The biggest problem with dating is that it can be a big waste of time.
And let’s face it, as a single woman, if it’s a choice between your own delightful company or a boring dinner date trying to scratch around for conversation topics with some guy you’re not that into, your couch and laptop are going to win that battle every time.
So here are three golden first date tips for anyone who wants to date without all the disappointment (and without all the long drawn-out dinners of 90’s TV-sitcom cliché).
1. Do Things You Would Want To Do Anyway
People tend to hate dating when it involves doing things you don’t want to do.
If a guy texts asking if you want to go to some bar and it all sounds pretty boring, inspire him to do better!
Just respond and say: “I’ve found this really cool art exhibition I’m desperate to see this week. Fancy doing that first then maybe a drink after?”
This is a win-win text. If he hates the idea and it’s something you’d love, you know it’s not meant to be. But you still get to invite someone else and go anyway.
If he really wants to see you again he’ll always make a counter offer, so don’t worry about scaring him off with this text. If anything, it’s a great way to test his investment early on and find out if he likes you.
2. Don’t Go On The First Date Before You Know You Have Chemistry
The rise of Tinder and other quick dating apps has made us all the more willing to try out dates with people based only on a photo.
This can leave you stuck wasting time with people whom you wouldn’t usually spare ten minutes with, purely because you didn’t take the time to have a few conversations with them first to find out if you actually have any chemistry.
It’s true, first dates will always have some element of risk to them, but it’s better to at least know if someone shares common interests and traits with you before you spend an evening in their company.
Find out what he’s into. See if you connect about books or movies or sports. In other words, make sure you can see yourself actually having something to talk about, even if it’s just for an hour!
3. One Of My Personal First Date Tips: Keep It Short(ish) On The First Meeting
Make sure you have a date that feels like it can be short and very low-pressure, especially if it’s your first meeting.
First dates that work well can be walking dates, having a quick snack like dessert and coffee, or getting a cocktail somewhere fun before you go off to meet your friends (I give other examples of these in my other post on the essential first date tips for women).
That way, if you’re having fun, you can always carry on the date for as long as you want. If it isn’t your cup of tea, you can still have the evening to yourself and find other plans.
This isn’t so much the lazy woman’s way to date as the ‘busy’ woman’s way to date.
You still want to be having fun, be amazing company, and have fun with the guy, but you can also make it a part of your life that you actually enjoy instead of anxiously dread!
Once you’ve done that, make sure you read up on how to get a guy to want you so that you know precisely how to nail the first date and get him begging you for a second.