etc.) So I do the same as you and focus on me and I’m happier than most. Someone to share it with would be nice but it’s not essential.

  • It’s really none of my business,and the number of times you’ve been asked this is too numerous to remember, I’m sure. Of course I need to ask despite the above words.
    Matthew, are you single and if so, have you ever been to Florida?

  • Love this, especially because I work at a gym. Happy to help my ladies meet some special guy in this environment (and steer away from duds).

  • 10 minutes into the gym, trying the techniques mentioned and a guy just approached me about my bright pink leggings ;) thank you!

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