Last week, I sent you a kind of crazy video about dick-pics. I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn’t catch it, make sure to go check it out on my YouTube channel when you get the chance.The reason I made that video (apart from it being some goofy fun) was because I had heard so many women on my tour ask me the same question: “Why do so many guys send me unwanted pictures of their dicks?”
As a normal man (i.e. a man who doesn’t send unsolicited pictures of my exposed penis to women I’ve never met), I was shocked by how many women had experience of this phenomenon. So in this week’s video, I want to talk more openly about the psychology behind this and explain how to respond if it happens to you (which is hopefully never, but just in case!).
Matthew, I was getting a little uptight about seeing you write something twice about this issue, but it got me to thinking. It almost seems like the good old fashioned “flashers”, just a little more hi-tech way of it. I had something happened about 20 years ago (and yes I am a bit older), not with a pic, but a guy that I’d been seeing several times. He called one day and started talking about it (not sure what was actually going on on the other of the phone…… but was probably “doing it”), and then again recently within a year. He too was just talking about it, and by the tine I figured out what was going on, it was done and over with. I cut ties with both relationships. It feels like boundaries are disrespected. Do some actually think it’s a positive thing? Or do they just take advantage of someone they don’t expect to go anywhere with? Either way very short reasoning skills and lack of respect.
That was a great video….Loved it! Thank God no one has ever sent me a Dick-Pic…LMAO!
Julie
Never say never. I was was a dick pic virgin too until just recently so this topic by Matt is VERY timely :)
Hi Mathew ,
I got a “Dick Pic ” few times recently from the same guy. I Told him that I am in a relationship but he continued to send them .
So I decided to tell him that it was a bit small and that I saw much bigger and better looking ones . LOL I haven’t heard from him since . The funny thing is that I am an older Lady and I didn’t expect this from a mature guy.
Got my first one Christmas day.(oh joy) A guy i only spoke with once. A dick pic followed by a pic of his naked butt cheeks. Thought it sounded like a case of I’ll share mine if you share yours but in reverse. The Golden rule of do unto others as youd like them to do unto you LMAO. I could see hints in electronic conversation from the start so i wasn’t too surprised – next!!!
Nice! Sometimes it’s difficult to tell between the C student and the one you shouldn’t even let enter the school. This summed that difference up nicely.
Great topic…This is really some deep insider stories of why dick-pic happened…It really ope up my mind on why certain people is such a jerk and uneducated about the communication line on the topic of being sensual…I had a good laugh on this video and thumb up for bringing up this video for us all Matt, thanks..
I think your presentation missed a major point. I wrote you the message about how women want me to send them money before we’ve ever even met. That practice is analogous to sending a dick-pic, because it’s also too early in the “relationship” (which the woman has no intention of pursuing, once she gets the money), only the woman risks nothing, whereas a guy would risk getting his reputation ruined if the woman broadcast his dick-pic. The major point that you missed is that women aren’t turned on by seeing sexual parts of men but men are turned on by seeing sexual parts of women, so women walk around daily with their cleavage exposed to general view, their hour-glass figures and their crotches tightly enveloped by tight clothing, leaving little to nothing to the imagination. That dress-code is known as “fashion.” Men are turned on by the sight and mentally undress the women so dressed. Women often send naked pics of themselves over the internet to induce men to send them money because they know that men are turned on by that and will more likely send the cash in response. Misguided men, so prepared by what they receive, may then assume, by false analogy, that women would be turned on by the correlative sight of an unclothed dick.
P.S.: I had to look again, and, sure enough, at least three members of your audience had their unsolicited cleavages exposed. Why didn’t you point that out to generate insight in their minds.
Dick pic as modern calling card!
Matthew… Can you please help out the women that are in my situation? After a couple of days of texts from two guys, they both sent the dick-pic!! I didn’t request them, they sent them without warning. Here’s my scenario… I am a 47 year old (that honestly looks mid 30s) single mom that has a difficult time meeting men based on no time to invest in going out. I have two kids that are fairly young, 11 and 13. I seem to attract much younger or much older men. I’m not interested in that at all. I’m often told that I am so beautiful that guys assume I’m married or in a relationship so they don’t approach me. Intimidated I guess. That is getting old to hear! The few local single men my age are not ready for any type of commitment. They want to play while I’m looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. What advise can you give this group of women?
Dear Matt,
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No to all these guys. When I’m getting to know you, whether romantically or in any other way, I’m going to give you room to show me who you really are. If you show me that you’re the type of person who will try to take advantage of someone if they’ll let you, I know you don’t have the kind of integrity that I can respect.
If my goal is just to have fun then I’ll read a good book. I’m not a man. I can’t completely divest myself of emotional attachment. If I spend enough time around a guy, cuddling and kissing and whatever else, I’m going to start feeling things that I don’t want to feel for a guy I can’t respect. So, no.
Nope. Also, it would be really nice to meet a good man who isn’t going to try to use a woman for sex if he thinks he can get away with it — who also isn’t a virgin. That’s super important. I’m also not interested in a sexually repressed, emotionally stunted, socially inept 14 year old in a man’s body.
Ugh. I really, really wish I wasn’t allergic to cats.
Best,
Shannon
“badly socially calibrated human being” HA HA HA… Thanks! That’s gold!
Dear Concerned Persons,
I once had a ‘dirty phone call’ from a guy asking about my knickers! By the time I had told him they were made of hessian (very harsh and scratchy mix used for farming), held up with baling twine (also farming), he’d hung up. This is true if bizarre – I was on form THAT day but didn’t give him the reaction he wanted which totally ruined the dynamic he was aiming for! But I was in the middle of dinner. When someone gives you something you do NOT want or need, acknowledge receipt and send it back. Hey, it’s a transaction!? Whether parcel or penis, unwanted is unwanted. The mentality behind the ‘gift’ is the issue, not the content. Congratulations! – you just weeded out an idiot with the social charm of a lettuce. This is not a problem if boundaries are in place and strong. Perhaps the question is not the Dick Pic but why you may HAVE to struggle to deal with it!? Therefore consider the fact that instead of acting resolutely, you had to seek ‘back up’/worry/panic which may suggest you are still learning about YOUR boundaries, no matter who/what may be trying to blur them?? Congratulations! You got a life lesson which was only a pic, nothing worse. Shrug, move on. You are learning, he’s still a lettuce! You will become more marvellous with knowledge and thus power over your life.
I think what everyone is missing is that; you are in control. Whether it is a man sending a dick pic or a woman asking for money; you are making it something they are doing to you like you have no control over it.
There are men out there who have tons of money and don’t mind sending money to beautiful women and there are women out there who would be turned on by a pic of a guys dick. Personally both dick pics and requests for money are a sign of having no class and people who I would not be interested in having in my life. (I have been known to send vids and pics to a long time lover but not to someone I just met)
When you get unsolicited pics or requests, you don’t respond if you don’t want further interaction, simple. it doesn’t have to be a big issue, it is the little red flags that tell you whether this person is for you or not.
I hear from women quite regularly that a guy they have been dating is not treating them with respect and they go on to tell me that in the beginning he did this or that; but they let it slide. Why? Why would you let it slide? If a man or woman does stuff in the beginning that you don’t approve of, why are you still seeing them and giving them chances?
Excellent point Carrie. We agree we or at least me and it seems you as well, are in control.
And absolutely, I’m 100% on this one too: “If a man or woman does stuff in the beginning that you don’t approve of, why are you still seeing them and giving them chances?”
Well, I guess the answer is easy. Because women that do this ARE SIMPLY not in control. But they are controlled by the man they are dating or being with. So i guess they have no power of negotiating terms and conditions of their relationship, nor the power to go…leave when these terms are not respected. So, the easiest way is to “complain” and play the “poor me” game.
Ohh well, we agree: poor them!
This is the best solution for a situation like this.
Check this out: a woman that is a professional photographer of dicks. i guess next time when you receive this dick pic from a guy, send him to her…she’ll most likely appreciate it and the offer will eventually meet the demand.
He wants to show his dick, she wants to see it and take shots of it.
http://nypost.com/video/meet-the-penis-fashion-photographer/