I Don’t Feel That “Spark”, Should I Go On Another Date With Him?

You’ve been on two or three dates with a guy.

On paper, he seems great. Well-educated, kind, good career, knows how to dress himself.

But you just don’t get those butterflies when you think about him. You don’t feel that tingle of passion you’ve felt with other guys you liked in the past.

Should you give him another try? Or lose him now and move on so that you don’t waste anymore time?

In this week’s episode of LOVELife, my brother Stephen and I talk to a caller who is struggling with this dilemma of choosing between CHEMISTRY or COMPATIBILITY, and determine whether it’s smart to go after one at the expense of the other.

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6 Replies to “I Don’t Feel That “Spark”, Should I Go On Another Date With Him?”

    1. One of my favorite videos.

      Chemistry CAN grow over time but your gut, I think, will be honest to you on whether you’re settling or not.

  • Thank you Matthew!

    This video went out just in time for me as I am facing this situation.

    I accepted to go on a date with a guy I’ve seen several times in group.

    We get along very well, we work in the same field, we have common interests.

    That’s why I accepted when he proposed to have dinner with me.

    But I’m not confortable with this.

    I don’t think I am attracted to him.

    I appreciate him, I think he is a great guy and I would love to be friend with me.

    I don’t know if my judgement is biased because I am a bit afraid of being in a relationship.

    But I think if I found someone I was attracted too, I would look forward to go on a date with him and would be less worried about the consequence of having someone in my life.

    My parents try to care by saying that I am going to stay single all my life if I am too picky in relation to guys.

    They say that life is short and if I find a nice guy, as they are rare, I should not let him go or I would regret it.

    This scares me a little as well as I never found someone who seems right for me and I’ve never been in a relationship before.

    But I like your point of you and I am really happy that you gave these pieces of advice.

    Thanks again!

    1. I had the date with him and I feel very bad.

      I had a great time with him. You get along extremely well and have a lot of things in common.

      So I showed him all the wrong signs.
      I showed myself very enthousiastic and very interested into him and asked a lot of questions in order to know him better.

      And now he is going to think I am attracted by him which is not the case.

      He talked about having a second date with me.
      I couldn’t say no because I was having a good time with him and did not want to disappoint him.
      But deep inside, I only wanted to see him again as friend.
      Knowing that he probably wants more make the idea of a second date not appealing at all to me.

      In my heart, I know I like him very much but don’t have feelings for him. Moreover, I’m not in an emotional state in which I can have a relationship with someone I am not attracted too.

      I will need to tell him this when he ask me for a second date.
      And I am very scared to have to tell him all this things.

      And part of me tell me that I may not meet a great guy like him, who I get along so well with and who is interested in me anymore.
      I never did before.
      It’s the first time it happens and I am getting very emotional.

      I need help.

  • Sometimes there’s chemistry from both sides but alot of other things are not great for example he is poor and i am wealthy and i know i can’t live lower than how i was raised or there’s problems with his family and mine or he is social and i am not and that makes me feel less ….or it could be that there’s no chemistry but everything else’s ok like the women on this video… If we sreached for a guy with chemistry and other life things can we find him? Isn’t that hard to get??

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